The Fire Within
by Zariha321
Summary: The Civil War is raging, tearing the north and south apart, dividing families and destroying the country. Beatrice finds herself deep in the middle of the bloodiest war in history, fighting injustice and trying to right the wrongs of the past. AN- Characters will be ooc. I do not own the characters or names. Let me know what you think!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The bugle blast interrupts the tranquil morning just before the thunder of galloping hooves is heard throughout the valley. Captain Uriah Monroe surveys his surroundings looking for what will inevitably be the Union Army pursuing him.

Just last evening he saw the snow white steed and its agile rider just outside their encampment. He's seen that horse numerous times and now he's sure that this rider is the reason that he has again been located by the Union Army and has to order his band of sharpshooters and warriors to scatter. He has vowed to find and capture this elusive ghostly steed and the scoundrel that has been the bane of his existence.

For weeks now the enormous beast and its rider have been spotted just before the onslaught of Union reinforcements reach his band of misfit soldiers. Captain Monroe's brigade is the most feared unit in the Confederacy. Up until now, he has been able to elude the Union and cause havoc throughout Virginia. His soldiers are made up of Virginian farmers and countrymen who are familiar with the Virginia countryside. They know this land. It's every hiding place, hill, and valley. They know how to use the terrain to their advantage to take the Union by surprise. But this rider, he also knows the countryside. There's no doubt that this rider was once a son of the south.

Monroe mounts his charcoal gray steed, one that is almost as large and daunting as that of the elusive Union scout, and trudges off into the woods to try to pick up the trail of his adversary. There is little or no chance that he will find this rider, but he still has to try.

He leads his steed through the brush as quietly as the agile beast can muster. If he knows his opponent as well as he thinks he does, he knows that he's already found his way onto one of the many deer paths leading through the woods and is on his way to the security of the Union lines.

He nears the edge of the forest that leads into a grassy meadow free of obstructions. He keeps himself hidden in the trees, using the waning late spring sunlight to keep hidden in the shadows.

Just beyond the edge of the forest he spies a majestic white steed grazing. He's sure this is the horse that belongs to his elusive foe, as he has never seen the match of such an incredible animal among either the Yankees or Rebels.

Monroe watches at the creature walks through the meadow to a darkened area just beyond his sight. He could follow, but that would expose him to whoever is currently sheltered out of sight. He decides it would be best to stay hidden until the rider shows himself, allowing for a clear shot that the scout will never see coming.

Once dusk has totally taken hold of the Virginian terrain, the ghostly steed comes out of hiding, his rider perched high on his back. Monroe removes his revolver from its holster and takes aim at the unwitting soldier. He cocks the hammer of the pistol back and steadies his arm. Just as he's ready to fire and finally take out this man who has destroyed several of his supposed surprise attacks, his horse rears at the sight of a large copperhead snake.

Monroe tries to settle his steed, pulling on his reigns trying to right the frightened animal. The panicked stricken animal struggles against its fear and its rider, backing up and away from the feared snake slithering along the ground. Even though the horse is still frightened, Monroe refuses to miss his chance at taking out his target. He aims his pistol and just as he's ready to fire, the horse rears and bucks, sending him flying off of his mount and landing with a skull cracking sound on the rocks and tree roots littering the ground.

* * *

Beatrice Prior sits out of sight at the edge of the meadow watching her beautiful snow white steed graze. She rode him hard today and had to offer him some sustenance before she returns to the Union brigade that is resting just a mile and a half north of this location. As the sun sets on this tremendously eventful day, she thinks about what she's doing here. She looks down at what she's wearing; she used to be seen in nothing but the finest dresses in the south. Now she finds herself wearing the clothes of a Union soldier.

She never agreed with the fact that her father had slaves on his plantation. She felt it was wrong to expect people to do things for her and to wait on her hand and foot without ever receiving any compensation. As a child she frequently got in to trouble for playing with the sons and daughters of the slaves that worked in the fields and in the house. When she got older, she was chastised for helping one of the slaves to leave the grounds to go to the hospital to see his wife and their new born child. He wasn't trying to escape, he just desperately wanted to be part of the birth of the child.

When the war broke out two years ago, she watched as the lives of the enslaved men, women, and children around her became worse. Soon after the war began, she started to try to help the slaves living on her family's plantation. Not long after she found herself helping runaways to reach the Underground Railroad. But this was never good enough for her. She was only helping a handful of people. It was then that she decided that she needed to do more.

After helping her best friend Christina, a young slave on her family's plantation, and her family to make it safely to the Underground Railroad, she made one final rebellion against her father. She stole his prized white steed and galloped north to Maryland to her cousin's home on the Union side of the State. When she arrived, tattered and exhausted, her cousin Shauna and her husband Ezekiel, a colonel in the Union Army, welcomed her with open arms.

Soon after her arrival Zeke had to leave his wife and Beatrice to resume his position with the Union Army. Beatrice found that just being in the North did not provide her opportunity to help with the war effort. She felt even more ineffective now than she did in the south. At least down there she had the chance to help runaway slaves to make it to the Underground Railroad. Here she had no way to help anyone.

At the beginning of spring in 1862, just after Zeke arrived at home for a short leave, she talked to him about joining his regiment. As a woman, it was illegal for her to even consider fighting. But she planned to disguise herself as a young male courier and join the ranks of the Union regulars. After a barrage of complaints and begging from his wife and Beatrice, Zeke finally agreed to allow her to disguise herself as a courier to carry letters back and forth between himself and his beloved wife Shauna. At first this seemed harmless, he enjoyed being able to have communication with his wife and Beatrice felt like she as doing something to help the war effort. Soon after he made this fateful decision, it became evident that this war was not going to concluded as quickly as many believed.

After some time Beatrice was asked to deliver a message to an outpost that was not far from their encampment near Fairfax, Virginia. Against Zeke's better judgment, he sent her out. She made the trip in record time. She and her steed were not to be matched. Soon after, Zeke began to send her farther out with more correspondence regarding the war efforts. In spite of his best efforts to keep her safe and away from the fighting, she became the fastest courier and found herself completely entrenched in the war.

Now she sits in a cave in the shadows at the edge of a meadow watching her steed graze his fill of the grasses. She wonders if she's really making any difference in the war or in her life. Has the risks that she's taken helped anyone really? She can't be sure, but she was also never sure if the people she helped to escape the south ever made it to freedom.

She often thinks of Christina at times like this. She and Christina were the same age. Her mother was a house servant and her father worked the stables. Those were very precious titles for slaves in the south. It was far better to work among the owners than it was to kill yourself in the fields. The house servants were better cared for and treated with more respect than the other slaves. This is how Beatrice was able to become friends with Christina. They often played together as children while Christina's mother watched over the Prior children.

When she helped Christina to escape, they agreed to meet in Philadelphia after the conclusion of the war. At this point, no one really knows when that will be. The fighting has been going on for many months now. It is the spring of 1863 and there is no end in sight.

When the sun has set and darkness has settled on the meadow, Beatrice lets out a clicking sound that alerts her horse, Abraxas, to go to her. She always felt that Abraxas was a perfect name for this horse. His perfect white coat looks ghostly in the morning sun, just like she imagines the Sun God Helios' steeds to look as they gallop across the morning sky.

Abraxas hears the clicking and meanders his way to Beatrice's hiding spot in the evening shadows. She mounts the beautiful creature and she guides him into the meadow. As she finds herself completely exposed, she hears the tale tell sound of a pistol's hammer being pulled back. She knows that she could be in trouble.

She hears a horse whinny in fear and a shot fire across the meadow. When she turns toward the sound, she sees a soldier thrown from his mount and knocked unconscious on the ground. Against her better judgment, she steers Abraxas toward where she saw the soldier fall to the ground.

When she gets to the edge of the forest she finds the unconscious body of Captain Uriah Monroe, the brother of her beloved colonel and friend Colonel Ezekiel Monroe. She doesn't personally know Uriah, but she knows who he is and what he looks like from pictures and the fact that he and Zeke resemble one another a great deal. Uriah is a man large in stature. Approximately six feet tall with a narrow build, just like Zeke. He has Zeke's brown hair and warm complexion.

She knows she should just leave him where he lies. He's an enemy of the Union and the favored brother of the Monroe family. When Zeke left the Carolinas for the north, he was immediately disowned by his family. Uriah promised him that if they ever met on the field of battle that he would not hold back because they are brothers.

She dismounts and slowly creeps over to Uriah to check to see if his wound is mortal or if he is just knocked out. As she crouches to check on him, he opens his eyes slightly at the sound of someone approaching. He looks up at her confused and disoriented.

She sees him open his eyes and it's enough to make her want to run, jump on Abraxas and speed away from this place. Zeke has brown eyes that covey tenderness and warmth when he looks at you. Uriah's eyes are cold and unyielding, even in his compromised state. She can't manage to run, all of the blood surrounding his head and his twisted limbs cause her to have concern. She reaches for his head to check the gash that is causing him to lose so much blood, and when she gets near him he seizes her arm and glares up at her. But in his weakened state, she is easily able to wriggle away from him his grasp and back away.

"I will get you, you scoundrel. I almost had you." Captain Monroe declares.

Before she can retort, she hears shouting from within the woods, coming nearer. She shakes her fear away, and she runs for Abraxas. Together, horse and rider gallop off into the darkness.

Beatrice knows that had his horse not been spooked by whatever scared it, she would be dead right now. He had her in his sights and he would have shot her before she even ever realized he was there.

She quickly rides back to the Union encampment where Zeke will be awaiting his courier, James Prior.

"Who goes there?" a voice resounds into the darkness.

"A soldier. A courier seeking Colonel Ezekiel Monroe," Beatrice declares.

"Dismount and proceed."

As she does as instructed, the owner of the voice comes into view. "Junior, is that you?" Beatrice asks.

"Prior, where've you been? Monroe's furious, you were expected back last night," Junior declares.

"Had to take a detour is all," she explains.

"Well, colonel said to wake him the moment you arrived back at camp."

"Do we have to wake him?" she asks exasperated. "We can just let him know I'm back in the morning."

"No, it has to be tonight or he'll have my head."

"Damn it, Junior," she growls.

Junior just laughs at her and leads her to the colonel's tent.

"Colonel, Prior's returned."

"Send him in," Monroe bellows from the tent.

Junior looks to his fellow soldier, "Good luck."

"Yeah," Beatrice says, "take care of Abraxas for me, okay?"

He nods and is off. Beatrice turns and enters the tent and looks upon her cousin and friend, Zeke. As soon as the flaps of the tent close out the outside world, Zeke wraps his arms around her and hugs her tight to him. "Thank God you are okay. Where have you been? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Better than Uriah's feeling right about now I wager."

He looks gravely at the young girl standing in front of him, "Uriah? You squabbled with Uriah? You are lucky to be alive, girl."

Zeke's soft brown eyes look upon her with concern. He runs his fingers through his unruly brown hair and sighs, "This is enough, Beatrice. I can't have you placing yourself into so much trouble all of the time. I agreed to have you here only as a courier. You are not a scout for the Union Army."

"I know that, but it's because of me that you've been able to upset most of Uriah's plans against the Union in the past few months, is it not?"

Zeke looks downtrodden as he nods toward the soldier, the young girl sitting in front of him. She could be beautiful, she could be the wife of some high ranking Union officer. Instead she's here, with her wavy blond locks hidden beneath a soldier's hat, wearing a baggy navy blue uniform, with dirt all over her face to hide her exhausted looking feminine features. He's sorry that he ever agreed to allow this to happen. He should have fought harder against his wife and cousin. But instead he decided to use her for his personal selfish reasons.

"What happened with Uriah?" he asks.

"I don't know Zeke, I'm too tired to talk about this now," she complains.

"You look famished and exhausted. You should lie down and sleep," he tells her.

"I'll go back to my…" she stops when he cuts her off.

"You will sleep here tonight. I'll go sleep in your tent for the night."

"I can't let you do that," she argues.

"That is an order, Prior," Zeke growls. "We will talk again in the morning." He kisses her on the cheek and takes leave of the tent.

Beatrice lies down on the cot, and immediately feels herself drifting off. It's been a long time since she's slept on anything other than her sleeping bag lying on the ground. The cot is a welcome change for her worn and torn body.

* * *

Uriah wakes to bright sunlight shining in his face. He looks around cautiously taking in his surroundings. He's in a tent, a medical tent to be specific. When he tries to move he can feel every beat of his heart through his body, especially in his head. He reaches up to find a bandage wrapped around his head and what is probably a large lump that has formed at the back of his skull.

"Captain, don't touch your head. You had a pretty bad gash and you lost some blood, but you will be fine," a pretty nurse explains.

"How did I get here?" he asks.

"A couple soldiers brought you in last night," she explains.

"Do you know what soldiers?"

"I'm sorry sir, I don't. I wasn't here last night when you were brought in. They only called me in after you arrived."

He smiles at the nurse, "Could you go out and find Sergeant Hunter or Corporal Andrews?"

"Absolutely sir, be right back," she says as she takes leave of the tent.

He lies there and tries to remember what happened last night. He had been in the forest on his horse trying to find something or someone. But what exactly that was is eluding him right now.

The nurse enters the tent with both Hunter and Richardsin tow. "They were together sir, so I brought both of them."

"Thank you Marlene. Could we have some privacy?"

She nods and leaves the tent again.

"What happened to me last night?"

Both Hunter and Richardslook bewildered at their captain.

"I'm not sure sir," Peter Hunter speaks first. "We heard a shot and followed to sound to the edge of the forest. There we found you unconscious on the ground, Phobos was nearby grazing."

"Was there any sign that someone else was there?"

"It was obvious that there was another horse grazing there at some point, but we couldn't pinpoint where the horse and rider had gone after leaving the meadow," Drew Richards explains.

Uriah struggles to think back to last evening's events. He was pursuing someone that was around the meadow. Then he suddenly remembers the ghostly white steed and its agile and dauntless rider. They are the reason that he's here today. This realization is enough to infuriate him. It isn't enough that the scout has spoiled some of his best plans over the past months, now he's responsible for his being injured.

"We need to set a trap for that scout and his ghost steed," Uriah declares. "We will put an end to the Union's good luck."

**Thanks to NYCgirl166 for checking out my story before I published it! **


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Beatrice wakes in the morning to the sound of Zeke's voice. "Rise and shine soldier," he says gently.

She slowly opens her eyes to find him standing before her smirking at her. She slowly sits up and he hands her a tin cup. "It's just water, I thought you'd need something to drink when you woke," he explains.

"Thank you," Beatrice says smiling at her friend.

"So Tris, are you going to tell me what exactly happened to you and what it had to do with my brother?"

She sighs and looks down at the cup in her hands, "I was letting Abraxas graze. After I'd overheard Uriah's soldiers talking about their plans to ambush our regiment, I immediately got out of there like I promised, but I was chased. It was easy enough for me to get away, their horses could never keep up with my Abraxas, but I still had to push him hard. We hid out in the caves in the hills until it was almost dusk. You always told me it was safer to travel by the dark. Just as dusk was falling I decided to allow Abraxas out into the meadow to graze. He needed to recharge for our return to camp. I waited until night had fallen and called him back to me. When we emerged from our hidden cave, I heard the click of a hammer on a pistol. I turned instinctively toward the noise and as I turned I heard the frightened whinny of a horse, a shot, and something hard falling to the ground. Against my better judgment, I went to check it out and found Uriah bleeding on the ground under a tree. He'd been thrown from his horse."

"You could have dispatched him right there," Zeke says with annoyance in his voice. "Why didn't you take the opportunity to eliminate the threat of Uriah Monroe from our lives, Tris?"

"I can't murder someone in cold blood, Zeke."

"Do you think he would have afforded you the same consideration? If that Phobos hadn't thrown him, then you would be dead right now."

Beatrice looks down ashamed. She knows that she could never kill someone who is defenseless, but she also knows that Zeke is right. If Uriah had the chance he would have shot her and he would have been happy to do it.

A soldier comes to the entrance of the tent and announces himself to Zeke. "ColonelMonroe, a parcel has arrived."

Zeke pushes the flap of his tent aside and slides out of the tent and into the warm spring morning. He retrieves the parcel from the courier and retires back into his tent. He unfolds the bundle, revealing the news inside.

"Beatrice, why don't you go find something to eat," he advises.

She nods, "Yes sir."

She relieves herself from the tent and goes off to find food and something a little stronger than water to drink.

Zeke reads over the letter. It's a command from his superior officers, the letter details the Rebel's movements through Virginia, heading north toward the Mason Dixon Line and toward Pennsylvania.

_May 30, 1863_

_Colonel Ezekiel Monroe of the Army of the Potomac, Pennsylvania 15__th__ Regiment Cavalry, _

_The Rebel Army is being to organize in the border of Tennessee and Virginia. According to sources, we believe that they will make their way through Virginia. It is believed that they General Robert E Lee has decided to bring the fight to the Union. They are headed for the Mason Dixon. General Meade wishes for as many battalions to be ready to proceed north as we can muster. We are going to stop them dead before they reach the Mason Dixon…_

Zeke reads this news and knows that he needs to do something about Beatrice. It's not going to be long before they are engulfed in a battle, the likes of which he hasn't yet been a part. He's wanted to let someone else know about her and his arrangement with her for quite some time. Now might be that time. He needs to make sure that if something happens to him, that she's safe.

He pens a letter to his fellow colonel and friend who is currently stationed in northern Virginia near Maryland. He includes the letter that he received and he also attaches another note explaining about Beatrice.

"Prior," Zeke bellows from his tent. He sees her sitting around a fire with a group of soldiers talking. None of them knows that she's a woman, they all believe her to be a fearless young man. Zeke wonders what would happen if these men realized that their friend, their audacious courier who been a better scout in the past months, was actually a pretty young woman full of fire and spirit. But also a woman who has seen more violence than any of these men could muster. She watched as her father physically, sexually, and mentally abused the slaves, servants, and her mother, sisters, and herself. And that it is because of him that she has shut herself off from the idea of marrying and of being with a man. She has instead resolved to be the intrepid yet careless Union courier. Zeke can only hope his plan to have her work undercover with Eaton will work and he can for once during this war bring her from harm, just for a while.

Beatrice hears her name coming from Zeke and she rushes over to his tent. "Yes Colonel Monroe?" she asks.

"Prior, I have a parcel that needs to be delivered to Colonel Tobias Eaton, Army of the Potomac, Pennsylvania First Regiment Light Artillery. Their encampment is about Seventy miles north of here, just this side of the Mason Dixon. I need you to deliver this to Colonel Eaton." Then he hands her another parcel, "I need you to take this to Shauna also."

She looks at him and nods, "Yes sir. Right away sir."

"Prior," he says stopping her. "No detours. You go straight to Colonel Eaton. Then immediately to Shauna. I'll expect you back in four days time. I want you to spend some time with Shauna and make sure that she is well and let Abraxas rest a day before returning. Understand?"

Beatrice nods, "Yes, I understand." She runs off to find Abraxas. She mounts her steed and gallops off into the Virginia forest.

* * *

"Our orders are to push north to intercept the Union at the Mason Dixon," Uriah explains to his warriors.

His unit is different from the Confederate regulars. His unit is the elite of the Confederate army. These are not your typical farmers and land owners, they are different. These guys enjoy the fight, they enjoy the battles, and they especially enjoy taking the lives of those that oppose them. He calls them the elite because they are who General Lee sends out when he wants a specific job done. Until lately, Monroe has never entered a battle that he didn't win and he never planned an attack that didn't go as planned. He is a brilliant strategist. That is until the ghost horse and rider entered the picture.

"We will assemble and march north moving our gang of sharpshooters into position just outside of Pennsylvania. We have three days to travel the one hundred mile expanse. Let's break camp," Uriah commands his troops.

The group of thirty soldiers disburses and they all begin to follow his direction.

Sergeant Hunter comes to Uriah's side, "Sir, a Union courier was spotted just outside our encampment headed north."

"Yes, and?" Uriah asks.

"Sir, he was riding a ghostly white steed."

Uriah looks at him, that damned Yankee may have again outsmarted him and his band of warriors. If he heard the commands he just gave and reports back to his superiors, they will again be cut off by the Union Army before they reach their destination.

"Bring Phobos to me, now!" Uriah bellows.

He mounts his steed and roars off into the morning in search of his elusive foe. He decides that either this scout has a death wish or is just plain stupid. It is reckless and foolish to travel so close to an opposing encampment just to receive a little information. But now this imprudent soldier knows their orders and will be able to set the Union Army against them.

Uriah searches the forest and deer paths for the ghostly white horse, but comes up empty. He returns to camp and the moment he enters his men look at him for orders.

"Saddle up," Uriah bellows.

The men scatter, gathering their scarce belongings and mounting their horses. In a matter of minutes the band of unruly soldiers are on their horses and thundering into the forest in pursuit of their enemy and their ultimate destination. General Lee has ordered an attack on the north. He will no longer wait for the war to be won in the south, he is taking the war to them. He will break the Yankee forces in their territory.

As the group travels through the forest, Monroe sends scouts forward to gage enemy activity and to search for the ghost horse.

They travel in pursuit well into the evening before they stop to make camp. They managed to travel a huge expanse without coming into contact with Yankees or the ghost horse and rider.

Captain Uriah Monroe leads his exhausted steed to a nearby stream to get a cold drink and to graze a bit before bed. As he slowly nudges the horse forward down the small embankment, he spots what appears to be a young boy sitting motionless near the stream. He scans the surroundings but sees nothing more than the boy. But he feels like there's more than meets the eye here.

He gingerly approaches the stream on his horse, pistol drawn and ready to fire. In the light of the waning moon, he sees that this is no ordinary boy. This boy has on the clothes of a Union soldier.

* * *

Beatrice crouches next to the stream, filling her canteen and trying to choke down some hardtack before remounting Abraxas and continuing a little farther on her trek to the north and to Colonel Eaton. She made quite a discovery today when she inadvertently passed Captain Uriah Monroe's camp after she left on her journey north.

She heard them talking about riding north and that Lee would be leading his Rebel regulars north as well. She knows this is information that will be invaluable to Zeke and to Colonel Eaton.

She breathes in deeply as she rests her weary body by the stream, Abraxas grazing nearby, but out of sight. Beatrice closes her eyes for what seems like minutes when she suddenly gets the sense that something is amiss. She opens her groggy eyes, surveying her surroundings. She stands and clicks for Abraxas. When he gets near her she checks his girth and begins to gather herself onto his mount to move out. As she's mounting her horse, she hears a loud crack, like the shattering of a large tree branch.

She scans the now heavily dark evening only to come up empty. She gestures for her horse to move when she hears the sound of hooves on the hard dirt ground. Beatrice spurs Abraxas and he sets off in a sprint.

"Men, follow me!" someone shouts behind her. And the thunder of what seems like a million hooves begin their hunt.

She knows Uriah and his men know these woods and trails, but so does she. She spent many years being schooled in Virginia and she spent her spare time riding through the Virginian hills and valleys.

Abraxas dodges in and out of trees and from one deer path to the next to escape their pursuers. It's almost as if woman and beast were as one body and one brain. She doesn't even have to steer the beast or urge him to go faster, Abraxas just knows and obliges without hesitation or complaint.

After some time, the sound of the group following falls behind. Beatrice urges her horse to slow his pace slightly. She's ridden him hard all day today and she doesn't want to injure her beautiful friend. She takes in her surroundings to try to figure out if there is a safe place that she can rest for the night.

She should only be about five miles from Colonel Eaton and his reinforcements at this point. But to try to come upon a Union camp at night is not advisable.

In the side of a large hill, just outside of the forest, she finds a small den where she and Abraxas will be able to put themselves out of sight of intruders and will provide them with shelter for the night.

* * *

Horse and rider take off before Uriah even realizes what happened. He's never seen a horse that can ride that fast before. He's even faster than Phobos, which is quite a feat.

He calls for his troops to follow and they gallop as one unit into the woods to capture horse and rider. But as soon as the boy and ghost horse enter the forest, they disappear in what seems like a cloud of smoke. They are just gone. There's no trace of either of them, no sound, nothing.

Uriah can't believe his eyes. He knows they aren't ghosts, he knows that they are flesh and blood. He had the boy in his hand before blacking out just a few days ago. They continue to gallop through the forest, trying to find any trace of man or beast, but there is none to be found. He soon calls off the chase and they return to their camp for the night.

At day break they will continue their journey north, following the orders sent to them.

* * *

Beatrice sleeps until just before the sun begins to rise. She wants to set out while it is still dark so that she can put more distance between herself and Monroe. She's had two close calls with him in the past two days, she knows that her luck cannot possibly hold out much longer.

She and Abraxas move through the darkness without making a sound. The dark silent just before the rise of the morning sun. She covers the five miles to the encampment in a matter of what seems minutes. When she comes out of the forest and into the clearing where the camp is found she is immediately halted by two guards.

"What is your business here?" one soldier bellows.

"James Prior, courier for Colonel Ezekiel Monroe. I have correspondence for Colonel Tobias Eaton."

"I am Colonel Eaton, what is the correspondence?"

He gazes at horse and rider. The steed is a barrel chest beast with legs the size of tree trunks. The well muscled creature appeared to have the power of a train within its muscles. He was a formidable creature who continued to move his legs as if he desires to launch himself from the earth and fly through the wind.

His eyes move up to the rider of small stature who looks at home and completely comfortable with the mountainous beast.

"My letter of introduction sir," Beatrice says handing over the document.

Eaton scans the document then looks upon the rider with surprise. "You are Prior?" he asks. He scans the figure sitting upon the beast. Small and lean, resembling a farm boy, the oversized Union uniform hiding what signs of femininity that the letter claim lie beneath.

"Yes sir," she says almost defiantly. "I have correspondence from Colonel Monroe and I also bear news. As I was traveling I came across a Rebel camp, the camp of Captain Monroe. They were talking about the Confederate forces moving north to break the back of the Union."

"You think it was Monroe's band?"

"Yes sir, I do. He found me resting near a stream and they pursued me until I lost time in the Virginia woods just south of here."

Eaton looks upon the figure sitting before him. He's not sure has she's been able to hide herself amongst men for as long as Zeke says she has. Beneath the baggy uniform and oversized hat is the face of a beautiful girl with bright blue eyes. He can see her, even behind the dirt and the mask that she puts forward.

He reads over the orders provided to him, "Prior, could I impose upon you to deliver a correspondence for me. I need to get word to General Hays. He's in Springfield, that's just south of here."

Beatrice nods. She's captivated by the Colonel seated before her. He's tall and lean with eyes the color of the Atlantic Ocean. He has dark brown almost black hair and he's very handsome. Sitting upon his steed, he looks like a titan ready to ride into battle.

He hands her the correspondence and their hands graze just for a moment. She looks toward him in shock as she pulls the document into her possession and secures it in her saddle. "Sir I need a pass,"

"Oh right, Prior was it? Here you go," he says handing her the slip of paper introducing her as a courier for him. "Perhaps we will meet again in better circumstances, Prior."

She looks at the colonel in surprise. She quickly turns and gallops out of the camp and away from the handsome colonel that is now occupying her mind.

* * *

Not far from the camp in which Beatrice has left sits Captain Monroe on his steed. His men woke starved for both food and some action. Instead of moving in too close to the Union camp, he sits on a hill overlooking what appears to be a small band of Union soldiers held up waiting for either commands or the rest of their battalion. Never the less, they are an easy target for he and his men to let off some steam and to collect some provisions.

They move stealthily down the hill toward the small encampment. Uriah is surprised when he sees the ghostly white horse and its rider moving slowly into camp. _This could not have worked out better_, Uriah thinks to himself. He shouts, "Charge!" and his men move quickly into the camp.

He withdraws his pistol from his saddle and aims it at the figure sitting upon the majestic steed in front him. He aims and fires, but misses the figure by inches. The rider turns and looks horrified at the gang of Rebels entering their camp. He spurs his horse and the white steed jets off through the camp and out the other side.

Uriah pursues with his soldiers following closely. Just as the bulk of them enter the area, a bugle blares and Union troops surround them on three sides. The Union Army surrounds the Rebels on three sides forcing them to move south to avoid being taken prisoner or killed.

Uriah leads his band out of Fairfax and heads south toward the Potomac River near the Chesapeake. He's furious that the damned scout managed to thwart his plans again.

They move south and make camp in a small town near the Potomac River.

"Sir, we need to rid ourselves of that scout," Peter says as he walks over to where Uriah is seated with his canteen and the latest correspondence from General Lee.

"I'm aware of that Sergeant. Would you like to devise a plan because it's not a lack of effort that we haven't rid ourselves of that menace as of yet."

Peter looks at him with fear and annoyance. Maybe he did state the obvious, but they are not going to get anywhere if they can't find a way around that boy or if they can't dispose of his constant threat.

* * *

The information from Beatrice and the letter to General Hays allowed Colonel Eaton to devise this trap to flush out Uriah and his band of misfit soldiers. She also helped by using herself as a decoy, luring Uriah into the trap and forcing him to move south and away from his destination in the north.

Eaton rides up to Beatrice. She sits on her mount, graceful and strong. "Thank you for allowing me to use you as a decoy," he smiles at her.

She looks at him stunned. She feels like it should be she who is thanking him for making sure she didn't get shot. She dismounts Abraxas and leads him to the stream nearby so that he can get a drink. She's surprised when she hears the hammering of hooves on the ground behind her.

She turns to find Colonel Eaton standing behind her, leading his horse to the stream as well.

When he stands next to her she can see the full extent of his stature. He's a very tall man, even taller than Zeke. Even through his navy blue officer's uniform, she can see that he is a very muscular and fit man. The word titan comes to mind again, because even without the size of his enormous horse, he's still very large and daunting.

"You look too worn for words. Why don't you join us at camp, it's not far from here."

"I can't sir. I have to be on my way."

"Absolutely not, Monroe's men are still in the area and if the fact that he, himself took a shot at you, I'd say you aren't safe with him around."

"I've been thwarting his plans for some time now. I believe I've made an enemy. Can I ask you a question sir?"

"Yes," he replies reluctantly.

"You referred to him by his given name earlier, why?"

"I've known Zeke since he and Shauna moved north years ago. He used to talk of his brother with such reverence and love. When the war broke out he was horrified to find that his family disowned him and his own brother said that if they met at battle that he wouldn't hesitate to kill him. Now you tell me, how did such a young woman come to be mixed up in this war?"

She looks at him in surprise. She didn't read the introduction that Zeke gave to him for her. He must have described her and what the situation was. "I was a daughter of a plantation owner. I didn't like that he had slaves. When the war broke out I started helping runaway slaves reach the Underground Railroad. Soon after I freed my friend and her family I took Abraxas and ran away myself to my cousin Shauna's home."

He nods in understanding. "Now I'm quite sure that your name is not James, what is your real name?"

She looks down shyly. This is the first time she's ever going to tell someone her real name since she arrived in the Union ranks over a year ago. "My name is Beatrice Prior, sir."

"The name is Tobias, please don't call me sir." He takes her hand and kisses the soft skin on her knuckles. "It's a pleasure, Beatrice."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Beatrice stands and looks to the man standing in front of her. He's not acting much like a commanding officer at the moment. She's not sure what he's doing, she's not used to men behaving like gentlemen. Even the men she knew in the south that tried to court her never behaved this chivalrous.

She smiles shyly at the man before her. Her heart flutters a bit when she realizes that she's actually being treated like a lady, it's been so long since someone other than Zeke treated her like she's a woman.

"Well Beatrice, I insist that you return to camp and get a good meal and a good night's sleep before you are on your way."

She nods in agreement, realizing that to argue would be pointless. She is exhausted and she would love nothing more than to have a real meal and a safe night's sleep before moving on to deliver the correspondence to Shauna.

She turns and limps toward Abraxas. When Tobias sees that she is limping he asks her about it. "Did you get injured?"

"I think I twisted my ankle when Monroe caught up with me at the stream yesterday."

She turns to mount her steed when from behind her strong hands wrap around her waist and lift her onto her horse. She looks to him with surprise but doesn't say anything as he effortlessly climbs into the saddle of his own horse.

They begin to ride toward camp in silence. "So you are Shauna's cousin?" Tobias asks breaking the silence.

"Yes, when she and Zeke left the Carolinas she asked me to come along. She knew how unhappy I was on the plantation. It is a difficult life to lead when you hate everything around you. But I couldn't leave I had to save my friend. She was the daughter of one of the house slaves. I couldn't go until I helped her and her family to escape."

"That's very noble of you. Most people would have simply thought of themselves."

"She saved me in more ways that I can describe," Beatrice says without further explanation.

Beatrice thinks back to the time four years ago, before the war broke out. Her parents had been entertaining; it was something that they frequently did with the people in the community. They were very generous people when it came to parties and such. But that generosity did not extend to the slaves that provided them with the luxuries that they had. Because of the slaves, they had crops to sell and they didn't have to work. Their generosity also didn't extend to their daughter that was too defiant to keep her mouth shut and to do as she was told.

At one specific party a man in his thirties named Eric had asked for her sixteen year old hand in marriage. Her father promptly agreed. He was a wealthy man but he was rude and crude and almost twice her age. When her parents announced that their daughter would be marrying Eric, Beatrice couldn't do anything about it. She ran to her room and wept. She didn't want to be a bride at sixteen, she also didn't want anyone telling her who she was going to marry.

There came a knock on the door. Thinking it would be her mother or one of the servants, she announced for the visitor to enter. When she looked up she found the man standing before her. Before she could move or stop him he had her pinned to the bed, her bloomers off, and he was on top of her.

She tried to scream, but he growled into her ear telling her that he would take what was his. She was now his property.

He raped her multiple times. In the middle of one of his bouts, she tried to get away from him by biting him. That earned her a slap to the face and a bloody nose and mouth. But it was enough to allow her to let out a small cry that she hoped someone would hear.

Christina heard her cry and knew something was going on in Beatrice's bedroom. But there was nothing she could do. Instead she found Beatrice's brothers Caleb and William and told them her of her suspicions. They had also grown up with Christina and they were very close friends. William often felt love toward her, a forbidden love that they would never be able to have because of the politics of the time. Both boys rushed out of the room toward Beatrice's room.

When Eric finally finished what he was doing, Beatrice was barely conscious, and was bleeding. Her battered and bruised body lay motionless on the bed while Eric replaced his trousers and looked upon her with lust and power.

Caleb burst into the room with William behind him to find their sister naked and bleeding on the bed and this man hovering over her. Caleb had taken a knife with him when Christina told him of her suspicions. He wanted to be able to protect himself and his sister effectively.

Caleb launched himself at Eric, stabbing him right in the stomach. The wound would be mortal, but not before Eric inflicted a mortal wound of his own on Eric. Christina screamed as William forced Eric to release Caleb and disarmed him.

Christina's scream caused Beatrice's parents to come and see what was happening. They found William holding a dying Caleb on the floor, Eric struggling for breath, and Christina attempting to cover Beatrice's bruised and battered naked body.

What resulted from the attack was her parents blaming her for the death of her brother. It was because she couldn't defend herself against Eric's attack that Caleb died. It didn't seem to matter that Eric was twice her size and much stronger. Eric died from hanging. When Beatrice's father saw what had happened to his precious son, he immediately had Eric removed from the house and hanged.

William soon left the Carolinas for college in the north. He never blamed Beatrice for what happened to her, but the death of his brother and seeing his sister like that made him want to go to school and make a difference in his own way. He went to study to be a lawyer.

Christina was whipped for going to get Caleb and William to help Beatrice. She never blamed Beatrice for it, but she was cautious afterward. They remained friends until Beatrice lead Christina and her family to the Underground Railroad. They agreed to meet in Philadelphia following the war.

Beatrice remained silent as she thought about the past and its effects on her life. Tobias looks over at the woman next to him. He can see that she is currently a million miles away from here. The look in her eyes is sad and broken. He wonders what happened to such a young girl to break her like this.

"Beatrice?" he says breaking her out of her trance.

"Yes?"

"I was just wondering where you just were, because you weren't here anymore. It was like your mind traveled miles away from here and now."

She smiled at his thoughtfulness and perception. No one has ever been so perceptive when it comes to her moods before. She finds this intriguing, but she doesn't share her story. "Maybe someday, if we are acquainted in another place, I'll tell you my story."

He looks at her captivated by her strength and stubbornness. "I'll remember you said that," he smirks at her.

They continue their ride to the camp in silence. But neither of them is complacent. Tobias' mind is reeling from the possibilities of getting to know this fascinating creature away from this place. Beatrice's heart is hammering in her chest and she's nervous about his promise to remember her words.

Just before they enter the camp, Tobias grabs Abraxas' reigns and pulls both horses to a stop. Beatrice looks at him expectantly, but nervous.

"Beatrice, can I write you?"

"What?"

"I would like to write to you, until we meet in another time and place."

She smiles at him but only says one word, "Okay."

He releases the horse and they finish going into the camp. They are greeted with hoards of soldiers.

"Take the horses to water and feed them," Tobias announces. "And someone please get Soldier Prior some food and a place to sleep for the night. He will be moving out first thing in the morning."

Beatrice is amazed at how quickly he can put on an air of superiority and instantly refer to her as a man, much like Zeke does. She always thought that there were no other men out there that were like Zeke, but she was wrong. She is discovering that there are others, and Tobias is one of them.

June 1, 1863

When Tris wakes in the morning she feels different. She's not sure why, but something about her is lighter and for the first time in a long time, she actually cares about what she's doing.

She readies herself in the tent before leaving. She has to make sure her clothes are bunched in the right places, her hair is pulled up and inside of the hat, and her hat is pulled down across her face to mask her more effectively.

She emerges to find Tobias standing just outside of her tent with a plate of hot food and a canteen full of water. "I wanted to make sure you ate something before leaving for your next assignment," he tells her. "A hungry soldier is a useless soldier, I always say."

She smiles gratefully and takes the food and canteen. She seats herself on a log just outside of her tent and begins to eat.

Tobias stands nearby, "Soldier Prior."

She stands abruptly and solutes, "Yes sir?"

"I am going to have one of my soldiers escort you out of the area. The Confederate Army is aware of your involvement, especially Captain Monroe. I would feel more comfortable if you had backup in case of trouble. We need to assure that the package you are carrying gets to its intended recipient. Also, before you leave, please stop by my tent. I have a correspondence for Colonel Monroe."

"Yes sir," she says and solutes again. Tobias turns and walks away. She resumes eating her breakfast, eager to get on her way to Shauna's house and back to camp with Zeke.

* * *

Uriah and his band of misfit soldiers continue down the Potomac and settle in Fredricksburg. There they recoup their losses and lick their wounds from the debacle from two days ago.

When Uriah decides that they have had enough eating and drinking for the time, he resolves that it would be best to try to avoid another Union onslaught by crossing the Potomac and making their way up its banks on the other side of the river in Maryland.

They are able to travel at night and avoid the prying eyes of Union soldiers by staying to the river banks.

After what happened in Fairfax, he's ready to put the ghost horse and its rider out of his mind. He's had to avoid the desire to go after him and kill him, especially since the Union Army used him as a decoy. Uriah also knows that Eaton was only messing around with him in Fairfax. If he had wanted, Eaton could have captured his entire platoon of soldiers without incident and imprisoned or killed the lot of them. The fact that he didn't and chose only to drive them back says that Uriah and his gang are lucky to still count themselves among the living. Uriah now vows to make that Eaton's undoing.

They cross the Potomac near Fredricksburg and travel up the Maryland side of the river toward Baltimore. The trip from Fredricksburg to Baltimore takes five days. From there they will slowly continue north toward the Mason Dixon Line. Uriah calls a meeting with his troops to explain what is expected of them. It is now June 6th and they are to meet General Lee in Pennsylvania in seven days. With only forty-five more miles to travel until they reach the Pennsylvania border, the troops take a much needed rest in the shadow of the city of Baltimore.

* * *

Beatrice and her escort travel north from Fairfax to Bethesda, Maryland, where she will find Shauna. As they travel the twenty miles to Bethesda, she and her escort don't really speak. She's not sure why Tobias insisted on an escort and why he looked distressed when she was leaving.

He gave her a letter for her to give to Zeke upon her return to her regiment who should be near Gainesville by now. All of the Armies of the Potomac are converging on Pennsylvania to try to stop Lee before he crosses into northern territory.

She arrives in Bethesda that evening to a warm welcome from Shauna. She bids farewell to her escort and enters the house.

Shauna pulls her into a hug, "How are you Tris? It's been so long since your last visit."

"I'm well. Your husband felt that I needed to get away from the battlefields for a day or two. I've managed to get on his brother's bad side."

"Uriah? How did you get on his bad side? Not that I remember Uriah ever having a good side," she scoffs.

"It's just that somehow I was always in the right place at the right time to overhear his plans. I think it's more that he's not very good at keeping things a secret or telling his men their orders in a manner that would be difficult to be overheard. He recognizes Abraxas, so he knows it's always the same rider that seems to get in his way."

"Well, I'm sure you'd love to get a hot bath and actually put on some feminine clothes for once."

"That sounds wonderful," Beatrice sighs.

Beatrice moves toward her old room. She finds a dress, shoes, and clean undergarments. She then runs her bath.

An hour, several tubfulls of hot water and lots of scrubbing later she's finally clean and actually looks like a lady. She asks the maid to wash her dirty uniform as she readies herself to have dinner with Shauna.

When she enters the dining room, she's surprised to see a soldier standing there talking to Shauna. He's a large man and appears to be well decorated, he must be a colonel or some higher rank.

Shauna looks toward Tris and smiles, "Now that's the girl I remember. How does it feel to be a woman again."

"Good actually. You have no idea how annoying it is to constantly pretend to be a man," Beatrice says.

The soldier turns and Beatrice is bet by the most magnificent blue eyes she's ever seen. Tobias. He smiles at her and bows.

"Hello again Beatrice, how are you?"

She looks at him with confusion etched across her face, "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to make sure you made it safely," he says smiling.

"If you'll excuse me, I'm going to check on dinner. Tobias, will you be joining us?"

"That would be wonderful, thank you Shauna."

After Shauna leaves the room, Tobias walks over to Beatrice and takes her hand and kisses it. "I knew under all of that dirt and grime and behind those baggy clothes was a beautiful woman. It amazes me that you are able to hide this beauty from the world."

She looks down shyly.

Shauna enters the dining room behind the maid carrying food for dinner. They set the table and everyone sits down for dinner.

"So Tobias, you say that you met Tris in the field?"

"Tris?" he asks.

"That is what my family and friends call me."

He smiles and nods, "Yes, Zeke had her bring some correspondence to me. She was supposed to move along and come here last evening, but she looked tired and famished so I made her stay."

"Well that was probably a good idea, Tris is the kind of person that will push herself until she's half dead. When she ran away from her father's plantation she and Abraxas made it from the Carolinas here in about seven days."

He looks at her astonished. "That's a long way to travel in such a short period of time."

"I just needed to get away, you know?"

He nods as if he understands, and for some reason she's sure that he does indeed understand.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

They complete dinner, not talking about anything of any real importance. The conversation continues for a short time, but then Tobias decides that it's time to return to his battalion.

"Shauna, dinner was perfect. It's been so long since I had a good home cooked meal like that."

"Thank you, Tobias. I'll be sure to extend your thanks to our cook. She really is a fantastic cook. Well, I'm going to see if they need anything before I take my leave. Good night Tobias, be safe."

"Good night," he replies. He waits for Shauna to leave then he turns his attention to Tris. She looks up at him and smiles. "Well, you told me that if we ever met in another place that you would tell me something about yourself."

She looks surprised, "What would you like to know?"

"Your story of course. I want to know what makes a beautiful woman dress like a man in order to join the army."

"I've seen a lot of injustice in my life. I've been part of having injustice thrust upon me. Some people become lawyers and try to change the laws, some people fight, and some people sit back and allow others to fight for them. I guess I'm just someone who wants to fight for myself, you know?"

He nods, "Well Beatrice, it was wonderful to make your acquaintance. I look forward to our correspondence."

"As do I," she smiles, "and please, my friends call me Tris."

He takes her hand in his and kisses it. He bows to her, "Until we meet again, Tris." He releases her hand and walks from the house. When the door closes behind him, Shauna comes out from hiding.

"He's going to write you?" she asks with an air of excitement.

"I guess, he asked if he could write me and I agreed."

"Tris that's magnificent. But I thought…" she trails off not wanting to bring up the atrocities of her childhood.

"I know Shauna, but for some reason I feel comfortable around him. Like I could trust him. He's not my father, and he's not Eric. I don't get the feeling that he would hit me or force me into anything. Besides its just letters, it doesn't mean anything."

Shauna smiles and nods, but she knows that there could be something there, if not for this damned war.

* * *

The next morning Beatrice dresses in her worn and tattered uniform, careful to adjust it so it is hides any signs of the woman hidden beneath the fabric. She pulls her hair up into her hat and smudges her face with some dirt from a potted plant to try to hide some of her femininity.

Shauna joins her in the dining room, prepared to bid her cousin farewell yet again. She spent the night writing an emotion filled letter to her beloved Zeke. She seals the envelope and passes it to Tris upon entering the dining room.

"So I guess this is it for a while?" Shauna asks sadly. "I really miss having you around. When you were here, you made Zeke's leaving so much easier."

"I'm sorry cousin, but I have to do this, now more than ever."

"Why now more than ever? I would have thought that since you actually wanted Tobias to write you that you might decide to hang up that old uniform and return home."

"I can't, not yet. I have to be part of this, of what's going on out there. It's important, so much more important than my love life."

Shauna nods her understanding.

"I'll try to visit again soon." Beatrice pulls Shauna into a hug and immediately turns and quickly exits the house.

Outside she finds a stableman holding Abraxas. The steed looks as anxious as she feels, like the confinement of real life is too much and the only place that they can be happy is galloping at top speed through the forests of Virginia.

Beatrice thanks the stableman and takes the reins of her horse. As soon as she spurs Abraxas he shoots off like a bullet down the street. Together rider and steed move as one through the streets of Bethesda, heading south towards Gainesville.

The forests of Virginia are eerily quiet as the sounds of battle have ceased. She isn't sure what is happening, but she's sure that this will be the calm before the storm.

Tris arrives in Gainesville, Virginia just after sunset on June 2, 1863, only to find that her regiment hasn't arrived. Sitting on the outskirts of town she finds a Union soldier who looks familiar to her.

"Bud, is that you?" she asks the soldier.

Bud opens his eyes and smiles hugely at the courier standing in front of him. "We dang Prior, I was beginin' to think somethin' happened to ya. What took ya so long gettin' here?"

"You've been waiting for me?"

"Well, yeah. Colonel sent me ahead to meet with ya, so ya knew what was happenin' since ya left. Where ya been?"

"I was held up by Colonel Eaton. He sent me to deliver some correspondence to a general south of his position then he made me rest before he would give Abraxas back to me."

"Well, ya probably needed to get some sleep."

"So what's happening?"

"The regiment should arrive by the mornin'. Then we're headed out immediately. Rebel Armies have been spotted through the Shenandoah Valley, they seem to be headed to the Mason Dixon."

Beatrice nods her head and smiles at her friend. "So do we have any orders, what do we do?"

"We wait. That's what I been doin' for a day and a half now. Just sittin' and waitin', it's a dang waste of time."

"Where do we sleep?"

"We got a room in the inn up the street. I reckon we could go get us some shuteye, who knows when we will again."

Beatrice agrees and the two soldiers go down the street to the inn. When Tris' head hits the pillow she immediately falls into a deep sleep. But instead of being filled with her normal nightmares, tonight it's filled with something else, the smiling face of a handsome soldier.

Tris is startled awake by the sound of Bud's voice.

"Come on, Prior. We gotta git movin'"

Beatrice sits up and rubs the sleep from her eyes. She adjusts her clothing and hat as she always does to hide whatever she has to hide. She stands and moves toward the door, following Bud down to the street.

They retrieve their horses, and begin their short ride to the edge of town to wait for Monroe and the rest of the regiment. When they arrive on the outskirts of town, they are met with the sound of galloping horses. Over the morning horizon, Beatrice sees the Union flag and a large group of horses barreling down on their position.

When the group is finally in clear eyeshot, she is able to make out the pleasant face of her colonel and friend Zeke.

When Zeke sees Beatrice sitting atop her huge steed, he's happy to have her back safe and sound. Although part of him had hoped that she would somehow decide to stay with Shauna, he knew she would never do that. She feels that her place is here, until she decides that she's done enough good, and helped enough people to make up for her families atrocities.

Zeke rides up to the soldiers that are sitting and waiting for their arrival. "Bud, thank you. You can move back to your position in the ranks." He then turns his attention to Beatrice. He gives her a warm smile that only she can see, "Prior, I see you found you way back to us. Any problems during your duties?"

"No sir. I have correspondence for you from Colonel Eaton and from Mrs. Monroe sir."

She hands the parcels over to her commander. "Well done, Prior. We will be headed out immediately. I assume Bud told you that Rebels were spotted traveling through the Shenandoah Valley going toward Pennsylvania?"

"Yes sir, he informed me that we would be headed out immediately."

"Very well then, join the ranks Prior," he says smiling and winking at her.

Zeke immediately opens his letter from his beloved Shauna. Lately their communication has been scarce due to his inability to send any of his couriers on any personal business. He misses her desperately, and according to her heartfelt letter, she feels the same.

When he opens the letter from Tobias, he's surprised by what he reads.

_My Dear Friend Zeke,_

_It was a pleasure to make the acquaintance of your beautiful cousin. She is quite striking. My reasons for writing this letter to you, is to let you know that I've asked her if it would be okay that I write her. She agreed, so I will be sending letters to her through you. I don't want any of the regulars to know that she is receiving communication from a colonel, it might raise suspicions…_

Zeke continues to read about how they used her to lure Uriah into a trap in order to force him south. Tobias also explains about his plans to meet her at Zeke's house so that he can meet her in a place that she is being forced to be something that she isn't.

He has concern about Beatrice allowing Tobias to write to her. It's odd considering all that she's been through. But he pushes his concerns for his cousin away. Now it is time to march ahead and try to cut Lee off before he reaches Pennsylvania.

* * *

Uriah gathers his troops together outside of Baltimore. They had intended on staying for several days, but when he received word that General Lee was pushing through the Shenandoah Valley toward Pennsylvania and that the Union was attempting to cut him off, he decided to set out to be nearer the action.

The morning after they arrive in Baltimore, they move out and begin their two day trek through the Virginian wilderness toward the Shenandoah Valley.

The trip is uneventful, traveling at night in secret and resting through the day in hidden caves and the occasional abandoned farm house along their way. They stop to hunt for game in the mornings and gather water from streams coming down from the Blue Ridge Mountain range.

* * *

Zeke leads his company to the south to try to cut Rebel troops off before they travel too far north. He along with three other Union companies converge on Brandy Station on June 8, 1863. When they see the full might of the Confederate Army coming through the valley, they are ordered to retreat back to the north where more Union troops will be laying in wait.

The night following their retreat, they make camp near Marshall. Here four other companies have gathered to make a stand against the Confederate Army. The colonels from each company gather together with General Hooker to receive orders for each of their companies.

Colonel Monroe, Colonel Eaton, Colonel Samuals, and Colonel Davis sit together in a tent with General Hooker going over maps and intelligence that they receive from their scouts.

"We will need to send out our fastest and best scout to gather more information. We will be converging with the enemy as we continue to travel north. We need to gather as much information about what we are going to be up against before we get into another situation like Brandy Station where we are outmanned," Hooker explains.

All of the generals look toward Zeke, they all know that he has the fastest and best scout in his company.

"General, it is Colonel Monroe who has the fastest scout available to us currently," Samuals says.

Zeke and Tobias look to each other with trepidation. They both know to whom they are referring, Beatrice.

"I don't know if it is such a good idea to send Prior out sir, he just returned from a four day stint of delivering correspondence to Colonel Eaton. His horse needs to rest," Zeke tries to reason.

"Nonsense Monroe, call him in here. He needs to leave out tonight," Hooker commands.

Zeke leaves the tent and finds Beatrice sitting with Junior and Bud, playing cards.

"Prior," he bellows, "I need for you to follow me."

Beatrice stands and follows her cousin toward the tent where she knows the other colonels and the general are waiting.

"What is this about?" she asks nervously.

Zeke doesn't respond, simply leading her to the tent where she will hear what she is going to be expected to do.

He enters the tent with Beatrice in tow. When she enters, she finds she is intimidated by all of the commanding officers staring at her. She solutes and stands firm at the entrance of the tent, waiting nervously until someone begins to speak.

"Prior is it?" Hooker asks.

"Yes sir."

"At ease soldier. We need for you to travel north ahead of the troops and gather information about the enemy. We need to know what we are going to be up against when we finally meet them," Hooker explains. "Are you up for this trip?"

She looks toward Zeke, then Tobias. She knows that Zeke would not want her to do this. He always likes to remind her that she is just a courier, not a scout. But apparently the General isn't aware of that.

"Yes sir, what do I need to do?"

"You will travel north and take inventory of the troops that you see and the weapons. You will then report back. You will have three days."

Hooker turns to the colonels, "Is there another that we could send with him?"

"There is not another horse in the Union Army that can keep up with Abraxas," Zeke explains. "They will only hold him back."

"That's not true, Bronte can do it," Tobias interjects.

"Who does this horse belong to?" Hooker asks.

"He's mine, sir."

Hooker looks at Tobias, "Eaton, you aren't a scout, you're a colonel."

"I know sir, but if we are to gauge the full scale of the Rebel mite, we should have more than one man out there."

Hooker looks at him and contemplates his words. "Very well then, saddle up gentlemen. And good luck."

Beatrice nods, solutes, and turns to leave. She is followed out of the tent by both Zeke and Tobias. Zeke grabs her arm and drags her to the woods, out of sight and earshot of the troops.

"You can't do this," Zeke complains quietly. "It's too dangerous. We'll send someone else, we'll have to let them take Abraxas."

She looks at him like he's insane, "Zeke you know as well as I do that no one can ride Abraxas but me, he won't let them."

"Well I don't like this, Beatrice. You shouldn't put yourself into danger like this, its reckless."

She smiles at Zeke and takes his hand. She speaks softly but firmly, "I'm doing this. If I can stop Lee from entering the north and wreaking havoc, the maybe I'll finally feel…" she trails off. She can't say the words that she's thinking. That maybe she'll finally feel like she's done enough good to undo all of the bad that her family did to so many people for so long.

Tobias looks at her confused. He has no idea why she would feel responsible for whatever it is that drives her to be here and risk her life. He looks to Zeke who has a grave look on his face.

She then turns to Tobias, "What are you thinking. You need to be here to lead your troops and you horse is no way as fast as Abraxas."

Tobias smirks, "He'll hold his own, trust me."

"Beatrice, please," Zeke pleads.

"Zeke, I'm doing this."

"Fine," Zeke barks at her. "Mount up soldier. Keep your eyes open and be alert. This is a war, Prior. Not a game."

She nods and solutes. She turns away and rushes to where her belongings sit.

Tobias looks to Zeke, surprised by his sudden change from loving, concerned cousin to commander.

"What the hell was that?"

"Tobias something you will learn something about Beatrice, she will do what she wants to do and there's no changing her mind And what exactly do you think you're doing?"

"I'm going to keep her safe, that's what I'm doing."

"No, what are you doing Tobias? You don't know her at all, so what do you think you're doing here?"

"Look Zeke, I'm not trying to do anything to hurt her. I just want to get to know her and try to keep her safe."

"I'm relying on you, Tobias."

"Just tell me one thing, what drives her like this?"

"I feel that it is her business to tell you if she wants. But I will tell you this, she feels like she needs to make up for atrocities that she was powerless to stop."

"What do you mean?"

"Her family has been involved in the slave trade and owning slaves for generations. It's something that she's always hated. That is one of the things that drive her. The rest, she will have to tell you if she wants to at some point."

Tobias nods and they walk back into the camp. He goes to his tent and gathers his things. When he gets to where the horses are being cared for, he finds Beatrice standing with Abraxas and Bronte feeding them sugar cubes. She looks so much smaller standing between the two enormous beasts. Bronte is almost as massive as Abraxas and his black coat is a stark contrast to the snow white color of Abraxas.

"You know, it's kind of interesting that his name is Bronte. Do you know where that name comes from?" she asks when Tobias gets close enough.

"I certain hope so, I named him. It's the name of one of the Sun God's horses."

"Do you know what Abraxas is?"

"Yes, it is another of the Sun God's horses."

She smiles at him, "Well, we best be going. We have a lot of work to do."

* * *

Uriah leads his troops west past the valley and move into the Blue Ridge Mountains to stay out of sight of both Union and Confederate regulars. They stop just outside of Winchester. They've seen a large group of Union soldiers to the south, moving north just ahead of the Rebel forces coming up the valley. If he's not mistaken, when the two armies finally converge, it will be in Winchester.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

They move through the darkness without making a sound. The Virginia countryside lit only by the light of the full moon casting its eerie luminous glow through the forest. So ominous the shadows cast by the tress in this light, like silent specters dancing all around. Even the horses appeared other worldly in this light, seemingly floating through the mist among the trees.

The air is silent but for the sound of the creatures of the night. There's no sign of the battles that have been waging since the fighting began so many months ago. Only the purity of nature can be heard here among the trees. It's beautiful and frightening.

They continue silently through the thick wilderness, coming close to yet another Rebel camp. The only thing that shields them from sight is the thick underbrush and the arrogance of the men standing guard. They don't believe any Yankee would have nerve enough to travel through the untamed forest at night. They don't believe any Yankee to be skilled enough to know these woods so well.

Rain begins to fall, masking any noise the amazingly agile horses may make in the undergrowth on the forest floor. It also contributes to the menacing look of the shadows around them. She's glad to have someone with her, this would have been far more frightening if she were here alone.

Beatrice slowly rides forward toward the edge of the Rebel camp. Silently praying that no one notices her so close to the invisible circle that surrounds the camp. It is that circle that soldiers rely on to keep them safe throughout the night. It's like a magic barrier keeping the enemy out and keeping them safe inside. Soldiers don't believe that they will be harmed in their sleep, almost like an unspoken rule among the opposing armies.

Tobias hangs back and watches over her. It was decided that it would be best if she moves forward by herself to check this camp to estimate how many soldiers there are and if there are any large scale weapons among them. This particular camp seems to be an infantry unit, there are no large weapons, and there are a vast number of tents and sleeping men lying on the ground getting drenched in the rain. After she estimates there to be around fifteen hundred men in this unit alone, she turns silently and returns to where Tobias is waiting for her to return.

She doesn't say a word as she guides Abraxas to stand next to him. They silently agree that it is time to move along. The morning sun will be cresting in the horizon in the coming hours, it would be best for them to be out of sight of the Rebel forces before they can be seen.

On the other side of the forest, at the base of the Blue Ridge Mountain range, they locate a large cave in the hills. It is large enough to hide both of them and their horses from prying eyes. Before the sun rises in the East, they allow the steeds to graze for a short time near the cave opening while they both eat some of the rations that they brought with them. Neither of them talks, not wanting to break the silence of the early morning stillness. The nocturnal creatures are beginning to find their nests and go to sleep for the day, while the creatures that scurry about during the day are still sleeping.

They gather their horses and return to the sanctity of their hidden cave. They will sleep for a while and wait until dusk before they begin to trudge around and try to figure out what the Union is up against. So far they have located five different units within several miles of one another. Each unit has between one to two thousand soldiers in each. There have been what appear to be two infantry units, one large artillery unit, one small artillery unit, and one cavalry unit in the vicinity, and they haven't finished with their mission yet.

Once inside of the cave and hidden from the outside world, they set their sleeping bags on the ground and ready themselves for sleep. Beatrice does something that she would never do in front of most soldiers, she takes off her hat and lets her hair cascade down her back. It feels good to allow herself this little freedom. She also takes off the oversized coat that hides all of her femininity, revealing the gray shirt beneath.

Tobias smiles at her small gestures, he knows that she's only allowing herself these freedoms because he knows her secret and accepts her for who she is. She could never let her fellow soldiers see her like this. It would change the way they look at her and treat her, it would also get her arrested for impersonating a soldier.

After some time, Tobias finally breaks the silence. "So Tris, I was wondering why Zeke is so protective of you. I don't think he's comfortable with me writing you."

"I've known Zeke for quite some time. When he married my cousin, we became very close. And when I ran away from my father, he took me in and cared for me. He knows about me and he knows my life and secrets."

"What about the other day when you zoned out? It seemed like you were in a completely other place and time."

She looks down, she doesn't know what is compelling her, but she feels like she can tell him some things about herself.

"I was thinking about the day that I lost my brother, and ultimately my best friend, older brother, and my love for my family," she stops and takes a deep breath. It takes her back to that day so long ago. "You know, I don't usually tell people about things like this. I don't share this part of me with anyone really, only a few people in the world know about what happened that day."

"I understand if you don't want to tell me, Tris. You don't have to share anything with me that you don't want."

"That's the thing. I want to share this with you for some reason. I don't know why though. It's quite odd," she takes another deep breath as Tobias looks at her. He's nervous about what she is about to tell him. From the looks of the way she holds herself and the lost and terrified look in her eyes, it's a horrible experience that she probably relives over and over in her nightmares.

"It was about four years ago, when I was sixteen. My parents were having one of the many gatherings that they had so often on the plantation. My father was very generous to the people that were like him and my mother was too terrified of his temper to behave in any way that he would disapprove. An older man in his thirties had asked for my hand in marriage, and my father agreed without giving me the opportunity to oppose it. I was to behave like my mother, do as I was told and never ask questions.

Once I found out what my father had done, I ran and hid in my room. When someone came to my door I thought it would be my mother or one of the servants checking on me. Instead it was him. He had his way with me until I was half dead, bruised and battered. My best friend Christina heard something coming from my room and knew something bad was happening in there. She went to get my brothers, Caleb and William.

When they burst into the room, they found me naked and bleeding on the bed and the man who had ravaged my body standing over me. Caleb lunged at him with a knife and inflicted a wound that would have been mortal, but not before he had the chance to shove a knife in Caleb's neck and killing him almost instantly.

When our parents came to see what was happening, Christina was covering me and William was holding our dying brother. They blamed me for everything. That night they hung the man for killing Caleb. They whipped Christina for interfering by going to get my brothers to help me. And about a year later William left for the north to go to university. From that day on my father never spoke one word to me, he didn't look at me, or even acknowledge my existence in any way.

When the war broke out I started helping the slaves that lived on our plantation to escape to the Underground Railroad. Just before I left I helped Christina and her family to escape also. Finally one night after witnessing my father brutally beat my mother, I mounted Abraxas and we took off to the north to find my cousin."

He looks at the woman sitting before him, he knows of how women are treated by many men, especially in the south. They are looked upon as objects to be owned, much like the slaves. Women's purpose is to have children, raise them, and keep the house slaves in order. They only hold status slightly higher than that of the slaves. If you aren't a white male in the south then your life is basically worthless. Even in the north women aren't treated as well as men.

Tris starts to stare out of the cave into the rainy night as silent tears slide down her cheeks. She hasn't allowed herself to cry about this in a long time. Opting instead to drown her sorrow by risking her life to make a difference in this war.

"Tris?"

"Yes?" she says slowly.

"Why do you do this to yourself? You've been through so much."

"I'm trying to make amends."

"For what?"

"For the sins of my ancestors."

He reaches out and takes her hand in his. She's reluctant to allow this show of affection, but then she relaxes. He holds her hand in both of his for a long time. As the morning sun shines new light into the dingy cave, he can see the shadows of the past in her eyes.

She pulls away from him and lies on the hard, unyielding ground, "We better get some sleep."

He simply nods and lies down next to her. He wants to comfort her, to let her know that he's there for her, but he doesn't.

* * *

Zeke sits in his tent tense and worried. The morning has just risen and the bugle call to wake the sleeping soldiers has yet to sound. It's a bright morning in spite of the steady rain fall that kept its grip on the night.

The sun breathes new life into the late spring morning. Soon summer will be upon them. It was a time that he and Shauna had always looked forward to. Sitting in the summer sun and sipping lemon aide while discussing what they were going to do with the extra hours of sunlight. Now he sits here wondering if he will ever see his beloved wife again.

His mind drifts to Tris and Tobias. He's amazed that Tobias volunteered to go on this mission with her. Most soldiers claim to be dauntless warriors ready to lay their life down, but most aren't what they claim to be. But Tobias didn't hesitate. He was willing to put aside his colonel stripes and stand with the brave girl who has apparently captured his heart to make sure she was safe. It was one of the most altruistic gestures that he's ever seen.

How in the middle of a war does one manage to find love? He's not sure how Tris feels, it's far too soon for her to allow someone into her heart. It took him years to gain her trust. But for Tobias, this is definitely something that could easily turn into something more.

He slowly gets out of his cot and readies himself for the day's activities. Today they will march the units northwest toward the valley and toward the enemy. They hope to be in position to attack the Rebels when Tris and Tobias return from their mission.

He folds up his tent and cot and straps his belongings to his mare, ready to move on to another camp and possibly the fight that will determine whether he's going to be returning to Shauna some day or not. Every battle has the possibility of changing his life one way or another. He just hopes that if it's his time to go, that it will be over quickly.

* * *

Uriah guides his troops out of hiding and toward one of the Confederate camps. They've been holdup for several nights and now it is time to count themselves among the soldiers ready to fight.

They move slowly down the valley to one of the camps. They are eight thousand men strong, waiting for orders about what they are going to do next. Lee assures his troops that attacking the Yankees in their own territory will greatly increase their chances for victory. It's enough to convince every Rebel to keep going and fight.

"Who goes there?" the guard announces as Uriah and his soldiers come upon one of the Rebel camps.

"Captain Uriah Monroe, Virginia Battery number 7, cavalry."

The guards solute the officer and look at him with reverence. Everyone knows about Captain Monroe and his soldiers and they all fear them. There aren't many men in this war that actually enjoy killing, but that is exactly who these guys are, killing machines. "Please proceed Captain Monroe."

They enter the camp and find a surprising atmosphere. The soldiers are surprisingly light and appear well rested for men who have been fighting a war for almost two full years now. The soldiers are sitting around fires and cooking food, playing cards, talking and socializing. Some are honing their skills with their bayonets and knives, some are cleaning their pistols. The one thing they all have in common is, none of them looks to be older than twenty-five and none seem to realize that they are about to fight a battle.

"As you can see, Captain, these men have yet to see any action. They are recent recruits to the Confederate Army," says an officer walking up to Uriah.

"They'll be in for a rude awakening when the bullets begin to fly or they lose a limb to a cannon ball," Uriah says in a matter of fact tone.

"You may indeed be correct," Colonel Daniels says, "but they are fresh bodies, and that is what we need to win this war."

Uriah contemplates this comment for a moment but doesn't voice his opposing opinion about adding new recruits to their ranks.

As night starts to settle on the valley again, Uriah is asked to stand guard tonight. He agrees but is reluctant, as a captain he feels it no longer is his duty to perform these types of tasks.

* * *

Beatrice stirs from her dreams,waking at the sound of a whinny from one of the horses. She looks around taking in her surroundings. Dusk is falling again and it is almost time for them to finish their mission. There's just one more area that they need to scope out before returning to their camp and reporting what they've found. She looks to where Tobias' sleeping bag lies empty and then looks around the cave for any sign of him.

The darkness falling over the land outside compiled with the gloom surrounding her, forces Beatrice out of the cave. She doesn't feel the need to hide herself in this place, there's no one here that will see who she really is. She walks outside, blond hair blowing in the wind and feeling slightly chilled in the coolness of the spring evening. Once she emerges she finds Tobias leaning on a large bolder just outside of the cave entrance, watching the horses graze. He looks so relaxed and comfortable in this place. She realizes that she knows nothing about this man. For some reason she was compelled to tell him about one of the most horrific times in her life, yet he's shared nothing of his own with her.

She walks slowly toward where he's standing so she doesn't startle him. One thing you learn as a soldier, never sneak up on an armed man. Especially one as well trained and decorated as a colonel.

Tobias stands outside of the cave letting the horses graze and do what they need to do. The evening sun is setting and the forest is alive with the sounds of animals scurrying about. The late spring brings with it a beautiful clear blue sky, but just beyond the horizon, a storm is brewing. The churning grey clouds off in the distance bring warning of severe weather in the near future.

The color of the stormy sky reminds him of Beatrice's stormy colored eyes and all of the pain she hides behind them. But that's not all that's there though. There is a fire within her that he's never seen in another woman. Not even his mother had the fire that he sees within Tris. She's intelligent, strong, and independent but not overbearing; she's passionate but not domineering. She's the kind of woman that would light up a room and make men quake under her gaze. She's exactly the kind of woman he's always wanted to meet, but he never expected her to exist. Strong independent women are hard to come by.

Growing up in rural Pennsylvania he was only really around his mother and the girls he encountered were farmers daughters and weren't afraid to work, but they were uneducated and happy to resume their role as the wife and caregiver. Once he moved to the city most women he encountered were wealthy compared to the farmers and laborers wives who lived on the outskirts of the city. These wealthy women feigned fainting spells to get the attention of soldiers in their wake. They would often portray themselves as weak and in need of being taken care of. Many soldiers and other men of stature in the city took to those women. They seemed to like the traditional gender roles that society expected, where women are the submissive and men are the dominant in a relationship.

That is something that Tobias never liked about being in the city. Once he left his parent's farm and enlisted in the Union Army when he was seventeen, he hated being around those kinds of women. His mother was a strong woman and the head of the household and she made sure her only son appreciated women as equals. After being diagnosed with tuberculosis and dying in her late thirties, he lived with his father but even that didn't last long. He was a drunken man who couldn't live without a woman in his life to take care of him. After Tobias' mother died, his father became worse, even letting the farm go to waste the season following her death because he couldn't do anything for himself. The only thing he was good at was blaming Tobias for everything that went wrong in his life.

Six months after Tobias' mother's death, his father brought another woman to live with them. They had gotten married without Tobias even knowing about it. He resented this woman, she was abusive and cruel. Her physical and emotional abuse compiled with his father's indifference infuriated Tobias. He didn't care about what happened to him, what infuriated him and were her constant belligerent comments about his mother. The thing that finally caused him to walk out and to never return was when she threw a pot of boiling water at him when he returned late from helping on a neighboring farm. She wanted him to do the work that his father was supposed to be responsible for and when he returned she was furious and threw the scalding water at him.

At the age of sixteen he left the farm, never to return. He found his way to Philadelphia and performed odd jobs for people so that he could afford a room to sleep in and food to eat. When he turned seventeen, he enlisted in the army of the Potomac. He quickly moved up the ranks. His intelligence and even temper made him a favorite among his superiors. It was here that he met Zeke and they quickly became friends. Now, five years later, he finds himself in a place he never anticipated. It's bizarre and completely unexpected; he never thought he'd meet the perfect girl while in the army in the middle of a war.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The storm moves in over the mountain range and settles over the valley, blocking out the light of the full moon. The rain tonight is much harder and more miserable than last night. Lightning flashes across the sky as the thunder rumbles through the valley, causing Beatrice tremble slightly. She's not sure if it's the cold rain that's settled over them, drenching them to the bone or if it's the loud cracks of thunder that make her shudder, but this night feels hostile.

Beatrice and Tobias ride forward through the forest, keeping hidden from man and beast. They continue to push toward Stratsburg where they believe the next group of Rebel soldiers to be camped. Tonight they have found two more camps, one unit was small artillery the other infantry. Tobias believes the group at Stratsburg will be the largest and most heavily armed. He also believes that this is where they will finally meet some trouble on this trip. He desperately hopes he's wrong.

Although the information gathering during this trip should help the Union gauge how they wish to proceed, the mission itself has been rather uneventful. They have managed to spy on seven different units with approximately seven to eight thousand total men. If he's correct, this last unit will be at least two thousand men strong and will hold large artillery.

They continue to move through the torrential down pour that accompanies the thunder and lightning that have bombarded them through their travels. No matter how hard they try to penetrate the gloom and mist that engulfs them, neither can see anything. Every flash of lightning transforms trees into threatening looking creatures, making their travels seem even more ominous. Even the horses are on edge. Beatrice can feel that Abraxas even seems a bit nervous, shying away from tree limbs that resemble ghostly arms reaching out to grab them.

Tobias continues to push forward, even though he can feel Tris' apprehension to continue on. This is what he's always been good at, keeping calm and keeping his eye on what he has to do. He's always been the level headed, goal driven officer who is able to accomplish what many others can't. So instead of allowing her to give in to her trepidation, he forces her to move on, knowing that she won't ask to stop or to abandon their mission.

When they are just outside of Stratsburg, the rain finally slows to a drizzle and the moon begins to peak through cracks in the clouds, making for an even more menacing environment. They continue on a few hundred more feet until they reach the crest of a hill looking down into the valley below. From this point, they find their destination. In front of them is the largest camp they've happened upon in the past two days. They can see that this is indeed a heavy artillery unit, but not only that, there are cavalry and infantry among the soldiers sleeping below.

"One of us should get closer," Beatrice says.

"I should go," Tobias whispers in response.

"No, I'm faster and it's my job." And before he even has the chance to argue, she's gone, slowly descending the path that leads straight to the camp.

He watches as the ghostly white horse seems to float through the mist that has settled on the ground around them. He can see why she and Abraxas would look so intimidating to soldiers who didn't know them. They look like wraiths descending on unsuspecting mortals, intent on draining their life force.

Beatrice slowly guides Abraxas down the path toward the camp below. She's frozen and shivering from the rain and cold wind that accompanies it. Behind her the scream of an animal who's probably been caught by its predator echoes through the forest forcing her to tremble a little. She pulls the horse to a stop to listen as the sound dies away leaving nothing but an eerie silence in its wake. Suddenly she feels a sense of danger around her. She looks back to where she came from, hoping that the sight of Tobias would calm her and make her be able to focus. But from here, she can no longer see him. Her titan sitting upon his steed has been swallowed up by the early morning fog that's come over the land.

In spite of her sudden need to go back and find Tobias, she continues forward into the gloom, hoping that she doesn't happen upon any soldiers lying in wait for intruders. Just as she guides Abraxas out of the brush, she hears the sound of a trigger hammer clicking. It resounds like a thunderclap in the stillness of the night.

"What's your business here?" a low and sinister voice speaks from the pitch blackness surrounding her. The voice is close and familiar. Like a voice from a dream that she can't remember. It carries an air of authority in it, like someone who is used to giving orders.

She quickly scans her surroundings, trying to find some way of escape. But there is nothing but the hill and forest to her right and a cliff to her left.

"Who are you?" the voice bellows again, this time with more annoyance present in its tone. But this time she's able to identify the voice. It's Uriah, Zeke's brother and the enemy who's been trying to capture her for months, and he's only thirty feet in front of her at most.

Beatrice again scans her surroundings for the best way to disappear. She has a shot at entering the forest and disappearing among the trees, but she's afraid that Uriah's legendary aim will get her before she can completely disappear. She has no doubt that he would shoot first and ask questions later.

"I'm a couriuh with the 1st Battery Virginia, suh. There been Yankees in these woods, suh. I'm just tryin' to git to the noth to deliveuh the lettuh," she explains trying to turn the accent on heavily so he would believe her to be from the deep south.

"Where's your escort, soldier?" Uriah asks sharply.

"My hous is fresh, suh. He outran um."

"Proceed with your hands in the air," Uriah commands.

Terrified, Beatrice moves Abraxas slowly forward. They are still out of sight of the captain in the dark and foggy morning. But she knows that as soon as he gets a glimpse of the snow white horse, he's going to fire upon her without question. She considers shooting him first, before he can get a chance, but that would bring out the entire unit, and there appears to be about two thousand of them camped here.

"I'm lookin' for my unit, suh," she says while she's still out of site in the gloom. "I believe there's Yanks behind me, suh. I passed a scouting group just a short while ago."

"My men are dug in just over this hill, its fine," he says.

She continues to move slowly toward him. Has he made out the color of the horse yet? Can he see her sitting atop of the beast? She needs to do something now before he sees her and shoots her. A few more paces and she sees a clear path into the woods where she can disappear.

"Behind you!" she shouts. She plunges her spur into Abraxas and he launches himself into the woods.

A shot rings out from behind her, and then ahead of her another shot rings out. She shouts, "Forward Third New York!" choosing a regiment that she hopes he wouldn't want to meet in the dark woods.

She continues to gallop hard into the forest, trying to hear if he's pursuing her or not. She's also trying to hear Tobias. She knows that he was the one that fired back toward Uriah. She hopes that he didn't get hit by the rogue bullet that flew into the forest.

When she finally slows Abraxas down outside of their hidden cave, she looks around hoping to see Tobias behind her. She sits and waits for the man that tried to protect her when she was clearly in trouble. After what seems like forever, she starts to panic because he's not emerging from the woods and there is no sign of him anywhere near.

* * *

Tobias begins to worry about where she is when she's gone for a long time. He slowly guides his steed down the path toward where she disappeared from his sight so long ago. When he gets to the edge of the woods he sees a scene that he'd hoped he wouldn't. She's guiding her horse toward a soldier in gray with his pistol trained in her direction. The fog is so thick between them that he doesn't believe that either has a clear view of the other. But from his vantage point, he can see both of them clearly.

He hears her shout that there are soldiers behind him. He flinches just enough for her to plunge her horse into the woods before he can get a shot off at her. Hearing her shout, pretending there's a unit lying in wait, he fires toward Uriah, just to make it more realistic.

He immediately turns Bronte toward where Tris burst into the forest, but she's already gone, disappeared into the darkness. He moves through the forest slowly trying to see if Uriah was going to pursue or if he wasn't going to take chances with being outmanned by the fictitious regiment waiting in the dark.

Once he decides that Uriah isn't following, he begins to make his way through the gloom, hoping that she will be back at the safety of the cave.

* * *

She dismounts and leans on the bolder that he had been leaning on just a few hours ago and she listens to the stillness of the night. She watched, waited, and listened as the thudding of her fast beating heart slammed against her chest and thundered in her ears. Fear and worry well up inside of her as seconds turn to minutes and minutes continue to pile up as she waits for him to emerge from the forest.

After about thirty minutes, the terror and worry that she got him shot that he was gone and it was all her fault overwhelms her. She drags herself up and mounts her horse, she's going to find him no matter what. She guides the animal to enter the forest again so that she can try to find her friend, but just as she is about to enter the forest, Tobias emerges unharmed.

When he sees her atop her horse he breathes a sigh of relief. He was so worried that something happened to her.

"Take him inside the cave," he orders. "They may be coming through the forest to try to find us."

She quickly dismounts and pulls the horse inside the cave. She is followed immediately by Bronte and Tobias. They sit together in silence, waiting to hear if they are being followed or not. After some time, they both breathe a sigh of relief at their luck today.

"Well, I guess it's safe to say that Uriah's squad has assumed ranks with the Rebel regulars," Tobias says quietly.

"Where did you go? I was afraid something had happened to you."

"I took several detours to get here. I didn't want anyone following me to you."

"Well I was scared to death that you were hurt or worse. Don't ever do that to me again," she says firmly.

He smiles at her, hopeful that her worry was because she feels something for him. "Well, we should rest a bit. We need to get back to camp by tomorrow evening."

She nods and stretches out on her sleeping bag. Tobias lies next to her on his. He stares up to the cave ceiling. The blackness seems to seep throughout the cave and envelop him. But then he feels her stir next to him, her eyes piercing through the gloom of the cave.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," he tells her.

"Well, I told you about what drives me. What drives you? What makes you such a good soldier and good commander?"

He thinks about this question for a while before answering. "I guess what drives me is my desire to want to be a better man than my father. He's a drunk who can't do anything for himself. He was always worthless. If it weren't for my mother we would have starved when I was a kid. He wasn't very nice to my mother either. When he would get drunk he would scream and throw things. Don't get me wrong, he was nothing like what you grew up with, but he was bad enough."

He pauses for a moment and takes a deep breath. He hasn't talked about his mother for a long time. He continues, "My mother passed away when I was sixteen from tuberculosis. After she died, I had to go out and find odd jobs just to make enough money so we wouldn't starve. He stopped caring for the farm and let all of the crops die, and he completely stopped talking to me. Then about six months after she died, he brought home a new wife. The woman was horrible. She would yell and scream at me. The last straw was when she got mad at me for coming home late after working on one of the nearby farms. I walked into the house and she screamed at me and then threw a pot of boiling water at me.

After that I packed my things and left for Philadelphia. I worked odd jobs until I turned seventeen when I joined the army. My mother was the daughter of a general. She taught me discipline and honor and to respect all people, no matter gender or color. She believed that every person's life has worth. She's what makes me a good soldier and commander. Everything I do is to make her proud."

Beatrice listens as he describes his life and all he's been through.

"You mother sounds like a very strong woman," she says. "My mother could have been strong. But she was brought up to be a proper southern woman who follows her husband no matter what."

"She was a strong woman. I've only ever met one other woman who is stronger than my mother was. I never thought it possible, but there is one."

She looks toward him in the gloom and can just make out his startling blue eyes. "Who?"

"You, Beatrice. You are the strongest woman that I've ever met."

"I don't know about that. I just do what I have to do to survive."

"No you don't. You do what you think is right, no matter the consequences. It is both admirable and infuriating."

"Infuriating?"

"Yes, because you don't need to put yourself into harm's way just to try to make up for your family. God's not keeping score, you know."

She looks back to the ceiling and doesn't respond to this. She knows that he's right, there's no one making sure she fixes everything that her family's done over the decades. But she still feels compelled to help people.

"What if I still need to help people?"

"That is a much more noble cause than just trying to fix the mistakes of those too ignorant to care about what was right and wrong," he responds.

* * *

_He slipped through my hands again. That damned rider his beast has yet again slipped through my fingers and has gotten away, _Uriah thinks to himself. He's furious that he didn't pursue harder that he didn't go and rid himself of the menace that mocks him with every breath he takes. Uriah stares into the gloom of the forest. There's no way he was alone tonight. A single shot came from somewhere within the woods and it wasn't from the scout's pistol.

He goes into the camp and finds his tent. After the long night of patrolling, and then losing his man who's been a bane on his existence for quite some time now, all he wants to do is sleep away his failure.

He lies on his sleeping bag and waits for sleep to overtake him, but before he has a chance to drift off, someone comes to his tent.

"Captain Monroe," the voice announces from outside.

"Yes?" Uriah barks in annoyance.

"General Rodes would like to talk to you, now sir."

He sighs and gets out of his tent and walks over to meet with the general.

"Come in Captain," Rodes says.

Uriah enters the tent and solutes General Rodes. He stands inside of the tent looking at the general expectantly, trying to hide his annoyance with being forced to get up before he was able to get even a moment's rest.

"Captain Monroe I understand there was a Union scout near the camp?"

"Yes sir. I pursued him into the woods, but lost the trail soon after. He wasn't alone. Shots were fired toward me when I fired upon the scout."

"Well, now the Union knows what we have going on here, Captain. What do you intend to do about it?"

"Sir?"

"We need to assure the success of our mission. We cannot allow some rogue scout to compromise the integrity of what we are doing here. If that scout is seen again, I want him shot on sight."

"Yes sir." Uriah says.

"You're dismissed."

He solutes and leaves the tent annoyed with both the Union scout and the general. How dare he tell him what needs to be done. It's Uriah and his soldiers that have been doing what needs to be done throughout this entire war so far. It is he who always manages to have to do the dirty work. He's no stranger to murdering Union soldiers when they are at their most vulnerable.

He thinks back to a few weeks ago when the scout had him in his clutches. He could have dispatched Uriah then and he didn't. This action is what confuses him about the scout.

He retires back to his tent and immediately falls into a restless sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Night settles over the land once again. After the storms of the past two nights, this night is clear and the light of the moon illuminates the forest around them. The stars in the sky flicker and dance and the waning moon hovers like a beacon to all who dare travel by its light.

They trudge silently through the darkness, neither of them dares speak for fear that the conversation from the morning will come back and neither of them is ready for another such conversation. He told her she was strong and that he admired her for her strength and courage, but he also told her that she was reckless and shouldn't take risks the way she does. The thing is, part of her agrees. She's never looked at what she does as reckless until she met him, but something about him makes her feel like she should be more careful.

She continues to think about his words and why they have the effect on her that they have. It's nothing that she hasn't heard from Zeke before. He's always practically begging her to stop taking risks and to stop the charade, to return to Bethesda with Shauna and wait out the war in safety. But she doesn't do it, she just snickers at him like he's being ridiculous. But when Tobias says the same things, she suddenly feels herself listening to him and wanting nothing more than to do what she can to appease him. No matter how much she wants to assuage his fears, she can't. She has to see this through, for her personal sanity.

They continue forward and when they emerge from the forest, they both urge their steeds to let loose. The gait they take is quick, and the feel of the horses' muscles under their riders says that they desperately need to be able to let loose. Both Tobias and Beatrice feel their horses' need and without a word urge the horses into a full gallop. The speed of the massive steeds is unmatched by any other horse that either has ever seen. The two horses fly over the land together, moving as one unit even though they are unattached. It's like the two horses belong together, taking energy from one another, feed off of the other's power and drive. Almost as though one is incomplete without the other.

Tobias has never felt this force with Bronte before. The power the steed produces now is amazing and somewhat intimidating. He looks to the soldier next to him. She's as one with the horse, moving with him like she is a part of him, and extension of his body and power. She looks free flying across the land on the majestic stallion. She looks like on her horse, she could go fast enough to escape her past, her fears, and everything that drives her to be careless with her life.

* * *

Zeke sits mounted on his mare atop of the hillside that lies just above the Union encampment, pacing and searching for any sign of the riders that set out four days ago. If they accomplished their task without incident, they should have returned by now. Even with rest and the rough terrain, they should be back by now. Hell, he expected them back yesterday. The other officers don't seem concerned, but they don't have ties to these two people. She is his family, and Tobias is his friend, the only real one he has beyond Shauna and Beatrice.

One of the soldiers rides up the hill toward him looking grim and sorrowful. "Any sign of them, soldier?" Zeke asks.

"Nothing sir. If they are coming in from the direction that we anticipate, they should have passed Jenkin's Mill, and there's been no sign of them there."

_Where could they be?_ Zeke wonders while rubbing his face in worry and frustration. They received word that Uriah moved in from the east and was moving toward the Rebel regulars. What if he caught up with them along the way, what if he found her? He would kill her on sight for all of her interference in his plans of the past months.

"There were the storms, sir. The one last night would have rendered even the most skilled rider incapable," the private offered.

Zeke knows he's just trying to placate the situation and Zeke's nerves, but Zeke also knows these two riders. Neither of them would let storm nor darkness prevent them from performing the tasks for which they were responsible. It's one of the reasons that he knows these two people were made for one another. They are persistent, obstinate, and infuriatingly indomitable in the face of adversity. Neither would allow themselves to be held back by what nature has to offer.

Suddenly from the base of the hill, one of the men shouts. Zeke turns to see the soldier pointing in the opposite direction of where he was looking. The gaze of he and the other soldiers scattered across the hill move in the direction that the soldier gestures. They fix your eyes on the pair of horses and their riders galloping at full speed over the pass only two hundred yards away. _Thank you Lord, they're safe_.

His relief quickly turn to horror when a shot is fired from somewhere behind the pair who has already covered half the distance between themselves and the rest of the soldiers. The angry bark of the fieldpiece echoed across the valley as the forest across from them erupts in a firestorm of bullets. Zeke watches as the area where he just saw his beloved friends emerge from explodes with smoke and the flame from ignited gun power. Every man sits and watches as they all instinctively realize that the blasts from those weapons are focused on the pair riding toward them faster than any creatures should be able to travel.

"To horse, men!" Zeke shouts, urging his mare forward and standing high so he can be seen above the smoke. He tries desperately to see the figures that emerged from the forest that brought him such relief just moments ago. They are now lost in the firestorm of bullets and gunpowder smoke spewing across the valley.

"Alert the troops and tell the sharpshooters to take out as many of them as they can!" Zeke shouts. All around guns are already blazing, returning fire from the ridges above the forest edge. Through the barrage of bullets and smoke, it's impossible to see if the pair that was galloping for their very lives were able to get through unscathed. And now as the sunlight shines down from the clear morning sky, it manages to tint the smoke a crimson color that resembles that of blood.

Zeke waits with baited breath as he tries to will the mammoth horses and their skilled riders to materialize through the smoke and haze of the now violent valley. As much as he tries, he can't conjure the image from just moments ago of them emerging from the forest and coming toward him. He waits as the continuous barrage of bullets pierce the air, flooding the valley with more smoke from gunfire and smoldering trees.

Suddenly from within the smoke there appeared to be movement. Two large masses moving through the smoke. Zeke knew from the size that it was the horses, but when they came in more clearly, he could see that one of them was riderless. All of the men around him let out a collective groan at the sight of the riderless horse.

Tobias had Abraxas' reigns, he was crouched low on Bronte and seemed to be guiding Abraxas forward with him. Zeke searched frantically for Beatrice. If she's hurt or worse he would never forgive himself. How could he let her go into this war like that? And how did Tobias let something happen to her when he promised that he would protect her. Anger floods his chest as the horses move slowly out of the smoke and closer to the base of the hill where Zeke stands.

The battle still wages below, troops emerging from the forest in pursuit while other troops appear from the valley to cut off the Rebel attack. Union sharpshooters from the hill tops above fire upon the Rebels trying to deter them from coming any closer. And still Tobias moves the horses ever closer to where Zeke stands motionless, trying not to breakdown.

* * *

Uriah stands below at the edge of the forest, mounted atop his charcoal gray steed. He watches as his band of murderous soldiers attacks the Yankee troops without fear of concern for their own lives.

They had caught up with and pursued the two Yankee riders that has managed to escape his grasp the night before. He was surprised to find that one of the riders was the infamous ghost horse and his daring rider. It infuriated him to find that yet again he allowed the reckless rider to escape.

As their prey emerged from the forest, they spread themselves along the edge of the forest. Using the trees as shields, they sprayed a torrent of bullets into the valley toward them. He had no doubt that they would be able to finally rid themselves of their enemy and his accomplice.

But as he looked to the top of the hillside he saw a person that he never expected to see again. His brother sits on his horse atop of one of the hills surrounding the valley. He lets out a bellow, letting the Union troops know to begin to fire. Seeing his brother here, momentarily causes him to freeze. And in that moment, all hell breaks loose.

One of his Rebel soldiers emerges from his hiding place behind the trees and moves into the open to engage the enemy. Then several other follow until they are all openly fighting the Yankee regulars. His commands to retreat back into the woods are pointless as they go unheard below the thunderous sound of guns firing all around. His only hope is that they will not all be killed and that the bane of his existence will be caught in the middle of the bullets flying all around.

* * *

The closer Tobias gets with the animals, the more dread Zeke begins to feel. It's like all of the oxygen has been sucked out of the atmosphere as the realization that Beatrice might actually be gone forever and there's nothing that he can do about it. Sadness and despair begin to overtake him just as one of the soldiers with a spyglass points at them. "I'll be damned, there he is!"

As if by magic, Beatrice appears on the side of Abraxas closest to Tobias. She's crouched low hiding behind the huge expanse of the massive horse. He's seen her perform this trick before, balancing herself on oe stirrup and rolling herself into a ball to hide behind the beast.

Zeke lets out a breath that he didn't realize he had been holding the entire time that he's watched Tobias moving toward him. He curses and applauds her bravery and foolishness at once.

Fearing that they are still not out of the range of the Rebels, Zeke commands the troops forward, "Push them back into the forest, men!"

He turns to one of the soldiers nearest him, "Frazier, ride down and help them."

The hailstorm of bullets still fly but now with Frazier's help, Tobias and Beatrice are out of range. Just when Zeke begins to feel some relief, the gunfire below seems to increase as the Rebels see Beatrice rise from the side of her horse and come into view.

Zeke watches as his orders are followed and his men march forward to intercept the Rebel forces. Union troops march out from around all sides of the valley, forcing the Confederates back into the forest, to their only escape.

* * *

Seeing the Union forces materialize all around, Uriah calls for a cease-fire and a full retreat. When he looks up to where his brother still stands, commanding his forces, he can't help but wonder what might have been. They were once so close and they always had one another's back, but when Zeke condemned the idea of a Confederate State, their once close relationship quickly dissolved. He watches at the two horses and one rider near where Zeke is waiting. Then he sees that the scout has emerged from the side of his horse, safe and untouched by his attack.

"Damn that scoundrel!" Uriah growls as he stares at the riders in disbelief. He's heard of Tobias Eaton, the larger of the two riders. He knows of his unmatched bravery and of his audacious feats in battle. But this other rider, this boy, there's no way a boy should have the ability to rush through a firestorm like that with only foolishness and fortitude to shield him.

"Damn, that boy's got no sense or somethin' cap'n. There ain't no way he or the colonel should've made it through that."

Uriah doesn't respond. He just continues to stare as the two riders climb the hillside, the long strides of their steeds making the trip seem almost effortless. He watches at they are greeted by Zeke, a brotherly show of affection for his soldier and his fellow colonel that makes Uriah's stomach churn for just a moment. But the thing is, they have both chosen sides, it's just unfortunate that they've chosen different sides and will never again be brothers. "I rather agree that this particular rider has no sense at all," he responds with loathing. He turns to his soldiers who are waiting for a command from him, "Let's go men. They'll be coming in after us soon."

* * *

Zeke leads Tobias and Beatrice back to camp where the other colonels and General Hooker await their report. No one talks about Beatrice's disappearing act or how the two of them were able to make it through the middle of the battle unharmed. It just seems that luck was on their side today. When they enter the tent, they are greeted by the other colonels and the general who await their reports.

"Well sir," Tobias begins, "there appears to be approximately eight to ten thousand Rebel troops moving up the Susquehanna Valley and they have all manner of units ready for a large scale attack."

"Very good then. Thank you, Colonel Eaton. The two of you may retire to your beds for some rest. We will be moving out tomorrow morning towards Winchester to try to intercept the Rebel attack."

They leave the tent with Zeke following behind them. "Come on, let's get you two something to eat so we can talk."

They gather some food and move away to the edge of the woods where they are sure they won't be overheard and people won't see the three of them talking.

After a long period of silence Zeke looks to Beatrice and scowls a little. "I think it's time for you to go spend some time with Shauna. The battle is coming closer to her and I want to make sure that she is protected and cared for. Will you do that for me?"

He feels that this would be the best way to get Beatrice away from all of the fighting and it would also give him peace of mind to know that there is someone there that could really care for Shauna the way he wants her to be cared for.

Beatrice looks at him with pity and annoyance, she knows him well enough to know that this request is just as much for her as it is for Shauna. "Zeke, I don't know if I can go back now. I feel like I need to finish what I've started."

"But she's your cousin. Damn it Tris, I need you to do this. As your commanding officer I order you to go back into civilian life."

She smiles sadly at him, "Zeke you can't command me to do that. Anything else but that."

"Tris, maybe he's right," Tobias says without looking at her.

"What? Now you too? I would have thought you would understand. I would have thought you would have been on my side."

"I am on your side. I'm on the side that wants desperately to keep you alive so that I have someone that I can write to and get to know. Don't you see? The more you risk your life the more I'm going to do everything in my power to protect you."

"Why? Why is my life any more important than any other soldier's life?"

"Because you're special Tris. Don't you see that? You have it in you to fight and change the world. If you die here, doing this, what does it change? Nothing, because people don't know who you really are. They don't know what you really think and why," Tobias says.

For the first time Zeke can see the way Tobias really feels for the woman sitting in front of him. He feels for her the way that Zeke feels for Shauna. "He's right, Tris. Please."

She scowls at them and looks down at her food. Part of her knows that Tobias is right, but she was miserable living with Shauna and trying to be the proper woman. Here she feels alive. Here she feels like she's accomplishing something important. How can they try to take it away from her? How can they ask her to be something that she's not?

"How can you two ask me to do this? Don't you know it will kill me to go back and be that person again? I can't be a weak woman anymore, that's not who I am anymore."

"I don't believe that's who you ever were," Tobias responds. "I believe you have always been this intrepid warrior with a fierce thirst to fight for what is right. Here it is easy for you to be that person, but out there you will have to forge new roads."

"What if I can't do it alone? Please don't make me leave here, Zeke. I can't. I'll stay out of harm, I promise. I won't volunteer for any more missions. I'll stay to the back of the unit or I'll join the doctors and nurses units in the back where I'm away from the action. Please."

Zeke looks to Tobias and then sadly at his cousin who is so desperate to escape her past that she doesn't even see what she has in front of her. He doesn't respond, he just looks down at his food and silently says a prayer for a swift end to this bloody war.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

As the band of eight thousand Confederate soldiers marches north through the western Virginia country side, it becomes clear that a battle is inevitable. Uriah sent out a couple scouts to locate the Union troops and report back. He is not surprised to hear that they are current marching northwest from Gainesville headed toward Winchester. Here is where they will encounter their enemy, he's sure of it.

He hurriedly walks through the camp toward General Ewell's tent where he will report what his scouts have seen.

"Sir, Yankee troops are moving toward us we will most certainly meet them before we arrive in Pennsylvania," Uriah tells him.

"How many?" Ewell asks.

"Approximately five thousand, sir."

Ewell smirks, "Good, good. Anything else?"

"It looks like they're headed toward Winchester."

"Then that's where we'll intercept them and crush them," Ewell smiles. "Thank you Captain. Now I want you to take your forces and ride ahead to Winchester and wait for our arrival."

Uriah solutes, "Yes sir."

He's happy about this order. This means that he can be at the front of the battle when the Yanks arrive in Winchester. The only thing he hopes is that he won't have to be the one to kill Zeke. Although they are on different sides and they will never again really be brothers, he still doesn't want to be the one to spill his own brother's blood.

That evening Uriah and his band of misfit soldiers ride out of the camp toward Winchester. They use the countryside's natural terrain to shield themselves from the prying eyes of the Yanks.

* * *

The Union soldiers march northwest and stop just outside Winchester Virginia. When the colonels meet once more, it's decided that Zeke's cavalry will take up the back while Tobias' light artillery unit would be in the forefront of the battle.

The units line up with small artillery in the front, heavy artillery next, and then the cavalry in the back. Their plan it to split the cavalry in half and cut the Rebels off on both sides and in effect boxing them and forcing them back toward the southwest.

As night settled on June 12th, 1863 Tobias made his way to Zeke's tent to discuss the impending attack and what was going to happen with Beatrice.

"What's going to happen with Beatrice?" Tobias asks.

"What do you mean? She promised to stay back but I can't force her to. If I treat her differently, someone is going to figure it out," Zeke snaps at Tobias.

"She needs to be held back, Zeke. We can't let her into this fight, I could… I mean we could lose her," Tobias says in frustration.

"Look, I know you think you have some kind of feelings for her, but you don't know her. She's stubborn and proud, a very volatile combination."

"I know that," Tobias says almost ashamed of his feelings. But then he becomes more frustrated and glares at Zeke, "It's almost as though you don't want to keep her safe? Maybe I should have her moved to my unit."

"Oh right, put her at the front where she's sure to be killed."

"Well damn-it maybe I can actually protect her there."

"Tobias, I'll talk to her. I'll try to convince her. I'll remind her that she promised to stay back and I'll threaten to make her be a nurse or send her back home."

Tobias hangs his head and sighs, "Okay, fine. Please just keep her safe. I need her to be safe. I've never met any woman like her. And it's not the war and it's not the conditions. She's amazing and I need to get to know her. I can't do that if she's dead."

"You also can't do it if you're dead either. So you better prepare. A battle is coming, soon. I can feel it."

Tobias nods and takes leave of Zeke's tent. He moves through the sleeping soldiers until he finds Beatrice with Abraxas. She's feeding him and brushing his coat. In the moonlight, her hair looks like it's made from a golden shower. Her skin glows and her silhouette is flawless. His heart flutters a little when he sees her.

He moves silently toward her, and when he's about five feet away from her, he clears his throat as to not startle her.

She turns quickly and immediately puts her hand on her pistol, ready to aim and fire if necessary. When she sees Tobias behind her, she relaxes.

"Hello Colonel Eaton. How are you this evening?" she solutes him and looks expectantly.

"Prior," he says in a cold tone, but his facial expression says something different. "Will you please come with me? I have correspondence that needs to be delivered immediately."

She follows him through the sea of tents to the edge of the forest when they are out of sight of anyone else.

"Tobias, what's wrong?"

"Please, go back to the medical unit. I couldn't bear it if something happened to you. The confrontation with the Rebels is inevitable."

"I can't do that. I thought you understood that."

"I did, but that was before…" he looks down and doesn't continue.

"Before what?" she presses him. "Tobias, talk to me."

He doesn't say a word. He quickly closes the distance between them and he presses his lips to hers. He pulls back after a moment with her in his arms and he looks into her eyes expectantly.

Beatrice doesn't speak. She knew he wanted to write her. That he was probably going to court her, but she didn't expect him to be so forward. When his lips made contact with hers, her heart started to hammer and she felt fluttering in her gut. Even now, after he's pulled away and he looks at her. She can't seem to form a coherent thought. What is she supposed to say? They are in the middle of a war. She wasn't supposed to find someone that cares for her this much. She wasn't supposed to have someone want to court her. But here he is, and he's just as infatuated with her as she is with him and it breaks her heart.

"Tobias, I…" but she stops and looks into his eyes. She sees love and fear.

Tobias doesn't expect her to reciprocate his advances but he had to let her know how he felt in this moment because he may never have the chance again. There's a battle coming, a huge one and being in the front, he knows that he may not make it out alive. It is unlike him to be so forward with anyone, especially a woman, but he knows that this is something that he has to do. He knows he is infatuated with her and he hopes that will eventually turn into love. But the problem is, he also knows that he may not have eventually in his future. He could die tomorrow and he doesn't want to die without letting her know that he wants her. He doesn't expect his soldiers to battle alone. He's just as immersed into the battles as they are, so he knows that every battle may be his last. He looks into her eyes and searches for what she's thinking and feeling. They are scared and sad, but there's something else there, hope. Then she does something unexpected, she returns his advance. She presses her body against his and wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him down so she can place a kiss to his lips. The exchange is innocent and pure.

They pull back from one another, but remain wrapped in each other's arms. Tobias looks at this beautiful woman and still doesn't understand how anyone could mistake her for a man or even a boy. Her face is that of an angel, innocent but full of knowing and life experience. Even under the baggy uniform, her womanly figure still shows through.

He leans down and presses his forehead to hers and looks into her eyes. He whispers while searching her eyes, "Please Tris. Please stay back, stay safe. I need you to be in my life. I've never met a woman so full of life and passion and so beautiful. I would like nothing more than to make you my bride someday."

She looks at him in shock. This is a war, how could he be thinking of such things. He's just met her. "Tobias, we just met. How could you possibly want to marry me?"

"We are in the middle of a war, Tris. If I've learned nothing in my time as a soldier, I've learned that you can't question when true love comes around. We may not have tomorrow, but we have today, now. And if me telling you how I feel and what I'm thinking helps to keep you safe, then that's what I'm going to do."

"I… I just don't know. I need to be a part of this. I need… I need to make sure that Zeke is safe and he can get home to Shauna."

He looks at her surprised, "Is that why you're here? To keep Zeke safe? Tris he's a colonel, you're an enlisted man. You can't keep him safe."

"But Tobias, please understand…"

"Understand what? I understand that what we are fighting for here is important. I understand that we need to keep going and keep fighting. But I also understand that I could easily fall in love with you, but I won't get that chance if you die. Call it love at first sight, call it crazy, I don't care. All I know is I need you to be alive and if you're not going to agree to stay back and take care of yourself, then I'm going to have to do whatever I can to protect you. If that means diving in front of a bullet or bayonet to save you, then that's what I'm going to do. Those are the consequences of your choices."

She looks at him sadly. She doesn't want this. She doesn't want him to be the savior or to try to keep her alive. She's doing what she has to do and she never wanted anyone else's help with it. She looks deep into his eyes and presses her lips to his once more, "Alright, I'll stay to the back."

"Promise me."

She nods but doesn't say the words.

"I want to hear you say it," he presses.

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. He smells like sweat and metal, his smell is intoxicating to her. It overwhelms her senses and makes her stomach flutter even more. She doesn't open her eyes to see his expression; she already knows he is looking at her expectantly. "I… I promise," she says almost inaudibly.

He pulls her tight to his body; he can feel every curve and bulge through the thick woolen uniform. He kisses her with all of the passion and desire that he can muster. He needs her to feel his desperation and need.

* * *

General Milroy stationed pickets and vedetts around Winchester. Zeke was concerned about the cavalry's and the small artillery's proximity to the town and to the forest surrounding it. There was too much opportunity for bushwhacking and other guerilla warfare. It would be too easy for them to be surrounded by the Rebels.

Winchester was heavily fortified by forts circumferencing the town, as well as along the outlying turnpike routes entering town. Within Winchester, Milroy constructed or improved ten defensive fortifications. The fortifications were linked in places with roads and trenches, and the use of these were a key to Milroy's defensive strategy. So when Zeke approached him about his concerns, Milroy refused to hear anything about it. Through a combination of retreating his forces into the defensive works, and then using his long-range heavy artillery, Milroy felt that he could hold out for weeks against any force that may be thrown against him.

During the battle, Milroy concentrated his forces on the ridges west of town in his three highest and most improved forts connected by trenches. This seemed to be the downfall of the battle for the Union.

Milroy concentrated all of his forces in the three forts defending the town. Having feared exactly this type of a scenario, General-in-chief Henry W. Halleck had asked Schenck to order Milroy to fall back from Winchester to Harpers Ferry. Although Schenck had discussed evacuation with Milroy, he left no clear direction for Milroy to evacuate, since Milroy had convinced Schenck that his defensive position in Winchester was strong. Milroy had previously decided to disregard concerns from Washington because he was confident that the strength of his fortifications would allow his garrison to withstand an assault or a siege.

* * *

Uriah and his soldiers, having been in Winchester for days and also having been a part of the first battle of Winchester, knew the layout of the town well. So when he saw Zeke's cavalry split and set up around the town, he sent a courier out to Ewell to inform him of the Union's tactics. Ewell ordered infantry forward into the forest behind the Union troops, he would use guerilla warfare to win this battle.

Ewell, based on good intelligence from sources in the lower Valley, had foreseen that Milroy's only escape route could be successfully blocked and had already anticipated by having Uriah's Division advance on Martinsburg. Uriah's division and Jenkins' cavalry brigade attempted to capture McReynolds' Brigade, but alerted to the Confederate movement by the firing of signal guns by Milroy's main force in Winchester, the Union forces were able to withdraw.

* * *

As Uriah gallops through the valley, through the death and destruction of yet another battle, he finds the Union cavalry pushing through the Confederate ranks. In the lead is an intimidating figure who is wreaking havoc with his men. He pushes his steed faster so that he can confront the man who is killing his men so effectively.

When he is with in twenty yards of the man he can see that he's a colonel in the Union Army. The man looks up and Uriah freezes instantly. He knows this man. They used to play together, they were best friends, confidants, brothers. When Ezekiel left to move north with his bride, Uriah tried to smooth things over with his parents for Zeke. He understood that what Zeke wanted, he wouldn't find in the south. He wanted to go to school, he wanted a life as a lawyer or some other prestigious position that he could never find in the south.

But when the southern states decided to secede from the Union, Uriah knew that Zeke had to come back to the south. He traveled to Maryland and tried to convince Zeke to return to the Carolinas with him, to join him in the Confederate Army. Zeke refused, he was already a in the Union Army and was slated to be a colonel. He fought, he screamed, he tried to convince Zeke that it was a bad idea, but Zeke wouldn't hear of it. His last words to his brother were words of hate.

Now Uriah sits atop his steed glaring in the direction of the man that used to be his brother. He sinks his spurs into the side of his horse and he rears up and begins to gallop toward his brother. He brings out his sword and readies himself for a fight. But he's cut off when Zeke fires his pistol in his direction. The bullet files just past Uriah's face, causing him to fall from his horse.

Zeke gallops toward his brother, sad that its come to this, here and now. He's always hoped that he wouldn't encounter his brother on the battle field. He doesn't want to kill him, but he also can't let him go.

Zeke dismounts from his horse just as he is close enough to Uriah and they immediately begin to sword fight. With the battle raging all around them, Zeke and Uriah have a battle of their own waging between the two of them.

Swords clash as the sound of cannon and gun fire echos all around them. The only thing that stops them before one of them is killed is a cannon ball being fired right past them. In an instant Zeke went from fighting his brother to saving his life. He threw himself at Uriah just before the cannon ball hit him.

Uriah gaped at his brother. There were fighting and suddenly Zeke saved his life. Zeke stands and looks down at his younger brother who he still loves in spite of everything.

"If I see you again, I won't hesitate to kill you, Uriah."

"Why would you save me then?"

"Because if you're going to die, it will be at my hand, not because you get an infection from losing a limb." With that Zeke mounts his mare and gallops off toward his unit, ready for another fight.

* * *

June 15th 1863, Milroy ordered the retreat of his soldiers, marking a victory for the Confederate troops and General Lee.

* * *

Beatrice found herself not able to abide by her promise to stay to the rear of the battle, there was no rear. With the forests surrounding them and the Rebels coming out of nowhere to fight, the front of the battle was all around. June 15th found the retreat of the Union forces.

With bullets and cannon fire all around, there was little time to think about what was happening. Surrounded by Rebels and losing the battle on, they were forced back and out of Winchester.

Beatrice fought with her fellow soldiers and watched as the men around her fell to the ground. She rode Abraxas hard through the battle field, trying to make a difference. The sound of a shot fired from behind her causes her body to jolt forward. As the bullet found her shoulder from behind, she suddenly understood why Tobias was so insistent. This is war, and casualties are inevitable, but she never believed for a moment that she would be one of those casualties. With a bullet burning its way through her flesh, she suddenly wishes for a life with Tobias that she now may never have.

She screamed out from the pain of her injury, but no one could hear her over the sound of cannons and gun fire throughout the valley. The noise of the battle echoed all around drowning out the sound of those that were dying. She slumped forward on Abraxas and allowed him to carry her away from the fighting. She's always had a special connection to the beast, he always seems to know what she needed, and this time was no different.

* * *

When the smoke finally cleared, the Union forces admitted their defeat by retreating. The colonels took inventory of their remaining soldiers from the 2700 surrendered or dead. This was a huge blow to the Union forces.

The Union army was forced to retreat. They moved their forces and camped about twenty miles southeast of Winchester to lick their wounds and to try to recuperate from the battle.

Abraxas followed behind the line of soldiers with his lifeless rider. He stayed near, but moved slowly keeping his rider on his back.

From across the field where the Union had taken up camp after retreating, Zeke could see the ghost white horse, but he couldn't see its rider. A feeling of dread washed over him. This battle had been fought all wrong and in spite of his better judgment, he rode his cavalry into a situation that was dangerous. Now from the span of maybe fifty yards, he can see the enormous beast, but not his petite rider.

He mounts his mare and gallops full speed toward Abraxas. When he gets near, he can see that Beatrice is slumped over in her mount. He can see the blood dripping from her hand that's hanging limp and lifeless from her body.

Zeke jumps from his horse and sprints to Beatrice, gently pulling her down from her mount and lying her onto the ground. He can see that she's still breathing, but her breaths are shallow and she's unconscious.

He lifts her back onto Abraxas and he guides horse and rider toward the back of the camp where the medical unit has set up.

When Tobias sees Zeke leading Abraxas, he doesn't see Beatrice slumped on the horse's back. His heart stops just for a moment when he starts to feel it shatter. He meant to protect her, but this battle was a disaster and he found himself unable to focus on her as he intended. The integrity of the Union forces had to come first.

Tobias mounts his steed and gallops toward Zeke who's almost to the medical unit. When he nears them, he sees Beatrice's lifeless body slumped over on the back of the horse.

"What happened?" Tobias shouts as he nears Zeke.

"She was shot in the shoulder. She's alive, but barely. I found Abraxas outside of camp gently maneuvering toward the camp. I've never seen a horse so in tune with its rider before, he may have saved her life."

Tobias jumped from his horse and pulled Beatrice's lifeless body from her mount. He carried her into the medical tent with Zeke following closely behind. Whatever doctor was to take care of her would have to be told about her. They needed to be discrete with her identity, but now Zeke was hopeful that this was what was going to send her home to Shauna, at least for a while.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"She is going home to Maryland," Zeke says glaring at Tobias. "I'm not sure what your intentions are here, but this is what's happening."

Tobias glowers at Zeke as they stand outside of the infirmary tents at the edge of the forest. The night is chilled for June sixteenth. The sky is clouded over with the threat of a horrific storm looming overhead. The sound of thunder and flashes of lightning in the distance announce the coming summer rains. Tobias wanted to take Tris with him to his home in Philadelphia where he could have nurses take care of her round the clock. Where he could be with her for the week that they've been given to bury the dead and to mourn their friends, but Zeke won't hear anything about it. Tobias knew he was over protective of her, but he never realized how much until now.

"I'm coming with you then," Tobias declares. He waits as Zeke stares pointedly at him and prepares himself for the argument that is bound to start.

"Did she tell you about herself? Did she tell you anything that happened to her when she was younger?" Zeke asks him angrily.

"She did actually. She told me about the would be fiancé and what he did to her. She told me about the death of her brother and how her father blamed her for being weak. She told me a lot, she trusted me with this information about herself. Why won't you trust me if she has."

Zeke sighs and hangs his head in defeat. He trusts this man that he's called his friend for some time now. He just doesn't understand why he became so enamored by her so quickly. "Explain one thing to me, Tobias. Why? Why are you so captivated with her?"

Tobias looks at him and smirks a little, "Because she's different than any other woman that I've ever met. I've never met a woman so passionate about what she believes in that she risked her life to help slaves find freedom. She dresses like a man and behaves as such so that she can continue to help those that she feels are being wronged. She's not the southern debutant who believes herself too dainty to be a part of something important and she's not the northern lady who talks about the injustices of the south but never really does anything about it and still behaves as though she's better than those she believes are being unfairly treated. She truly believes that those people being forced into servitude in the south should be free and treated equally. She doesn't see color, gender, or stature, she sees the person. That's what I like about her."

Zeke looks astonished. These are the reasons he agreed to help her with her charade and these are the reasons that he thought she would never find a man good enough for her. He never believed that there were many men out there that would appreciate and cherish her in the way she should be cherished. But maybe, he thinks, Tobias might just be the right man for her after all.

"Fine, you can help me take her to Bethesda."

"I was thinking that we should take both women to Philadelphia," Tobias says. "Bethesda is still on this side of the Mason Dixon, I'm not sure they will be safe here as the Rebels march closer to Pennsylvania."

Zeke thinks about this, "You're probably right about that. We will gather Shauna and move both women to Philadelphia. I'll send a courier ahead to let Shauna know to let the maid leave and to gather her belongings for the trip. But where will they stay?"

"I have a large home in Philadelphia that is currently unoccupied. You may want to have Shauna ask the maid if she would like to accompany us, she may need help caring for Tris."

Zeke agrees and he turns and enters the hospital tent to see how his favorite soldier is doing.

* * *

Beatrice lies in the cot in the hospital tent. Her shoulder throbs from the bullet that ripped through her skin and imbedded itself in her shoulder blade. After a lot of pain and torture, the doctor was able to remove the bullet and stitch the wound. They bandaged her and gave her some pain medication that she refused. She wasn't about to take medication that would make her tired or even make her sleep. With Zeke and Tobias nowhere near to protect her and her identity, she refuses to let her guard down.

As she sits and waits for whatever is going to happen next, she looks around at her surroundings. The tent is larger than what she's used to seeing around the camp. It is dark and dank, full hopelessness and fear. The smell is putrid as the scents of rotting flesh waft through the air with nowhere to escape. The doctors and nurses are all covered in dirt, blood and other fluids that pour from open wounds and within the dead and dying. It amazes her that the soldiers that are under the care of these people aren't dying from the inevitable diseases that the cots and surgical instruments must hold.

One after another the doctors bring in soldiers to remove flesh and limbs that have been destroyed by cannon fire, bullets, or from hand to hand combat. She watches as doctors and nurses attempt to amputate a fellow soldier's leg. It is already mostly removed from his body, but they have to complete the job that the cannon ball wasn't able to follow through with. The sounds of the soldier's screams as they saw through his limb echo through the tent above the moans of the others. He soon passes out from the pain and the doctors are able to quickly finish their job and move on to the next soldier.

She feels lucky that her injury is so minimal compared to that of many others. The doctors have even assured her that her recovery time would be minimal and that Private James Prior would be able to return to the ranks of Colonel Ezekiel Monroe's soldiers.

As the sounds in the tent wash over her, she begins to feel the desperate need to escape this place. She can't handle seeing so much death and suffering in one place. She wonders how the doctors and nurses that volunteer their time with this unit are able to handle it without going mad. Thoughts of a conversation with Zeke about becoming a nurse instead of a soldier come flooding into her mind. She told him that being a nurse wasn't good enough. She wanted to fight and really make a difference. Now she sees the difference these people make, even if it's just to get someone to relax and to give them a pleasant smile or kind word before they close their eyes for the last time. But to do this day in and day out? She doesn't think she could do it.

Zeke and Tobias enter the tent and begin to make their way through their soldiers offering words of encouragement, looks of pity and sorrow, and heartfelt thank yous to those that would not be returning to their ranks. They are sure to focus on all of the soldiers that they come across before they get to Beatrice. She smiles at these two men who have shown her such caring and faith.

"We're going home," Zeke bends down and whispers in her ear. "We will be collecting Shauna and will be moving the two of you to Philadelphia for your recovery."

She looks at him in confusion, "Why?"

"We will discuss the specifics later," Zeke says in an authoritative manner. He know he must always have the air of being a colonel when he is with her. He doesn't want anyone to see the softness in his eyes when he looks at her.

* * *

Beatrice spent three days in the infirmary before Zeke and Tobias took her from the Army hospital. They were able to mask her true identity for the couple days that she was being treated. Luckily the doctor was so busy with so many injuries that he only looked at her shoulder and didn't examine her beyond that. It was also easier to hide her because everyone around the camp was preoccupied with the fact that General Milroy was given leave of his command. The debacle that caused the loss of 2700 Union soldiers either because of death or capture was because Milroy was too arrogant and didn't listen to any of the colonels or other officers that tried to help.

The day that Zeke and Tobias collected Beatrice from the hospital tent, they were already packed and ready for departure. They had taken care of Abraxas and made sure that they gathered her belongings that they could find so they could leave out immediately. When Beatrice left the tent and saw both men waiting for her with her horse, she looked surprised and gave them both a questioning look. She had no idea that Tobias would be accompanying them on their trip. She knows better than to begin questioning them here, there are still soldiers and other officers around that could hear their conversation and realize something is up with the colonels taking care of the lowly boy private.

After about an hour of travel, she finally decides it's safe to speak up.

"What's happening?"

"We are going to collect Shauna and move the two of you to Philadelphia for your recovery," Zeke explains

"Why Philadelphia and where will we be staying?"

"Because the Rebels are marching toward Pennsylvania. Bethesda is in their path, you wouldn't be safe there," Tobias explains. "You will be staying in my home in Philadelphia. We will get a nurse to come and help with your recovery."

"The doctors said that I would be able to return to action soon," Beatrice says.

Zeke looks at her and returns his gaze to the terrain in front of him. "Tris, I think your time in the Union Army has come to fruition. It is time for you to take your place among the ranks of the other women helping the war effort in other ways."

She looks at him with shock and horror, she can't do that. She has to be involved. How can he of all people suggest such a thing? Emotion starts to build in her chest and the heat of the tears that threaten to fall build in her eyes. She looks from Zeke to Tobias and she sees the same sorrowful look in Tobias' face. She knows he agrees with Zeke's thoughts, but she refuses to acknowledge that they might be right.

"I can't do that," she says sadly. "Zeke please, I did as promised. I stayed to the back, I just didn't know that they were coming up behind us."

"That's the problem, Tris. I forgot that this really is a real war. We aren't fighting any other country that fights straight forward. We are fighting men who learned to fight through the Indian wars. Where we learned that the best way to win a battle was through guerilla warfare. Hiding in the woods and trenches, sneaking up behind your enemy and killing them before they even know you're there. That's the way this war is being fought. It's no place for a novice soldier who was never properly trained."

She looks at Zeke in shock. She knows that she didn't go through any kind of training. That he taught her how to hold a gun and shoot it. That she'd never dreamed of holding something with so much power before. But now here she is, and she's not ready to give it up.

They move silently through the forests of Virginia and after a day of travel, arrive in Bethesda to Zeke's home. When Shauna sees her husband, whom she hasn't seen in almost a year, she is overcome with joy, sadness, and love. She runs out of the house as Zeke leaps from his mare. She dives into his arms and wraps her arms around him. He envelops her in his embrace and picks her up into his arms. For a long time they stand in the front of their home and hold onto one another, pouring all of their love and devotion into this embrace.

Beatrice watches, overjoyed that she gets to be a part of their epic love. She's never seen two people more in love than Zeke and Shauna. This is the kind of love that she wants to find. She knows she has feelings for Tobias, but she's not sure that it could ever be the kind of love that Zeke and Shauna share.

She carefully dismounts Abraxas and moves toward her cousin. When Shauna sees her with a sling holding her arm and the ashen look of her skin, she knows that something horrible happened.

"Oh my God, Tris what happened?" Shauna asks pulling Tris into a gentile hug.

"I got shot in the shoulder; it isn't as bad as it looks."

"I got the letter," she says. "We are ready to go. Mary wants to come with us. She says that she has family in Philadelphia that she would love to see."

"Well then, we should get going," Tobias suggests. "It's about a day's ride and we shouldn't waste any time."

* * *

Beatrice is overwhelmed with the sights that surround her in Philadelphia. It's huge compared to what she's used to. The size and scale of the buildings and homes are comparable to her home in the Carolinas, but the number and diversity of the people is amazing to her. White and black people living side by side and seemingly having no problems living together. This is what she's always dreamed of seeing when she working freeing slaves in the Underground Railroad. This is the reason that she wanted to join the Union Army and fight against the oppression that she's so used to, because she knows that it's not just about black people, the oppression extends to women. Fighting for equality for all people, that's what she's doing and the fight to end slavery is the first step toward everyone being treated as equals.

They move through the city to a string of large homes on the outskirts of town. Tobias takes the lead and guides the group toward his home. It's a large white, three story, eight bedroom Victorian home. After Tobias ran away from his horrible father and stepmother, he was able to make a good life for himself. Over time he was able to purchase this home for himself, but when the war started he had to leave it behind in the care of others.

They enter the large entrance hall and Beatrice is awed by the grandeur of this house. The enormity of it is amazing, everything about it is spectacular. She gapes at everything around her, and can't believe that something so lovely belongs to a soldier.

Zeke and Tobias gather the women's belongings and take them into the house.

"I'll show you to your rooms," Tobias tells them as he and Zeke carry the trunks and other bags up the staircase that leads from the front hall. They stop in front of a large bedroom. "This will be Zeke and Shauna's room," he helps Zeke carry their belongings into the room and then continues down the hall to another room, "Mary, this will be your room." This room isn't as large as the last one, but it is good for one person.

"Thank you, sir," Mary says taking her things into the room.

Then Tobias leads Beatrice down the hall further. In front of them is the master bedroom and next to it is another bedroom. He opens the door to the master bedroom, "This will be your room, Tris."

"Tobias, this is the master bedroom. I can't take your room."

"Nonsense, you're injured and I'll be in the room just next door." He takes her things into the large bedroom that has its own bath, balcony, and seating area. He places her trunk at the base of the large four poster bed and begins to take her belongings from the trunk to hang them in the closet.

"Thank you, Tobias." She smiles at him and begins to help unpack her things.

"I'm going to go into town and see about hiring a nurse to come stay with you for a while."

"You've already done so much for us, I can't let you do that."

He smiles warmly at her and kisses her cheek, "Don't be ridiculous. Now why don't you go wash up and change out of that uniform, I'll be back shortly."

She nods at the thought of getting out of the clothes she's wearing and getting clean.

Tobias leaves the room and moves down the hall toward the staircase. Mary exits her room and smiles warmly at the soldier in front of her. "I was going to begin to make dinner if that is alright, sir."

"Absolutely Mary. The caretaker for the house lives in the house in the back if you would like some assistance. I've already informed her of our arrival, so she's expecting us. Her name is Johanna and she will be happy to assist you."

Mary nods and descends the stairs to go and find the kitchen and Johanna. Tobias stops by Zeke's room and knocks on the door. When Shauna opens it, she looks a bit flustered and upon seeing Tobias, she blushes. The sight of her makes Tobias smile. He's happy that his friend is able to spend some time with his wife.

"I wanted to let you know that Tris is bathing, Mary went to find Johanna, the caretaker of the house, and I'm going to go see about hiring a live-in nurse to stay here while Tris is healing."

"Thank you, Tobias," Shauna says. "I'll let Zeke know. He's also preparing to bathe."

Tobias nods and quickly exits the house. He collects Bronte and the gallop off to the city. He arrives at the hospital and approaches a nurse sitting at a desk in the front hall.

"Can I help you sir?" the nurse asks and smiles at the handsome soldier standing in front of her.

"Yes, I need to see about hiring a live-in nurse," Tobias explains.

"I can help you with that. What will the nurse need to be responsible for?"

"I need someone to care for a woman who received a bullet wound in her shoulder. She was cared for and released from the hospital but she still needs care."

The nurse goes through her listing of nurses and comes across one who has the appropriate experience. "Colonel, I must ask you if you have problems with a nurse who is black."

"Absolutely not," Tobias says forcefully. "He's surprised by this question. What is he fighting for if there are people in the north that still insist on being bigots?

"Very well, I'll return with her in just a moment. She's just finishing her shift."

When the nurse returns, she enters with a beautiful tall woman with dark skin and black hair. "This will be the nurse that will be staying with your family. I'm to assume that you have a place for her to sleep?"

"Oh of course," he says then turns his attention to the young nurse. "Hello, I'm Colonel Tobias Eaton. I'm pleased to meet you."

"Hello sir, I'm Christina."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Tobias leads Christina into his house with her bags. "Follow me, I'll show you to your room then to the woman that you will be caring for." He begins to ascend the stairs, when he looks back he sees a confused looking Christina standing at the bottom looking up to him.

"I thought you were showing me to my room, sir."

"I am, your room will be upstairs. Is that a problem?"

"Um… No, I've just never been given a room in the main house before. Usually I have to stay in the servants' quarters."

"Well, I don't have servants' quarters. There is a house in the back that belongs to the caretaker, but that is her home."

"Oh, okay," she says reluctantly. Christina has found that even in the north there is a lot of racism and bigotry among white people. She's never actually met a white man that talked to her like she was and equal. She follows him up the stairs and he leads her down the hall to a room.

"This will be your room. The room next door is Mary. She's Colonel Monroe's housekeeper and she's helping out around here until they are able to return home. You will meet Colonel Monroe and his wife Shauna at dinner."

They place her belongings on the bed, "I'll introduce you to the woman that you will be caring for. She received a gunshot wound to the shoulder."

"May I ask how a woman got shot in the shoulder?"

"I'm sorry, that is not information that I wish to share at this time," Tobias says coldly.

Christina realizes at this moment that even though he doesn't treat her poorly, he's still a colonel, he still carries that air of authority and power that such a high ranking soldier should carry. It is a demeanor of authority, not superiority though, which is something that she can respect. She quietly follows him to the master bedroom. He knocks on the door and stands to wait to be invited in. The voice behind the door calls out for him to enter. He opens the door and leads the way in.

"I found a nurse to help you, I brought her to meet you," Tobias announces.

"I'll be out in a moment," the female voice responds.

Beatrice finishes dressing in the bathroom. She puts on a comfortable dress and puts her arm carefully back into the sling. She looks at herself in the mirror, happy to actually feel like a woman for once. She opens the bathroom door and enters the bedroom. When she sees the woman standing in the door way her eyes widen and she immediately begins to tear.

Christina can't believe her eyes when she sees the petite woman leave the bathroom. The smile that plays on her face at the sight of her best friend is huge.

"Chris…Christina, is that really you?"

"Hi Tris, it's been a long time."

Tobias looks between the woman remembering Tris' story about the would-be fiancé and the best friend that saved her. He smiles, without knowing it, he managed to reunite these friends.

"This is the friend you told me about?" Tobias asks.

Tris snaps herself out of her shock and smiles at Tobias. "Yes, this is Christina."

"It's nice to meet you Christina, I've heard quite a bit about you."

Christina smiles, "Nice to meet you also Colonel Eaton."

"Please, call me Tobias. I'll leave you to your reunion. I'm going to check on dinner, it should be done soon."

When the two friends are left alone, Christina closes the door and approaches Tris. She smiles and pulls her old friend into a gentle hug. "So, care to tell me how you got shot?" Christina smirks. "Wait, I know you. You somehow managed to get yourself in the middle of a fight."

"You are looking at Private James Prior of the Union Cavalry."

"Are you serious? How did you manage that? People actually believe you're a man?"

Tris smirks, "Yeah, they think I'm a very young man, but a man nonetheless."

Christina looks at her friend in astonishment, "When did you leave your parents' house?"

"The same day you did. Once you and your family were safely in the Railroad, I took Abraxas and took off for my Cousin Shauna's home in Maryland."

"Abraxas? You actually got away with him? I can't believe your father didn't hunt you down and kill you himself."

"He wouldn't have realized either of us was gone until he woke in the morning. I left in the middle of the night. I even made sure it was a time that the stable workers weren't in the stables when I left. I just pray that he didn't take my leaving out on anyone."

Christina just smiles and looks at her childhood friend. She's still the same girl as she was when they were children, but she has also changed greatly also. She's more mature, she's more determined. "So, why are you doing this? There are other ways to help other than getting yourself killed."

"You know what it was like there better than anyone, Christina. My family was horrible."

"So what, do you think that you will be able to right the wrongs of generations of narrow minded people?"

Tris looks down sadly, "Christina, it's my fault you were treated so badly. It was my family that…"

"No, stop. It wasn't your fault. That's like saying that it was my fault that my parents were slaves. There are plenty of people that are at fault here, but neither of us have any part of that. You can't single handedly change people, Tris. You can only treat people the way you know they should be treated and hope that others follow your example."

"I missed you so much, Christina."

Christina moves to her friend land hugs her, "I missed you too, Beatrice. Tell me about your life."

"I'm a soldier, what else is there. I'm constantly around stinky men who think that I'm a man. I've managed to make a Rebel captain really angry with me and now every time he sees Abraxas, he tries to kill me."

Christina snickers, "For some reason, that doesn't surprise me at all."

Tris smiles, "Well what about you?"

"Well, it took us about four weeks to make it to Pennsylvania after we left the plantation. We were set up with a family that helped us get on our feet once we were here. My dad died just after we arrived because of a blood infection. It was then that I decided that I wanted to be a nurse. If I'd known how to take care of my father's injury I could have saved his life."

"I'm so sorry, Christina. You know I always loved your dad. How about your mom and sister?"

"Mom's fine. She's working as a seamstress in the city and she's doing well. My sister gets to go to school. She loves to learn and if it weren't for you, she wouldn't be getting the opportunity to learn to read and write. The family we were living with when we arrived helped me to volunteer in Army hospital and after a while, they started teaching me how to do different tasks to help the doctors and to care for the injured soldiers. They pay me a little and I'm helping people."

"How did you come here?"

"Well, they asked the Colonel if he was okay with a black nurse and he didn't hesitate. Speaking of the Colonel, what's going on with you and him?"

Tris smiles a little, "Nothing really, when he found out that I was a woman, he asked me if he could write me. He told me he wants to court me, but we hardly know each other. Since I met him we've been in two battles or in different camps."

Just as Christina is about to press her about her feelings, Tobias calls from the bottom of the stairs. "Dinner is ready!"

"Before we go down, let me take a look at this bullet wound. I want to make sure the bandage is clean and it is healing properly."

Tris nods and sits so Christina can unzip the back of her dress and check the wound.

* * *

In the dining room, Zeke and Shauna sit together and talk. Tris walks in and Christina begins to head to the kitchen. "Where are you going?" Tris asks.

"To the kitchen to eat," Christina says like it's obvious.

Tris shakes her head, "My best friend is not sitting in the kitchen to eat."

Christina looks from Tris to the two colonels and the other woman in the room. They all smile at her warmly. Christina has never met a group of white people that actually treated her like she was a whole person. Even though she is in the north and it is far better than the south, white people still don't tend to treat her as an equal. Christina smiles and turns to sit next to Tris. Tobias pulls chairs out for both Tris and Christina so they can sit. The caretaker enters the dining room and sits with the group also.

"Everyone, this is Johanna Reyes. She's the caretaker for the house and she lives in the house in the back. Johanna this is Colonel Ezekiel Monroe, Shauna, Beatrice, and Christina."

Johanna is a motherly looking woman with black hair, light brown eyes, and light brown skin. She has a scar leading from her forehead across her right eye and down to her chin. This injury seems to have made her blind in her right eye. She smiles at the young people sitting around the table and is impressed with how the diversity of the group doesn't affect how they behave toward one another. 'The country could take some lessons from these young people,' she thinks to herself.

"It's a pleasure to meet you all,"

They all greet Johanna and she smiles. Then Mary comes in and sits at the table as well. Mary is half Native American and half white. She has long black hair that is wrapped in a bun in the back of her head. She has light reddish/tan skin with warm brown eyes. She is in her early thirties and is quite beautiful. She smiles at the group and sits down next to Johanna.

"Christina, this is Mary. She works for my cousin in Maryland, she decided to come stay with us for a while."

Christina smiles warmly, "Nice to meet you, Mary."

"Pleased to meet you, Christina," Mary responds and smiles.

Once the introductions are complete, they begin to eat their dinner as one big, diverse family.

* * *

Following dinner, Beatrice takes leave of the group and goes outside to porch. She's never seen such a big city before. She's kind of intimidated thinking that she doesn't belong in a place like this. While she stands alone on the porch, looking up at the stars she is overcome with emotion. A lot has been going on in her life, the war, being reunited with Christina, Tobias. They are all things weighing on her. She's not sure if Christina actually forgives her for what happened all those years ago. She's not sure what her feelings are for Tobias. She likes him, which she's sure of, but she's afraid to be near another man. She's afraid that Eric may have destroyed her for every other man. Tobias has a strong and commanding presence, but with her he's also gentile. He also has complete faith in her strength and ability, no one other than Zeke has ever had that kind of faith in her.

She is so deep in thought that she doesn't notice the presence that approaches her from behind. They place a hand on her uninjured shoulder and lightly squeeze. She smiles to herself because she would know this gesture anywhere; she's been living with it for years now.

"Hello Zeke," she says without even turning around.

"What are you doing out here alone?" Zeke asks.

She scoffs at him, "I'm pretty sure I can handle myself on the porch, _sir_." She says 'sir' in a very sarcastic manner.

Zeke smiles, "Oh, I don't know. Trouble seems to find you wherever you go, _soldier_." He pauses for a moment, noticing the smile creeping onto her face. "How's the shoulder?"

"It feels like I was shot," she says sarcastically.

"Would you take a walk with me?" Zeke asks. Tris smiles and nods at her cousin, friend, and protector.

They walk together in silence enjoying the mid June night. Fireflies can be seen all around, lighting up the night with their constant twinkling. They look like tiny stars floating through the atmosphere. There is just enough of the moon showing this night to light up their surroundings a bit. Crickets chirp all around, singing their melody through the darkness.

The sights and sounds of the night relax Beatrice and she smiles at herself when she thinks about nights as a child catching fireflies with Christina, Will, and Caleb. Thinking about Caleb used to hurt, but now she enjoys keeping his memory alive by thinking about all of the wonderful things they did as children on the plantation.

After a few minutes of walking in silence, Zeke stops and takes Beatrice's hand. "What are your feelings for Tobias?"

She looks at him, a little surprised by his bluntness. "Honestly, I'm not sure. I like him, he's a good man. But part of me is worried that I'm a ruined woman. What man would ever really want a woman who has been through what I've been through? He knows about it, but I can't help but wonder when he's going to decide that he no longer wants a damaged woman. He deserves better than me."

"Is that really what you think about yourself? Do you really think that you are damaged?"

"Sometimes I do. Sometimes I think that I don't deserve a real relationship. I couldn't defend myself…"

"Stop it," Zeke demands. "That man, Eric, was almost a foot taller than you and outweighed you by about one hundred pounds. There is no way that you could have stood up against him and done anything to stop him."

She looks down sadly and thinks about Zeke's words. She knows he right, but she also can't help the way she feels.

"Tell me something," Zeke continues, "could you love Tobias?"

"I think I could some day, but I don't know if I'll ever really be able to give myself to him like he deserves."

Zeke nods, "I can tell him to leave you alone if you want. I wouldn't mind chasing him away for you." He gives her a warm smile and winks at her.

She giggles a little, "Okay big brother Zeke, but there's no need to try to scare away the man that wants to court me."

"Wait, he said that?"

"Well what do you think 'writing me' means, Zeke?"

He thinks for a minute, "Writing is one thing, actually courting you means he intends to marry you."

"Is that so strange?"

"No, no it's not. You're beautiful and selfless and brave. You are an ardent humanitarian who believes that everyone should be treated equally. These are all qualities that a man like Tobias would look for actually."

"Why do you say that?"

"Did I ever tell you how I met Tobias?"

"No, I just assumed you met in the army."

"We did, we met during training after we enlisted. But it wasn't in the training that we met. He saved my life. We acquired this enormous steed after a battle with a native tribe in Virginia. He was almost a big and intimidating as Abraxas. He was brought to the barracks to be broken because he was quite wild. I decided that, growing up on a plantation, that I could ride this horse with no problem. I mean, how many horses have I ridden in my life?" he pauses for a moment then continues. "Anyway, I went into the corral and mounted this huge horse. He snorted as soon as he felt my weight on his back and immediately began to buck and run around the corral. He threw himself at the fence, smashing my legs between his body and the wood. He bucked so hard that he threw me, but my foot was stuck in the stirrup, so I got drug around the corral with him still bucking and throwing himself around. Tobias jumped in and threw himself onto the horse's back. Tobias got him to stop after a few more moments and I was able to release my foot and limp away to safety."

"Wow, you're lucky you didn't get killed. What ended up happening to that horse?"

"That horse is Bronte. Tobias is the only person that's ever been able to ride him, kind of like Abraxas. He threw himself into a situation that could have killed him without even thinking twice. And that is only one of the many valiant and noble things he's done during his time as a Union soldier. Many other soldiers owe him their lives."

She smiles to herself when she imagines Tobias being brave and selfless. It's not a difficult thing to imagine. She's seen him with his soldiers. Many colonels stay to the back and just give orders, but Tobias believes that he's no better than his soldiers and if they are in the front fighting, he's going to be there right along with them.

"Basically what I'm saying is he's a good man, Tris. If ever you are going to give any man a chance to enter your world, he would be a good choice. But just don't tell him that I said that."

She snickers, "Maybe. I'll think about it, okay?"

Zeke pulls her into his embrace and kisses the top of her head. "Let's go back, Shauna's probably wondering where we've gone off to."

* * *

**I have to take a moment to thank NYCgirl166 for constantly letting me bounce ideas off of her! And thank you all for reading and reviewing!**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Tris wakes in the middle of the night to the sound of a thunderstorm. Thunder echoes all around while flashes of lightning light up the late night sky. She moves out of bed and puts on her robe. She moves silently through the house to the front hall where she opens the front doors and steps outside onto the large front porch.

The sound of the pouring rain relaxes her as the thunder reverberates through her body, vibrating her core. It's both comforting and exciting at the same time. She's always loved the sound of fierce thunderstorms when she was a child, the sounds were just enough to drown out the thoughts that always plagued her about her family and the injustices that she watched around her.

Tris moves toward a group of rocking chairs that line part of the porch and sits to watch the storm moving all around the house. The rain pelts the house harder as the thunder gets louder and louder. This is one of the worst storms that she's ever witnessed, but it's phenomenal. The sound is so loud that she doesn't notice the presence that moves toward her and sits in a chair next to her. When she sees the movement next to her she jumps slightly with surprise.

"Hello Tris, I guess I'm not the only one that enjoys storms," Tobias declares.

"I've always loved storms, they are so soothing but so powerful…" she trials off as another lightning bolt flashes across the sky creating the illusion daylight in the darkness just for a moment and the crash of thunder resonates on all sides of them.

Tobias smiles, "The day my mother died, there was a horrible storm outside and I swore when I looked up into the sky, I saw an image of her in the clouds. Ever since, storms calm me, like it's her saying hello or something."

Tris looks at him in surprise and smiles, he's usually so guarded with his feelings and who he really is, she likes it when he's like this. "So, how long are you and Zeke here for?"

"We are going to have to leave next Monday. We are meeting the rest of the regiments near here just outside of Philadelphia. About 150,000 men are moving north and are set to converge near here to cut off the Rebels before they move too far into the north."

"When I'm better, how will I know where you are?"

He sighs and looks down, "I wish you wouldn't try to rejoin. Why can't you just stay here and wait for our return? You'll be safe here."

"Tobias, I thought you understood."

"I'm sorry Tris, but I don't. I don't understand why you want to risk your life."

"I just need to be there. I need to…" she trails off. For so long this has been about righting the wrongs of the past, but now things are different. Why does she need to be there? She no longer feels like it's her job rectify the past. Since she's been reunited with Christina, she no longer feels like it's her job to fix everything. So what is driving her now? Is it Zeke? But Zeke is a colonel and is more than capable of taking care of himself and if she's there she knows that he would lay down his life for her. Is that what she wants? Then she looks at the man sitting next to her and suddenly she realizes why she wants to go back. She wants to be near him.

She knows that he will be leaving soon, and the idea of being away from him unnerves her. She's never been able to let go of her past and allow herself to look at any man the way she is looking at him right now. She didn't look at him this way yesterday, did she? She talked to Zeke about him last night and he encouraged her to give Tobias a chance. Tobias has expressed his desire to get to know her better, he doesn't push or act like most men do, he's respectful and caring. All of the sudden she's completely nervous and doesn't know what to say. How did this happen? When did this happen? Her heart hammers against her chest as she quickly realizes that she's falling for this man. But, what is she supposed to do?

Tobias turns to her and sees that her usual strong, zealous demeanor is changed. What he sees before him is a beautiful, passionate woman who seems to be battling something within herself. She looks torn and almost frightened.

"Tris, what's wrong?"

"I… Um… Well, I've told you about my past and what happened to me."

He nods wordlessly, prompting her to continue.

"I always felt like I was too damaged for anyone to care for me, but then you expressed your feelings for me. I didn't feel worthy of your attention or…"

"Tris," he cuts her off.

"No, please let me finish," she says. "I didn't feel worthy of your attention or your affection. But then something happened. I don't know when or why, but suddenly I feel like I need to give this a chance. To give you a chance. That's why I need to go back, I need to be with you, to be near you. I don't think I could survive with you gone and not knowing what's happening."

Tobias stands and moves in front of her. He kneels down in front of her so he can look into her eyes. The stormy grey color of the sky is reflected in the stormy grey color of her eyes. There's fear and confusion there, but there's also determination and love. The unmistakable look of love is shining in her eyes. He's never seen this look in her eyes before, and he wonders when it got there. He smiles warmly at the beautiful woman that's in front of him.

"Tris, it's safer here for you. If you're there, I'd want to protect and that could put us both in danger, especially if someone finds out who you are. I know it's against your beliefs, but staying safe is more important than staying with me."

She shakes her head, disagreeing with him, "I've never felt this before, Tobias. I've never let any man in and I don't know how to handle these feelings. What am I supposed to do?" Tears start to form in her eyes. She tries to blink them back, but they begin to run over when Tobias takes her hands into his and kisses them both.

"Tris, I'm not asking you to be something that you're not. I'm just asking you to be safe. What if you return, as a woman, and become a nurse. You would still be near, but far enough away from the fighting that you should be safe. You could even invite Christina if you wanted. She's a trained nurse, something that the Union doesn't often have in its ranks. Together you could save many lives."

Tris thinks about this. She's never been good with injuries and being able to separate herself to do what needs done when someone is hurt. But having spent time in the Army hospital, she also realizes how important they are for the soldiers. Without the doctors and nurses, more soldiers would be lost to injury and illness than already are. She could help to make the lives of soldiers better. She could really make a difference there.

"I'll think about it," she tells him then smiles.

Her hands still in his, he stands pulling her up with him. He moves behind her and wraps his arms around her body as they watch the storm wreak havoc on their surroundings. She nuzzles herself into his body and he tightens his grip on her. She's never felt so safe and cared for.

"Tobias?"

"Yes Tris."

"What happens now?"

"Now we get to know each other better and wait to see if we have a mutual attraction or not."

She turns in his grasp and looks into his eyes. Suddenly she feels like being bold, like she should do something to let him know that this attraction is definitely mutual and that she's willing to let him into her world. She reaches up onto her tiptoes and places a kiss on his cheek. When he looks down at her a bit surprised, she blushes at her forwardness. But then he returns her gesture when he leans down and kisses her on the lips. They stay like that, her wrapped in his arm and them kissing for a few moments before they pull apart.

"I'm sorry…" he begins; worried that she may be unnerved by his aggressiveness. He doesn't want to frighten her or make her uncomfortable in any way. But she immediately cuts him off.

"Please don't apologize," she says and reaches up and kisses him again. When they pull apart again, Tobias looks into her eyes.

"I was beginning to think you would never kiss me like that," Tobias whispers as he places his forehead to hers.

"Why?"

"It's just… you've been through so much. I was starting to think that it might be too much for us to overcome."

"And now?" she asks looking into his eyes.

"Now I think we will be okay."

Tobias backs up, bringing her with him. He sits in one of the rocking chairs and pulls her into his lap. They sit together watching the rain, Tris in his lap with his arms wrapped around her small frame. After some time, the constant thunder and rain and the motion of the chair rocks them both to sleep.

* * *

When Christina wakes in the morning, she goes to Tris' room to check on her wound and change the bandage. She knocks on the door, but when she gets no response, she opens the door and announces her presence.

"Tris, I'm here to check your wound, are you in the bathroom?" Christina asks.

She looks around the room and sees that the bathroom door is wide open and Tris is nowhere to be found. She walks down to the kitchen and dining room area and Tris isn't there either. Zeke walk into the room and takes in the concerned look on Christina's face.

"Colonel, have you seen Tris? She isn't in her room or anywhere down here."

"No I haven't, but I'm sure she didn't go far," he smiles. "Come on, let's take a look outside. She loves thunderstorms; maybe she wandered outside to watch the storm last night.

When they get outside they find Tris on Tobias' lap and they are both sleeping on a rocking chair. Christina smiles at Zeke and they both turn to go back inside of the house.

"Well, I guess she took my advice," Zeke said.

"What advice was that, if you don't mind my asking, Colonel?"

"First, stop calling me Colonel. My name is Zeke. And the advice was if she was ever going to let a man into her world, he would be the one that she should let in. He's been pursuing her for almost two months now and she hasn't shown any interest. I've tried to do the big brother thing and told him to back off, but he refused. I know he's a good guy, and I know he's her match, though."

Christina smiles, "Should I wake them? They are going to be so sore from sleeping like that all night."

"Yes, you probably should. Thank you, Christina."

She turns and goes back out onto the porch. "Tobias, Tris, Its morning," she tries to say gently. Tris stirs a little, but Tobias tightens his grip on her and she just nuzzles into him more. "Tris, wake up," Christina says more firmly. "Colonel, its morning."

Tobias opens his eyes and the first thing he sees is the beautiful woman in his arms sleeping. Then he looks up to see a smiling Christina.

"I'm sorry to wake you, but I was so scared when I went in to care for her wound and she wasn't in her room," Christina says.

"No, it's fine Christina. And please call me Tobias. I'll wake her and send her in to the house in just a moment."

Christina nods and turns to go back into the house.

Tobias looks down at Beatrice and kisses the top of her head, "Tris, wake up. We slept outside."

Her eyes flutter open and she starts to panic a little when she realizes where she is.

"Oh God, Tobias, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep on your lap."

"Calm down, it's okay," Tobias says rubbing her back. "I'm certainly not complaining." He leans in and kisses her lightly on the lips. "Christina is looking for you to clean your wound and change your bandage. Then it's probably time for breakfast."

"Alright," she says through a yawn. "I can't believe we slept in a chair last night."

"It was the best night sleep that I've gotten in ages," he smiles and kisses her once more. "You better get in there before Christina comes back out looking for you. For some, this could be considered scandalous."

"Not for Christina, she had a secret romance going on with my brother. Talk about scandalous, a white boy and a black girl in the south? They both would have been punished severely, but they were both good at hiding it."

"Well, Johanna is a bit more reserved so we don't want to offend her."

Tris nods and stands from his lap. She tightens the robe around her body and moves toward the front door. But before she can take the doorknob in her hand, Tobias takes her hand and pulls her to him. "Of course, I don't mind being a little offensive," he says and kisses her firmly on her lips. He wraps his arms around her waist and her hands move around his neck. "I could get used to this," he tells her breathlessly.

She smiles, "I could too." She pauses for a moment and kisses him once more. She whispers just for him to hear, "I need to go get ready for the day, and so do you, Colonel Eaton."

He smiles at the formality of the name but the intimate way she whispered it made him feel so much more. She laces her fingers with his and leads them into the house and up the stairs. When they are outside of her room, he kisses her once more and she releases her grip on his hand. She turns and moves into the room where Christina is sitting and waiting for her to enter.

* * *

Once Beatrice is in the room and the door is shut, she leans on the door, closes her eyes, and smiles hugely. After all of her past horrors, she never believed that she would feel like this. She never thought that she would meet a man that could evoke such emotions in her. But Tobias does. She doesn't know how he did it, but he managed to break down enough of her walls to find his way into her heart.

She looks up and sees Christina sitting on her bed smiling. "So you and the colonel? When did that happen?"

"I'm not sure actually. We've worked together a couple times. He even used me as bait to lure a group of Rebel soldiers into a trap once. He volunteered to go with me on a scouting mission. But I don't know when he managed to make his way into heart like this."

"Tris, after all you've been through you deserve it. He seems like a good man."

"He is Christina," Tris says smiling ear to ear.

"Well, I'm not sure I know what to do with a happy and in love Beatrice. I'm used to the surly and stubborn," Christina scoffs.

This comment causes Tris to stop, "In love? Do you really think I'm in love?"

"Tris, that's what that feeling is. You know the thing that makes you smile like you are, that makes your heart hammer in your chest and the fluttering in your stomach. Of course you're in love."

Tris looks at her friend in shock, she really didn't realize that this is what love feels like. Suddenly she feels sick to her stomach. She runs into the bathroom and throws up a little. She looks at herself in the mirror. 'Love?' she thinks. 'Is that possible?' Suddenly she feels nervous and terrified, her stomach is flipping around, is she really in love? She strips out of her robe and nightgown and gets into the bath, the entire time thinking about what her feelings really are. She's in love, she can't deny it to herself anymore, she really is in love. Once she's washed she replaces the robe and exits the bathroom.

"Are you alright?" Christina asks concerned.

"I'm fine, I'm just… in love," Tris declares.

Christina smiles, "Come here, let's get this wound of yours cleaned and covered so you can get dressed."

While Christina cleans and covers the wound, Tris talks to her. "Christina, he asked me not to return to the Army. When I told him that I needed to be near, he asked me to become a nurse with the Union Army. He said that way I could be near but away from the fighting."

"That might be a good idea, Tris."

"Would you come with me? I don't know if I could do that alone. I've always had Zeke with me in the Army. I don't know if I could do that kind of work alone," Tris pleads.

Christina smiles, "I absolutely would go with you. Especially if it keeps you out of the fighting."

Tris wraps her arms around her friend and hugs her tightly. She whispers her fear into Christina's ear, "What if he doesn't feel the same?"

"Tris are you kidding? It was obvious from the first time I saw you together. He is completely in love with you, but holding back because he's afraid to scare you off."

Just as Christina finishes her sentence, there's a knock on the door. Tris goes to the door and opens it to find Shauna standing there smiling at her.

"You slept on the porch with Tobias?" she asks with a smirk.

"It's nothing, Shauna."

Shauna looks deep into her cousin's eyes and suddenly smiles, "Oh my God, you're in love with him."

Tris drags her into the room and closes the door, "Shhh…. Shauna, stop it."

"You really are, aren't you?"

"Okay fine, maybe I am."

"Oh Tris," Shauna exclaims and pulls her into a hug. "He's such a good man and he's head over heels for you."

"See, I told you. We all have seen it. You were just too involved in the past to see what is right in front of you," Christina says.

Shauna nods her head in agreement, "Tris, he really is a great man. He's been friends with Zeke for years. There are not many people Zeke would trust with his life or the life of his family, but Tobias is definitely someone he trusts."

From down stairs they hear the Zeke calling to them, "Ladies, breakfast is ready."

Shauna takes Tris' hand, "Come on, let's go eat."


	12. Chapter 12

**Dear Guest reviewer, Please keep in mind that this is 1863 and women were not allowed in the military. Tris is disguising herself as a ****man**** in this story. The rules against men and women soldiers becoming romantically involved didn't exist because as far as they were concerned women didn't belong in the military so there were ****no female soldiers legally****. I know for fact that there were women that did disguise themselves as men in order to fight during this period for numerous reasons, one being because they didn't want to be separated from their husbands. So your comment about remembering that Tris is in the military doesn't fit this period. I don't post anything unless it is historically accurate. Research the actual battles that I reference, the dates, places, and who won the battles are all historically accurate, the rest is historical fiction. **

Chapter 12

The temperatures in late June are extraordinarily hot. After the recent thunderstorms moved out of the area, the sky became a clear shade of blue with a few puffy white clouds spotting across the blue. The sun high in the sky makes the warmth of summer almost unbearable in the Rebel's woolen grey uniforms.

Uriah sits upon his charcoal grey steed, looking out at the forest of trees in front of him. After their victory in Virginia against the Union, part of Ewell's soldiers pursued the Yankees toward the Mason Dixon while Uriah took his band of brutal killers toward the south to regroup and rest. Now he finds himself moving north again toward Pennsylvania. With a victory so far in the north, General Lee believes now is the time to push forward and break the Yankees is their own territory. Uriah couldn't agree more.

Since seeing his brother, he is convinced that they will cross paths again before this war is over. Part of him still longs for what could have been. They could be fighting side by side, winning this war together, but that will never happen. This war has separated the country, set brother against brother, and destroyed families.

He thinks about their childhood on the plantation in Southern Carolina, being separated by only two years in age, made them very close. They did everything together as children. They played pranks on their parents, on the neighbors, and on the slaves that worked the farms. They were the worst troublemakers in the area, but they always managed to evade getting caught because they were both such skilled riders and they had some of the fastest horses around.

The two of them often made promises for their future. Zeke was going to become a lawyer and Uriah was going to become a soldier. Together they were going to eventually become politicians and fix what they thought was wrong with the country, together. They often talked about what it would be like to be president or vice president and be able to change things. They were both very idealistic, Uriah realizes now as an adult. What he misses now, is their close relationship. He misses is brother and their long talks about anything and everything that came up in conversation. He misses having someone that he could rely on, no matter what was happening. They always supported each other, no matter the consequences.

Then Zeke met Shauna. She was a northern girl who was visiting her family's plantation. She was out riding with her cousin, a girl that lived on the plantation and came across Uriah and Zeke fishing in a creek near their home. The moment Zeke saw Shauna, he was smitten with her and Uriah had to admit that she was quite beautiful.

Shauna spent almost a year with her cousin on the plantation, and in that time Zeke began to spend more and more time with her, eventually asking permission from her uncle to court her. Once he was permitted to court her, he spent every waking moment with her. What Uriah didn't know was that during this time, Shauna was convincing Zeke to move to the north with her.

The day that Shauna was set to return to her family's home in Maryland, Zeke packed his belongings and declared to his parents that he was moving north to be with her. Uriah was furious, he screamed and yelled at his brother about abandoning their parents and him, but Zeke wouldn't hear of it.

Once the southern states succeeded from the Union to create the Confederate States of America, Uriah traveled to Maryland to bring Zeke back to fight by his side. What he found when he arrived was that Zeke and Shauna had married and that Zeke had enlisted in the Union army. The two brothers had a furious fight that left Uriah injured and the brothers declaring that they were no longer brothers.

Uriah pulls himself out of his stupor and refocuses on what's in front of him. He begins to lead his troops back through the forest of Virginia toward Maryland. The Rebels have made camp in Hagerstown, Maryland. General Lee has decided to move his troops toward Pennsylvania so Uriah is guiding his men toward Hagerstown to meet up with the 70,000 Confederate troops that will be moving into Pennsylvania.

* * *

Tobias knocks on Tris' door and waits for her to answer. They've been spending every possible moment together over the past couple days. Today is their last full day before Tobias and Zeke have to report back to their units.

Tris opens the door and smiles when she sees the handsome man who comes to call every morning.

"What do we have planned today, Colonel?" she asks smiling.

"I thought maybe we would take Abraxas and Bronte out for a ride this morning, if you're up for it."

Christina walks up behind Tris. She has just finished changing the bandage on Tris' wound and was about to leave when Tobias knocked. "She can ride, slowly and she has to be careful using her right arm. Hold the reigns with your left arm and don't do anything that would harm your right arm," Christina orders.

Tris snickers. She salutes Christina and tells her, "Yes mam!"

Christina scowls at her, "I mean it Tris. You are a long way from being healed and if you do something to rip open the wound or hurt the muscles that were injured, the damage could become permanent."

"Alright Christina, I get it."

"Don't worry, I won't let her do anything that will hurt her," Tobias assures Christina.

Christina scowls again, "Fine," she says and leaves the room to go to breakfast.

Tobias puts his hand out toward Tris, "Ready for breakfast, my lady?"

Tris smiles, "Yes I am, good sir."

They walk to the dining room together, hand in hand. When Zeke sees their show of affection, he is both happy and disturbed. They both deserve to find love, but with a war raging all around, either of them could die leaving the other devastated. Then he looks to his beautiful wife. He and Shauna married two years ago when they were twenty years old, right after the battle at Bull Run in July of 1861, which was the first major battle of the war. This is when it was clear that war was inevitable and he was going to be receiving orders to report to his unit soon. Instead of waiting, he and Shauna decided to marry before he left in case they didn't see each other again for a while. Three days after they married, Zeke received orders to report to his unit. It was another nine months before he saw his wife again and they've only seen each other three times over the last two years. There is nothing about being with Shauna, marrying her, or being with her that he would change. These are the things he has to remind himself about when he looks at Tobias and Tris. He can't help being protective of Tris, but he also has to remember that she's a grown woman who has proven time and time again that she is capable of taking care of herself.

Zeke relaxes and greets the pair when they sit at the table and the group begins to eat.

"What do the two of you have planned today since it's our last full day at home?" Zeke asks.

"We're going for a ride on the horses. I thought we would pack a picnic for lunch then return for dinner," Tobias says looking at Tris for confirmation.

She smiles, "That sounds wonderful."

They finish eating and the women go into the kitchen to prepare their picnic lunch while Zeke and Tobias sit at the table in silence. After a few minutes Zeke breaks the silence, "You really are falling in love with her, aren't you?"

"I think I'm beyond falling honestly, I think I'm already there," Tobias responds. "I was thinking about asking her to marry me, but I'm worried that it's too soon."

"I don't know what to tell you about that. You've only known her for about two months now, but I've also never seen her so happy, or you for that matter. I'm not going to tell you not to, but I am going to tell you to be sure about your feelings."

"Don't worry, Zeke. I'm sure of my feelings. I also wanted to tell you that I may have convinced her to become a nurse. The other night when we were outside watching the thunderstorm, we discussed it. I hope she wasn't just agreeing to appease me, I hope she meant it."

Zeke snickers, "I wouldn't be surprised if she agreed just to placate you, which would be something that Tris would do. She's agreed with me numerous times just to mollify me. It's infuriating, but that's Tris, infuriating and exhausting. Someday she will actually listen to someone, maybe this will be the day."

Tobias smiles, "You're just trying to make me feel better, aren't you?"

At that the ladies return to the dining room with a basket full of food and drinks that will be able to be mounted on one of the horses.

"Ready?" Tris asks.

Tobias smiles, "Absolutely."

* * *

Tobias and Tris ride their horses through the Philadelphia countryside. Tobias leads her east toward the Delaware River to a beach area next to the river. The whole time they ride, Tobias points out areas that were damaged and rebuilt after the Revolutionary War or buildings that survived the war. She smiles as she listens to what his descriptions about the area.

"You really know a lot about history and about the area."

"Well, I guess I find it important to know about the past so we can move forward and avoid the mistakes of the past."

"That makes sense," Tris says smiling.

When they arrive at the riverside, he helps her down from her horse. He gathers the food basket and the two of them walk toward the river. There's a small sandy area along the side of the river that's surrounded with wild flowers of all kinds. Every color in the rainbow can be found along the side of this river. Daisies, lilies, purple butterfly weed, mountain Laurel, and asters cover the land around the river. It's colorful and completely isolated from the booming city that they left not so long ago.

Tobias lays a blanket on the ground and places the basket on it. He takes Tris' hand and pulls her down onto the blanket with him.

"What do you think? I found this place when I was a kid. Since I grew up on a farm, being is such a large city got to be too much sometimes. I found this one day after a particularly long day of working."

"It's beautiful," Tris tells him. "I've never seen so many different types of flowers before."

Tobias smiles, "So the soldier likes flowers?"

She smiles, "I might be a soldier, but I'm still a girl."

He leans in and kisses her cheek, "I'm fully aware of that. Speaking of being a soldier, have you made a decision about what we talked about?"

"About becoming a nurse? I don't know, Tobias. I mean, I've been disguising myself as a man for so long that I don't know if I know how to not be a soldier."

"Tris, please. There's a huge battle coming. Zeke and I received word that there are Rebels moving toward Pennsylvania. When we move out tomorrow, we will assemble our regiments and move to intercept them."

"All the more reason for me to be involved. Tobias, I…" she stops when she sees the look on his face. She's not used to seeing his emotion displayed so predominantly on his face. He's usually so controlled and authoritative. But now, he's not. Now his feelings for her are displayed all over his face.

Tobias looks down, sadness evident in his expression. He doesn't show emotion often, but with her, he can't seem to help himself. He wishes he could convince her of how important it is for her to be safe.

"I'm sorry Tobias, I don't know what…" this time she's cut off by his lips being pressed to hers. He kisses her with all of the passion and desire he can put into a kiss. He pulls back and looks into her eyes but doesn't say anything more. He knows this woman. He knows how obstinate and willful she is. He wishes he could figure out something that would convince her to stay safe and away from the fighting, but he doesn't think anything he could do would convince her.

"You know something," she begins, "I do understand where you are coming from." She thinks about his point of view and realizes how the idea of him returning to fight breaks her heart. "But I just don't think I could be separated from you. I don't think I could sit here at your house and wait for you to return without knowing what's happening."

"Then become a nurse, you'd be the first to know what's happening but you would still be relatively safe. I mean you're still in a war and it is still dangerous, it isn't abnormal for the nurses and doctors to have to defend themselves and their patients from enemy soldiers when the hospital has gotten attacked. They could use someone that really knows how to be a soldier."

Then Tobias smiles a little, "What do you mean you can't be separated from me?"

She looks down, embarrassed that she actually said that out loud. Tobias takes her chin in his hand and lifts it so that she's looking into his eyes. "Tris, what are you thinking?"

Quietly, so quietly that she's not sure if he will hear her or not she says the words that have eluded her for so long now. She's never said these words to anyone and she's not sure why she feels the need to say them now. He's told her how he feels about her. He hasn't said the words directly, but the connotation is there, it has been for a long time now. "I... I can't be separated from you because I think, I love you."

He smiles at her, "You think?"

"No, I'm sure," she says just as quietly.

He kisses her cheek and looks into her eyes, "I love you too." He says the words firmly and unwaveringly. There's no doubt about his feelings and he's made sure that she hears him clearly.

She smiles slightly at him. She's nervous and afraid that if she meets his eyes she will see something different than the words that he's saying. The old fears of not being good enough and being too damaged begin to flood her mind. As soon as Tobias sees her expression, he decides to make his feelings more certain.

"Tris, I love you so much. I would like nothing more than for you to be my wife. Do you think you could find it in your heart to marry me?"

She looks at him in shock. This isn't the first time he's made a comment marriage, but she never actually believed his advances. She never imagined that anyone would look at her and see beyond the damaged girl who had everything taken away from her at such a young age. So when he made these comments before, she thought it was a game or that as soon as he really got to know her that he would change his mind and take it back. But now, he knows about her. He knows her deepest secrets and he didn't shy away from her, he only tried to bring her closer to him.

She smiles at this persistent and steadfast man sitting next to her. "I would be honored to be your wife," she tells him.

He smiles and pulls her into a hug.

They spend the rest of the day together on the side of the river, talking and even kissing a little. It's all very innocent and pure. Their love for one another is evident to each other and to anyone that would be near them.

When the sun begins to set, they clean up their picnic and mount their steeds to return to Tobias' home with the agreement that they would announcement their engagement over dinner that evening.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Zeke asks Tris quietly after she and Tobias made their announcement.

"Zeke," she says pulling her cousin into her embrace, "he loves me. He makes me happy and he wants to take care of me. He knows about my past and yet he still wants me."

"Tris, don't you understand that what happened to you is not your fault and any man worth anything would be able to forget about what that pig of a man did to you?"

She smiles again, "I know that, but Zeke, he is the first man that I have ever fallen in love with. I've never met any man that made me feel like he makes me feel."

"As long as you're sure," Zeke smiles. "So what now?"

"I try to follow my commanding officer's orders and stay safe. I stay here and heal with Shauna and Christina. And when I'm healed enough, Christina and I are joining the nursing unit."

Zeke shakes his head, "You just can't stay out of it, can you?"

She smiles and leads the way back into the dining room where the rest of their friends and family sit waiting.

"So," Shauna says when Tris and Zeke come back, "when is the wedding?"

Tobias looks to Tris and smiles, "I didn't tell her this, but I was hoping as soon as possible, like tomorrow."

"What? Why?" Tris asks looking shocked.

"I'm still a colonel and this is still a war, Tris. If something were to happen to me, I want to make sure that you are taken care of."

Tris immediately starts to tear, "I don't want…"

"Tris, I want to make sure you have what you need. If we aren't married, you have no claim to my house or anything else that belongs to me. I want it all to be yours too. Please, we could go to the preacher and marry tonight. Zeke and I have to leave out tomorrow morning."

Tris looks from Tobias to Zeke. Zeke's like her big brother and other than Shauna, the only real family that she has around her.

Zeke smiles. He knows that Tobias is right; it was part of the reason that he and Shauna got married so quickly. Besides, when you've met your soul mate, there's no reason to not to begin the rest of your life as soon as possible.

"But, I don't have a dress or anything special to wear."

"Actually," Shauna interjects, "Christina went into town today while you were out on your date. We found this." Shauna gestures toward Christina who is now standing and holding a beautiful baby blue and white dress.

"It should fit you perfectly," Christina tells her.

Tris looks completely overwhelmed. She looks to Zeke again and he smiles and nods, giving his blessing. Tris smiles a little, "I guess the only other thing to ask is if Zeke would give me away?"

Zeke is the one that now looks surprised. He stands and walks toward her. He pulls her into his embrace and kisses the top of her head, "It would be an honor."

"Johanna, could you go into town and talk to the preacher?" Tobias asks.

Johanna nods and smiles. She leaves the house immediately for town.

"We should get you ready," Shauna says.

When they are alone in Tris' room, she turns to Shauna and Christina and asks, "How did you two know he was going to propose and ask me to marry him before they leave?"

"We didn't," Christina says, "but I think we both had an idea. Besides, with the war going on, it wouldn't be worth it to wait."

"Tobias is a very realistic person, Tris. He knows that he may not make it out of this war alive. He also knows that he wants to be the one to take care of you and be with you, so marriage is the most logical way for him to do that."

"At least I get to choose him. If I would have stayed in Carolina, my father would have married me off to the next man that would have asked for my hand. If it were up to him, I would have married that older man four years ago."

Christina smiles, "You love Tobias. I've never seen you happier than when you are with him."

"I'm really going to do this, aren't I?" Tris smiles nervously.

Shauna smiles and walks up to Tris, "Yes you are and you are going to be a good wife."

* * *

Tobias stands in front of a mirror, adjusting his uniform. His medals shining from being polished when he had the uniform cleaned when he arrived in his home. The navy blue of the uniform bringing out his dark ocean blue eyes. All of the sudden he starts to feel nervous. He was so sure of this just a little while ago, why is he now suddenly so nervous?

Zeke walks in and sees his friend looking pale and a bit scared. "Nervous are you?" Zeke asks smirking.

"I don't know why. It's not questions about her."

"Tobias, we're in a war. What's not to be nervous about? You are daring to try to plan a future with this woman and tomorrow you are going out and will soon be involved in another battle. The Rebels are on their way. It is a very scary time. I'll admit, I'm scared too."

"Why?" Tobias asks.

"Because the entire time we've been here, Shauna and I have been trying to get pregnant. By the time I return she hopefully will be pregnant or even possibly, I will be a father. We are daring to look for a future in the middle of a war."

Tobias smiles at his friend, "Well, I guess we will just have to come home. I do have one question though, how long do you think she will stay away?"

"I don't know," Zeke says shaking his head. "She said that she and Christina are already planning on joining our units as nurses. How long it lasts before she puts on a uniform and resumes being James, I don't know."

"Do you think there is any chance that I could convince her…?"

Zeke cuts him off, "You know her as well as I do, what do you think?"

Tobias smirks, "I think we'll be seeing James again, soon."

They walk out of the room and wait in the foyer for the ladies to emerge from the upstairs. When Tobias sees his beautiful bride he's speechless. Her dress is a beautiful shade of baby blue that accentuates her eyes. The top of the dress is corseted and covered in white lace up to her throat. The sleeves are long, covered in white lace with puffy sleeves of blue satin. The floor length skirt is blue satin with white lace accents.

She walks slowly up to him. It's been a very long time since she's worn such a beautiful dress. Most of her dresses since she left the plantation have been simple floor length dresses in solitary colors. This dress is so extravagant compared to what she's used to wearing.

Johanna steps forward, "The preacher is waiting at the chapel for us. He was more than happy to oblige, Colonel Eaton."

"Thank you, Johanna. I appreciate that you went out of your way to set this up for us. Well everyone, are we ready to go?"

Christina hesitates, "Is it okay that we go?"

Tobias smiles at her, "Of course it is. You are our friend."

"Christina, I want you to stand up for me. I need you by my side with Shauna."

Christina smiles, "Thank you, all of you."

The six of them walk across town toward the chapel. The late June evening is very warm and the sun is beginning to set in the east, casting pinks and oranges across the horizon. The sun itself looks to be a strange but beautiful shade of pink and orange and the atmosphere casts shadows like wavy lines across its surface. The clouds reflect the pinks, oranges, and blues of the sky with some white dotting the horizon. In the west you can just see the moon starting to take over the night sky and the first star of the night is visible just to the right of the moon.

Tris looks to the horizon and smiles at the beauty spread out before her. She and Tobias walk toward the chapel with their friends in tow.

The preacher waits for them at the altar of the chapel smiling, "Hello Colonel Eaton."

Tobias smiles, "Hello Preacher. Thank you for doing this on such short notice."

"It's my pleasure. And this beautiful young lady must be your bride?"

"Yes, this is Beatrice Prior."

The preacher took her hand and kissed it, "It's a pleasure to meet you miss."

Tris smiled, "You also, sir."

The preacher starts speaking of love and devotion, and of the deep and abiding love between a man and a woman who have decided to spend their lives together. He speaks of the role of the husband as the protector and the wife as the homemaker.

Tris looks to Tobias with tears in her eyes as she listens to the preacher and they exchange their vows of love and loyalty.

After the ceremony, Tris and Tobias were pronounced husband and wife. They happily make their way back to their home where Mary had stay behind to prepare a cake and other snacks for everyone.

The group happily sits together in the dining room. After a short amount of time, Tobias turns to his bride, "I think it's time for me to spend some time with my wife before I have to leave tomorrow."

Tris smiles and blushes. Tobias takes her hand; he pulls her up with him and leads her away to the upstairs bedroom.

Zeke smiles, "I guess it's time that we should all turn in also." He and Shauna get up and excuse themselves from the other ladies at the table.

Tris leaves the bathroom in a nightgown and robe. She looks toward her husband nervously as he pulls his shirt off and hangs it with his uniform. This is the first time that she's ever seen him without a shirt on, the sight of him makes her heart race and her stomach flutter.

Tobias turns to his bride and sees her standing in the middle of the room looking nervously toward him. He smiles at her and quickly closes the distance between them and pulls her into his embrace. He presses his lips to hers and she melts into his arms.

That night Tris and Tobias lie in bed together, her head on his chest and his arms wrapped securely around her, pulling her tight to his side. They stay silent, enjoying one another's presence for a long time. Finally Tobias speaks quietly without looking at her.

"I wish you would stay here and safe. I wish you wouldn't even consider going back, even as a nurse."

She stays quiet for a while, listening to the beat of his heart and his breathing. The thought of him going back and possibly losing him makes her heart break a little and brings tears to her eyes. She begins to speak quietly, "I don't know if I can sit here not knowing what's going on like Shauna does. It would make me crazy. At least if I'm a nurse, I would know if you are okay or not. I'm not the kind of woman that sits idly by waiting for a man to take care of me."

"I know you aren't, Tris. I just want a wife to come home to. If you came back as James, I could lose you. I don't think I could survive if something happened to you. Please promise me that James will not come back."

"That's how I feel, I don't think I can survive this without you," Tris says. "But I promise to try to stay out of the battle. I promise to try to stay safe."

Tobias kisses the top of her head and looks down at her in hopes that she will keep this promise. He knows this woman though and he knows that she's stubborn and bullheaded. He says a silent prayer that she will stay safe and be here when the war is over and he returns to her.

"I love you, Beatrice," he tells her.

"I love you too," she says quietly into his chest.

* * *

Tobias and Zeke arrive back with their units in time to meet with the General in charge. General Meade will be collaborating on the coming Rebel invasion. When they arrive in the General's tent, they are met by five other officers that neither of them is acquainted with.

"Colonel Monroe, Colonel Eaton, thank you for joining us. This is Colonel Richards from the Fifth New York, Colonel Starr from the Sixth Pennsylvania Cavalry, Major Cassin from the fifteenth New York, Colonel Crocker from the 93rd New York, and Captain Read from the eighth United States. Gentlemen, this is Colonel Monroe of the Second Pennsylvania Cavalry and Colonel Eaton of the United States Battalion. Alright, now that introductions are done, we have intelligence from our scouts that tells us that Lee and his armies are headed straight for Pennsylvania. They will arrive in the area within the coming days. We have scouts spread around the area of central Pennsylvania because we believe that they aren't going to invade as one unit. They will also send scouts or small bands of soldiers ahead. We also anticipate that some may simply go out looking for food and shelter from some of the small towns in the area."

"Where have they been seen?" Cpt. Read asks.

"Cpt. Monroe and his cavalry has been spotted just outside of Hagerstown, Maryland which is only half a day's ride from the Pennsylvania border. A fight is coming gentlemen, and it's coming soon."

* * *

**July 1, 1863**

Uriah and his soldiers ride toward Gettysburg, Pennsylvania behind a band of twenty-five hundred Rebel soldiers. Their intention was to march on Harrisburg and take the capitol, that is, until the fighting began.

There's a bugle call and the sound of rifle fire across the fields of crops just outside of Gettysburg. Uriah pushes his men forward toward the sound of fighting. When they arrive at the top of the hill, they find Confederate cannons lining ridge, ready to fire.

Across on another ridge is the 8th Illinois cavalry, dismounting and making a line across an adjoining ridge.

Uriah shouts for his men to move forward toward the Yankees. Through a barrage of Union fire, Uriah's men advanced. Behind them the Rebel cannons opened fire, sending shell after fiery shell into the enemy. The air all around them is thick with smoke and the smell of gunpowder making it nearly impossible to see.

The constant onslaught of cannon fire and the sheer number of Confederates to Union soldiers forced the Union back toward Gettysburg.

* * *

The Rebels continued to push the Union back toward Seminary Ridge in Gettysburg, but what they didn't know was there were Union soldiers lead by Colonels Eaton and Richards moving over the fields to cover Seminary Ridge.

Tobias' infantry took the lead, marching toward the fighting while Richards' soldiers followed to fortify their position. Shells burst in the air and across the land as the cannons continued their assault. Tobias and the rest of his soldiers continued to fire into the Rebel lines, taking out soldiers one by one.

Behind the infantry pressing forward, Colonels Monroe and Starr sit with their cavalry along Cemetery Hill. With them is the entire 8th United States lead by Major Cassin covering the hill. Soon more infantry soldiers joined their fortification while others marched toward the fighting at Seminary Ridge.

* * *

The Confederates continued to push the Yankees back through town forcing them back to Cemetery Ridge.

Lee called General Ewell and Uriah to meet with him. Lee ordered Ewell to seize the high ground from the battle weary Yankees "if practicable." When Ewell and Uriah rode toward their soldiers, Ewell looked hesitant, like he didn't agree with Lee's orders.

"What are you doing?" Uriah asked when they arrived back to their command. Ewell didn't give the order.

"He left the decision up to me, Major. He said 'if practicable,' I don't find this to be a very realistic command."

"General, we have the man power, we should seize the ground while we still can."

"Stand down, Major. This is my decision. We will hold our position."

Uriah grumbled in defeat. He knows that Lee's orders should be followed, in spite of his poor choice of words when he told Ewell to advance if it was feasible. Uriah believes that giving Ewell that choice, might have been a very bad idea.

* * *

The Rebels stop advancing, so the Union troops dig in along Cemetery Ridge. Behind them, reinforcements with artillery begin to arrive and line the ridge.

The fighting stops as the Union retreats. The Confederates begin to take down fences around town and search homes for any injured or hiding Yankee solders. Uriah, Peter, and Drew enter a home and find a woman and her son hiding in the basement.

"Are there any Yankees hiding in this house?" Peter demands from the woman.

"My son and I are Yankees," the woman says calmly.

Drew growls at her, "Soldiers Woman. Are there any soldiers."

"No," she says firmly, "there are no Union soldiers in my basement."

"You two, go search the rest of the house, I'll check here," Uriah commands.

Peter and Drew ascend the stairs to the rest of the house while Uriah pokes around the barrels and boxes in the basement searching for hiding places. When he is satisfied that there is no one hiding in the basement, he takes leave of the woman and her son.

When he arrives in the kitchen, he finds Peter and Drew with two Yankees standing in the kitchen.

"We should go kill the woman for lying," Drew says to Uriah. "These two were upstairs hiding in a closet."

"The woman didn't know they were up there. Who knows how long she and her son have been in that basement. Take these two out and put them with the other prisoners."

Peter and Drew do as ordered. Uriah looks around the home one last time before joining his troops on the other side of Gettysburg where the Confederates have dug in for the night.

* * *

Shauna, Tris, and Christina sit on the porch of Tobias' home in Philadelphia, enjoying the summer evening. It's a beautiful night, but none of the women are enjoying it. News of the battle in Gettysburg has spread quickly to Philadelphia as more and more Union troops make their way to the battle.

The women watched as wave after wave of Union troops marched out of town toward the battle. Now just half a day since word of the battle spread across town, the streets are quiet. The women sit silently, not talking about what is happening or what could have happened to their husbands.

Finally after a long silence, "I need to go back," Tris announces.

"You aren't healed," Christina argues.

"I don't care. I know I promised to wait, but I can't. I can't sit here idly waiting for them to come back knowing that they are fighting for their lives."

Shauna looks angrily at Tris, "And what about their lives. You know if you are there, they will do everything in their power to keep you safe, including putting their lives on the line for you. How can you be so selfish."

"Selfish!? I need to help them, that's not selfish."

"When it puts my husband in danger, it is. He told you that we've been trying to get pregnant. What of our child? Would you have him grow up without a father just so you can satisfy some need for justice?"

Tris looks at her cousin in shock, "I don't have a need for justice. I have a need to be with my husband. I'm a good soldier, I should be with my regiment."

"I need to be with my husband too. But here I sit because this is what he needs from me. Not for me to go and put myself in danger. I can shoot a gun just as straight as you. Does that mean I should put on a man's uniform and go out there and a fight?"

Tris doesn't know what to say. She sits in silence for a while as angry tears fill her eyes. She hasn't felt this helpless since she was sixteen years old. She stares out into nothingness as the summer evening turns dark.

There's been no news of the battle since the original news came across. There's no way of knowing if the Union is winning or losing, how many causalities there are and who.

Finally after a long silence between the women, Tris speaks, "What about going back as a nurse. They are going to need nurses to care for the injured. I can do that."

"Tris, your shoulder isn't healed. It's weak and basically useless right now. What are you going to do? You won't be able to lift anyone or really help anyone because you will reinjure yourself. And what if those doctors find out that you've been shot, they will ask questions," Christina pushes.

"We'll make something up. We'll tell them that I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time or something. Christina, I need to do this… Please."

Christina shakes her head, "If you're going. Then I'm going with you."

"What?! No, you can't do this. Tris, he asked you to stay here. He wants you to be safe."

"Shauna, when have I ever been the kind of woman that sits back and lets a man tell me what I should do? Tobias knows me. He knows that I'm not going to sit here. I promised I wouldn't go back as a soldier. He told me if I had to go back, to do it as a nurse. It was his idea."

* * *

**A/N**

**The first day at Gettysburg—more significant than simply a prelude to the bloody second and third days—ranks as the 23rd biggest battle of the war by number of troops engaged. About one quarter of Meade's army (22,000 men) and one third of Lee's army (27,000) were engaged. Union casualties were almost 9,000, Confederate slightly more than 6,000 after the first day alone.**

**And thanks to NYCgirl166 for checking out this chapter for me again! **


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**July 2, 1863**

As the dawn takes over the early morning, the blues, purples, pinks, and oranges of the sunrise take over the sky over Gettysburg. The silence of the fields and the beauty of the morning could almost lead one to forget where they are and what is happening all around them. Gettysburg is a beautiful farming community in the rolling hills of central Pennsylvania. How this war found this place, this quiet little community, is unknown. But now here they are, the people of the town, having to share their land, their homes, and their lives with soldiers, blood, and devastation.

Zeke sits upon his mare taking in the beautiful morning sky but watching as the Union soldiers move around him on Little Round Top, positioning themselves like pieces in a chess game. The fresh Union forces were arriving from the Army of the Potomac to reinforce the severely damaged Union lines. There was no doubt that yesterday's battles won the Rebels the upper hand here. These reinforcements and the others that weren't far away were a welcome sight to the worn colonel.

Just out of sight Rebel forces were once again maneuvering themselves for another attack on the Union. With the Union having kept control of the high ground, they felt they had the upper hand in what was to come.

Zeke sits alone, listening to the sounds of shouting and small skirmishes throughout the land around him. He doesn't see where these battles are occurring, but the rising sun brings the visions of smoke from the firing of rifles and cannons, resembling fog below the hill that he sits upon. Even if he were part of the fighting that happening right now, he still wouldn't be able to see well.

He thinks about just a few days ago, having been in the arms of his beloved wife in a safe place with no fighting and bloodshed. Surrounded by friends and family, he was happy and content. Today, after having lost about a fourth of his troops in yesterday's battles, he worries if he will see his beloved again. This battle yielded so many deaths in one day, worse than almost any other battle that he's been involved in to now. It's a frightening thought that he may never see her again. He may never know if she is with child or not and if she is, what that child would be and what they would look like. He realizes that he hasn't seen Tobias since before the fighting began yesterday. A feeling of worry and sadness engulfs him even more. If something happens to Tobias, Tris may not survive it. She allowed him into her life, something that is quiet unlike this girl who's withstood so much to defy her family and the life that she lived. Without him, that girl will throw herself into this war and probably meet him sooner than she should.

The sounds of the battles grow around Little Round Top. Cannon fire echoes throughout the small farming town. He looks out beyond where he sits and is saddened for the people in the homes below. They didn't ask to be shoved smack in the middle of the fighting, but they are doing what they can to help the Union troops, without angering the Rebels. So far it seems that many of them have escaped their town for safer places.

Zeke leads his mare down the back side of Little Round Top toward where the group of soldiers are waiting to be given their orders for the day. By the looks on their faces, many of them know that today they are going to die. Many will not be returning to their families and friends after this day and they know it. But yet they still sit here and await their deaths with dignity and bravery. The sight is quite impressive.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a majestic black stallion moving through the Union ranks toward him. He's happy to see the sad but playful smirk of his friend and now cousin, Tobias.

"Where have you been? Where are your troops?" Zeke asks him when he gets close enough.

"We are dug in on Cemetery Ridge awaiting our commands. I came to see what's happening. There are battles all around, but yet we await our commands," Tobias tells him.

"Right now we wait. There are Rebel forces moving, just where they are moving, no one seems to be sure."

Tobias bows his head looking sullen, "I can't believe just a couple days ago I was marrying the most beautiful woman and now I'm here, waiting for my death or the death of others."

Zeke doesn't respond, he agrees with those sentiments exactly.

* * *

Christina wakes to the sound of Tris and Shauna shouting at each other from the hall. Their anger and frustration evident in the sound of their voices. She moves to open her door and is greeted by an angry Union soldier. On second glance, she realizes that this isn't any normal Union soldier, its Tris.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" Christina asks her.

"Don't you start too! I need to go, I need to see…"

"Stop there. Tris you can't do this. You promised him you wouldn't return like this."

"Christina, I have to. Why won't you two understand this?" Tris shouts.

"There's nothing to understand, Tris," Shauna shouts back with frustration evident in her voice. "You are selfishly going to go in there and risk your life just so you can be part of what's going on. You promised your husband that you would heal and stay safe. You promised Zeke the same thing."

Christina goes into her room and takes an unloaded pistol from her nightstand. She emerges from her room with the gun and extends her arm to Tris. "Take the gun in your right hand, extend your arm, pull the hammer back and pull the trigger. If you can do all of that with your injured arm, then I won't stand in your way. I'll even go with you as a nurse."

Tris looks skeptically at Christina while Shauna looks horrified. "What are you doing, Christina?" Shauna growls.

Christina doesn't respond. She simply watches as Tris takes the gun in both hands and extends her arms.

"No, your right arm only. If you are riding you will only be shooting with one hand, your right hand."

Tris glares at her and removes her left hand from her right. She extends her right arm and the gun drops immediately to the ground. She leans down and retrieves the gun from the ground and tries again. No matter how hard she tries and how much effort she expels, she can't raise and aim the pistol like she should be able to, she can't even keep a good grip on the weapon to keep it securely in her hand. After a few long moments of trying desperately to hold the gun appropriately, she can't. She drops it back to the ground and glares at Christina.

"I'm sorry Tris, but you have nerve damage in your arm and hand. You can't even hold a gun properly, let alone shoot it. How are you going to defend yourself? How could you even help anyone as a nurse right now? You need to give this time and let yourself heal."

"You knew that would happen," Tris accuses.

"Of course I did. I know the extent of your injury, that's my job, that's why I was brought here. You will be no good to anyone if you go back and get yourself killed. Think of Tobias. Do you want to be the reason that he gets killed, because if you go back he will put his life on the line to keep you safe? You will kill him."

Tears begin to form in Tris' eyes and threaten to spill over and down her cheeks. The sadness, frustration, and fury that she's feeling fueling her emotions. She glares from Shauna to Christina and growls, "Fine." She stalks back to her room where she finally allows the tears to fall down her cheeks. She removes the soldier's uniform and replaces it with a simple blue dress. She throws herself on the bed and allows herself to expel all of the sadness, frustration, and anger that she's feeling through her tears. After some time, a knock sounds on her door and in spite of her ignoring the visitor, they open the door and enter, sitting on her bed next to her.

"Tris I'm sorry," Christina says. "But I made a promise to your husband and to Zeke. You have to know your limitations and understand that your actions have consequences. That is something that you have never been good with."

Tris glares at her, "What do you mean?"

"Being so defiant to your parents, that's why your father tried to marry you off at sixteen. You wouldn't conform to your father's expectations. He felt his daughter should be accommodating and submissive to his ways. You refused to behave the way he wanted so when that man wanted to marry you, he was all too happy to make you someone else's problem. So when that man raped you, to your father, that was the consequence for not listening to him, but the real consequence was losing your brothers."

"Are you seriously saying the consequence for not listening to my father was the death of Caleb and Will moving away?" Tris asks angrily.

"No, Caleb's death and Will's departure were the consequences of the volatile relationship you had with your parents. Will and Caleb knew it was only a matter of time before they could escape to the north. They had intended on taking you with them, but that night changed everything."

"They were planning on escaping and taking me with them?"

"Yes, they were."

"Why did I never know this?" Tris asks with more tears.

"Because they knew you would be impatient and they needed to be able to plan everything perfectly. They were going to take me too."

"Then why did Will leave alone?"

"Because at that point, he needed to get away. He didn't have confidence that he could do it without Caleb. So he did what he needed to do."

Tris looks shocked at Christina, "How do you know all of this?"

"Because, Will came to find me before he left. He told me what was happening and why. He apologized for not taking me with him. He left me that day crying and longing for a life that could never be."

Just then, there's a knock on the door. Shauna opens the door carefully, worried about what Tris might say or what she might walk in on.

When Tris sees her, she suddenly realizes what she was doing and what Shauna is going through, because it's exactly what she's going through. The horrifying realization that she tried to make her pain seem so much worse than Shauna's hits her when she sees the tears shining in Shauna's eyes.

"Shauna, I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me. I'll stay and heal, I promise. I'll only go back as a nurse and only after I've healed."

Shauna smiles, "Tris, I'm sorry too. I didn't… I wouldn't…"

"I know Shauna," Tris says. "It's okay."

* * *

General James Longstreet moves his army along with Captain Uriah Monroe's horsemen into position to begin attacks against the Union left to be coordinated en echelon to break the Union lines. Their orders were to take Cemetery Hill and crush the Union troops who were stationed around and on Cemetery Ridge.

Uriah stood in his stirrups at the front of his brigade and shouted, "Fix bayonets, my brave men! Forward and take those heights!" His orders were to cross the Emmitsburg Road and wheel left, moving north with his left flank guiding on the road. Uriah leads his men forward toward the Yankee line, sitting high on his horse so his men can see him and follow him, he is high enough though that the Yanks have a clear shot at him.

A barrage of artillery shells burst overhead, the deafening sounds disorienting all of the Confederate soldiers under Uriah's command. Yet they push forward, refusing to back down, they are going to follow the commands of their superiors or be damned.

A shot rings out that doesn't stand out from the rest, but what is special about this particular shot is that it hits its intended target. Uriah is thrown from his steed by the force of the shot that hit him. The burning and fierce pain he feels in his left arm are worse than he's ever felt. The wound to his arm is such that the pain immediately renders him unable to get up and move back to his horse to continue the march toward the Yankee lines.

"Move forward men," he shouts from where he lies. His division moving forward to the east, no longer under his command or any other's.

As Uriah slowly pulls himself off of the ground, his left arm hanging limp at his side, the sounds of shouting and the war raging around him force work harder to move so he can live. He slowly makes his way to his steed where he just barely pulls himself up into his mount. The blinding pain wreaking havoc throughout his body while a steady stream of blood streams from the missing skin and muscle that was ripped from his arm. He maneuvers his horse away from the field of battle and towards where he hopes to find help before he bleeds out and becomes just another soldier, dead in the fields of Gettysburg.

His troops push forward and attempt to enter the Yankee lines. With out their leader, however, they are like a group of children who are unsupervised. Some of them push forward desperate for carnage and blood. Some retreat in an attempt to preserve their lives. None of them takes the hill as what was intended.

* * *

As night falls on the second day of battle, Tobias finds himself in the thick of an apparent losing battle. Left and right he loses troops the onslaught of Rebels trying to take Cemetery Hill. In a last ditch effort to save their position and push the Rebels back, Tobias makes a decision that could kill him. In a final desperate action, Tobias orders his troops forward.

"Bayonets fixed men!" he shouts above the noise of the battle. "Push them back. Don't let the Rebs take the hill."

Suddenly a wave of navy blue erupts from their positions at the top of the hill and pushes forward firing and slicing their way through the grey below. Tobias leading the charge into the ranks of the Confederates below. Cannons exploding on both sides, the barrage of rifle fire cutting through the air, the Union troops descending to take on the Confederates man to man.

* * *

The battle rages on Little Round Top and Zeke knows that his men are losing ground. In an effort to save Little Round Top and stop the Rebels from advancing, Zeke orders his men to attack and push them back. His decision to order the last minute bayonet charge caused the loss of a great deal of Union soldiers, but they maintained their position and forced the Rebels back, holding Little Round Top for the Union.

The battle finally begins to die down after midnight. After over eighteen hours of planning and fighting, Zeke finds himself mentally and physically exhausted. His thoughts move to Shauna and Tris at home and to Tobias, he wonders what's happened around his position, specifically to Tobias. A scout reported that they had seen Tobias' Army rushing the enemy on Cemetery Hill, trying to hold their position. He knows Tobias, he's not the kind of soldier to hold back and give orders without moving with his men. He can only hope that Tobias has survived to see another day and to return to his bride.

* * *

**Sorry about my hiatus, I hope you enjoy this chapter. The second day of fighting found the Confederates winning the battles and in better positions than the Union. It was the effort of soldiers that put themselves and their units in harms way, basically going on suicide missions to hold their ground. The efforts of both Tobias and Zeke in this chapter were real scenarios that happened. Soldiers pushing forward against all odds and forcing the Confederates back, holding their ground leading into the third day of fighting. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**These are excerpts of real letters from soldiers in Gettysburg to their family members back at home. The letters in their entirety are not real, I had to make them so they more realistically from my characters. I hope you enjoy. **

My Dearest Wife,

I write you a few lines to inform you that I am alive and well. I should have written you before but there has been no chance to send mail and I don't know when I can send this.

We have had a great battle, I believe the greatest in the war. The same day I wrote to you we were ordered to report to our old Corps, the 2nd Corps, just as I expected it would be if there was a fight expected. On the 1st of July we went in about 5 p.m.

When the artillery ceased, a whole division charged out of the woods.

The enemy were advancing in heavy column. We fought them falling back as they advanced until we checked them and drove them back. That was the first time they ever charged our battery. We lost several men wounded but got our battery off all right. At dark we changed our position a little.

Everything was quiet except the sharpshooters until about noon on the 2nd July, when they opened the greatest artillery fire on us that ever was witnessed. We could see them all the forenoon getting their batteries in position but wasn't allowed to open on them. The cannonading was very rapid on both sides for about two hours. When the artillery ceased, a whole division charged out of the woods. They had to cross an open field of about 100 rods to get to us. They suffered terribly getting to us but they marched up as tigers keeping perfect line until they could almost put their hands on our guns but few of them lived to get back. They were killed or taken prisoners. ...

We lost 11 men killed and 20 wounded. We lost about 50 horses. My horse was shot among the rest. Amos Maynard and Happy Wright were among the killed. Our first lieutenant was severely wounded and our captain was killed. He had only been with us one day. I was struck with a piece of shell on the leg. It tore my pants and lamed me a little but not to stop me from fighting as well as ever.

Good-bye from your beloved husband,

Zeke

My Dearest Shauna,

After the second day of battles here in Gettysburg, I'm brought to thinking about the promises we made to each other and our attempts to create a family together. I almost didn't come back to you today. Our unit was under heavy artillery fire and we had to force the enemy back with bayonet and rifle. We are here and well, although we've lost countless men and are sorely outmanned, we still maintain the upper hand holding the high ground.

Our Corps held our ground and pushed the enemy back, and just in time to save our army from a total defeat, as it appeared at the time. Our Corps went into it splendidly, driving the rebels in every direction and recapturing the artillery that the 5th Corps had lost. Our regiment had but one man wounded. We were right in were the balls flew thick and fast, and how we got off so well I do not see.

Now the late night yields little light as we try to eat and rest in order to battle against the Rebs tomorrow and hopefully put this battle to an end with victory. That we are pretty well tired out you can well imagine. I think I never knew hunger, thirst & fatigue before-but I lay down under the stars and thank God that he's spared your husband to his darling wife. Though I am saddened when I consider the hundreds who have fallen on my every side, I am happy as I am still spared unharmed to my wife.

With my every breath I miss your touch and your gaze upon me. Though my duty keeps me with my men, my desperate desire to be with my wife us unwavering and will God willing, keep me safe from harm and bring me home, into your warm and loving embrace.

My mind drifts to Tobias now as I worry for my own family, I think of my now extended family. I received word just after we ceased fire tonight that Tobias' unit had been pinned down on Cemetery Hill. He commanded his me much like I did to push forward into the Rebel forces to push them back. As of this moment, just after midnight on July 3, I have received no word of Tobias' whereabouts or his condition. I'm hoping to receive word before I send this letter out to you, I'd like to be able to send good news to Tris about her beloved. But as of now, Tobias' whereabouts are unknown to everyone in my vicinity and with night heavily upon us, it would be impossible for me to find him.

Know that with this letter I am thinking of you and count the days until I am reunited with my beloved wife.

Yours in Love,

Zeke

My Dearest,

Please let Tris know that Tobias is fine. He emerged from the fighting unharmed in spite of the heavy losses his unit withstood. With this good news, comes bad news as well. It doesn't appear that our triumphs have earned us a victory. General Meade called a meeting with all of the commanding officers to determine if the Army of the Potomac should withdraw from this battle and allow the Rebs to take the field. This is where I was finally able to find Tobias among the other commanders.

It was determined that we would not be retreating from the battle and although I agree with this decision, I would not feel well about the Rebs being so close to you and the others, the decision to continue to fight this battle comes with a heavy heart. The causalities have been astronomical. At the end of the second day our estimated death toll has reached almost 20,000 soldiers. This battle could easily turn out to be the bloodiest of the war thus far. Please pray for our safe and quick return to you.

All my Love,

Zeke

* * *

Following their meeting with General George Meade, Zeke felt a wave of relief, apprehension, and anxiety overtake him. They won't be retreating, as was Meade's question upon their arrival, but that means that they will be continuing to fight come daybreak. Although he agrees with the decision, he feels apprehension about the battles to come. He was happy to find that Tobias had also made it through the day unharmed. He not only worries for the wellbeing of Shauna, he worries for Tris as well. She's been through so much throughout her life that he worries that if she loses Tobias also, she may not recover from it.

He readies himself for a couple hours of sleep thinking back to the events of the past few days and desperately wishing he was away from the sounds of death and destruction and in the arms of his beautiful wife. He knows she hasn't figured out if she's pregnant or not yet, that is something she won't know for at least a few weeks but he hopes, especially now, that they were able to create a new life. At least is something happened to him, Shauna would have their child, a small piece of him that she would have to remember him for the rest of her life.

He has to stop thinking like that. He was going to get through this, he had to. He had to be able to return to his beloved wife. He couldn't lie down and allow himself to be taken down by the Rebels, he would fight and win. He had to, for Shauna.

* * *

To my Love, Beatrice,

At the end of our second day of fighting in Gettysburg, I sit and worry that we will be here for a long time. The last two days have been full of some of the hardest and bloodiest fighting that I have yet seen. I am brought back to just a few days ago when I married you my love and I am saddened that we did not have more time together before I had to be on my way to this God forsaken place.

Gettysburg would be a lovely little farming community if not for all of the blood and destruction that currently surrounds it.

Today was the hardest musketry that I have ever seen in my life. The boys had all been anxious to get into it. When the Rebs pushed forward we were forced to charge them. Then about nightfall we found out that the Rebs were leaving their position and trying to get in the rear of us. We were able to head them off and drove them back.

Then we fell back to where we made camp on Cemetery Hill. Here we remain as we await what tomorrow will bring us. We found that we have lost almost 20,000 men, almost as many as we lost in the Battle of Sharpsburg last year. As I sit the smell of lead and sulfur and death overwhelms us. Although the gun and cannon fire have ceased for tonight the sounds of war have not. The moans and groans of the wounded reach my ears now that the screech of shot, roar of cannon, explosion of shells, and whistle of bullets have died down. The latter sounds are far more easily taken than the cries of the injured men.

I think of you fondly and miss seeing you. My hope is that you are healing well and find yourself in good company with Shauna and Christina. I will see you soon, my love. My hope is the end of this battle will bring the end of the war and bring me back home again to you.

Your loving husband,

Tobias

* * *

Tobias lies in his sleeping bag, sleep overtaking him quicker than he realized that it would. Following the day's events, he's not sure how he even had enough energy to meet with General Meade after midnight let alone write his feelings into a letter for his beloved wife. Sadness and a desperate need to wrap himself in his new bride's arms overwhelms him and forces him to let out a long sigh.

He barely made it through the day today. When he decided to order his men to attack the Rebels in hand to hand combat, he didn't actually believe for one moment that he would make it through the day. Just before he rushed forward with his men to take the field and push the Rebs back, he thought about his bride, his beautiful Beatrice, waiting at home for him. He thought of all of the things that he may never do with her. He thought of the family and the life he may never have if he dies on the field of battle. Now here he is. By some miraculous twist, he survived. He felt like he was surrounded by body armor while he was battling today. He felt almost invincible, although he knows that he's not, he felt like he was able to beat most anyone.

Now lying down ready for sleep, he knows he is not invincible, he knows it was his superior skill and his desperate desire to survive that got him through the fights of the day. But tomorrow brings more fighting, more death, and more devastation. The likelihood of getting through tomorrow unscathed is improbable, but he would do everything in his power to return to help win this battle so that he could return to his wife and his home. He only wishes that he could be sure that Zeke made it through also, but they are commanding different units on different parts of the field of battle. There is no way that he can be there to help keep Zeke safe, just like there's no way that Zeke can help Tobias.

Sleep overtakes him. In spite of his surroundings, Tobias falls into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Uriah wakes inside of what appears to be a barn or some kind of unfurnished building. The pain in his left arm throbbing and causing him to be unable to focus on much else. He looks around to try to determine where he is and what is going on, but he sees nothing that looks familiar. He tries to think back to what happened and suddenly remembers being hit by something and knocked from his steed.

He attempts to sit up, but as soon as he lifts himself slightly, he falls back, his entire body throbbing from the pain.

"Captain please. You must remain lying. You've lost a lot of blood and are weak," a woman's voice calls from behind him.

"Where am I? How long have I been here? What happened?" Uriah starts throwing out question after question.

The woman comes into view, she's a sight for his sore eyes. Hers is a face that he wasn't sure he would ever see again. The face of a beautiful girl from his home in the Carolinas, the face of the angel that he'd always dreamt that he would return to after all of this is over.

"Marlene?" he asks.

"Shhh… Don't talk. You are in a barn that the Confederates turned into a field hospital. It is just after midnight on July 2. You've been here for almost two days now. The battle is still raging and it's believed that the Confederates have the upper hand, but the Yanks are not backing down. We've lost around 13,000 men so far, but we are still fighting. I talked to an injured colonel earlier, he says they should be able to break the back of the Yankees today."

"What's wrong with me? I remember…" he pauses and takes a breath. The pain overwhelming him for a moment. "I remember ordering my men forward… then a sharp pain… then nothing."

"It looks like a cannon ball grazed your left arm, taking with it a huge chunk of skin and muscle, almost down to the bone. You were found slumped on your horse, passed out. He was wandering aimlessly around the battle field."

"What of my men?"

"I don't… I mean, I'm sorry but most of the cavalry near where you were found were shot and killed. I don't know if those where your men or not."

Uriah averts his eyes from Marlene's sadly. He's been through so much with his men. They've averted death more times than he would care to admit. Now they may all be gone and he is here, unable to move.

"What of my arm?" he asks.

"The doctors don't have high hopes, Uriah. The muscle from your bicep has basically been ripped from your arm. You may get some movement back into it, but as of right now I can't really answer whether you will be able to use it again or not."

* * *

Early in the morning on July 3, the Union artillery perched on Baltimore Pike opened up on the Confederates. This attack was followed by a Union infantry assault in which they swept downhill off Culp's Hill and attacked through the woods. The fighting was fierce, and for several hours the two armies battled back and forth. The Union commanders did a superb job of rotating troops so that a constant rate of fire could continue. Zeke attempted multiple charges up the hill but each time the attacks were repelled. Though their attacks were repelled, they were able to hold off the Confederates and Zeke was able to stay safe.

The Confederates' plan of attack was to assault the Union center with 12,000 troops with General James Longstreet coordinating the attack. After a devastating artillery attack that was intended to loosen up the Union defenses, the Confederates attacked across a mile of open ground.

On the other side of the battlefield stood Union Colonel Tobias and the second Corps. The "copse of trees" in the center of Tobias' lines were the focus of the Confederate assault. The Confederate ranks were close to a mile wide and through a series of oblique movements, were concentrating their forces in the middle by the copse of trees marking the Union lines.

The Confederates, under constant long-range artillery fire by Tobias' unit, were pushed back, this created ghastly holes in their ranks. The Confederate ranks were steadily decimated and their lines were now close to 1/2 mile long as Pettigrew moved to the right and Pickett toward the left, converging toward the Union lines.

On the Union side, the attack that Tobias was leading was succeeding. A rogue bullet fired at Tobias, wounding him in the thigh. Though injured, he issued and order that he was not to be removed from the battlefield until the engagement was decided.

Finally the Confederates reached the stone wall with roughly 200 men and led by General Armistead who had put his hat on his sword, they stormed the wall and fought hand-to-hand with the Union soldiers. Shortly thereafter, General Armistead was mortally wounded and as Union reinforcements arrived, Pickett's Charge stalled. Without leaders, the remainder of the Confederates either retreated, were killed or were captured.

With the battle decided, Tobias leads Bronte from the field of battle to the Union field hospital in town. His leg throbbing, he dismounts and collapses outside of one of the homes. The citizens that remain carefully bring him into the house to care for his injured leg.

The Confederates had over 50% casualties while the Union had only 1,500 casualties total on the third day. The Confederates broken, retreat back toward the south. General Lee rode up to meet his troops as they retreated and exclaimed that the failure "was all my fault".


	16. Chapter 16

**Just in case you forget, I don't own the characters in this story. Nor do I own the rights to what happened in history, the letters that I used to convey what was happening during the battles. I also do not own the newspaper articles from the New York Times that were published in 1863 in the following chapter.**

July 4, 1863

All day on July 4, 1863, following the savage three days of battle that occurred in and around the town of Gettysburg, Pa., the two opposing armies sat on opposing ridges and looked anxiously at the other's position across the intervening mile. Union Gen. George G. Meade issued congratulations to his army for its repulse of a determined Confederate attack of the day before. "Our task is not yet accomplished," Meade told his men, "and the commanding general looks to the army for greater efforts to drive from our soil every vestige of the presence of the invader." Meade sent out skirmishers to probe the Confederate lines but, knowing the Rebel army had never before been dislodged from a defensive position, refused to order an attack.

The Rebels would have welcomed a Union attack on their very defensible lines - and the opportunity to repay the Yankees for the terrible losses the Southern army had suffered in its magnificent attack of the day before. But Confederate commander Gen. Robert E. Lee was most concerned with making a safe retreat back to Virginia. To retreat in the face of the enemy was always the most hazardous of maneuvers for a Civil War army, and Lee gave very explicit instructions to his officers on how the withdrawal was to be executed.

The army was to hold its position on Seminary Ridge on the 4th while the wagon train carrying more than 10,000 wounded men moved to the northwest, taking a relatively easy route through South Mountain to Chambersburg. The wagons would then move southwest to complete the 40-mile journey to Williamsport, Md., at the Potomac River. After the wagons had a head start, the rest of the army would march southwest through a more rugged pass in South Mountain and reunite with the wounded at Williamsport. Part of Gen. Jeb Stuart's cavalry would screen the army by riding south toward Emmitsburg and then cross the mountains and rejoin the marching columns.

At 4:00 P.M. during a blinding rainstorm, Gen. John D. Imboden, with 2,100 cavalrymen and 23 cannon, began escorting the 17 mile long column of wagons and ambulances, carrying the army's wounded and supplies, departing the battlefield on a roundabout journey toward the Potomac River. After sunset Gen. Ambrose P. Hill's III Corps began its retreat, followed by Gen. James Longstreet's I Corps, and at 2:00 A.M. on the 5th Gen. Richard S. Ewell's II Corps pulled out and followed the rest of the army toward Virginia. All that was left of the Southern force at Gettysburg was about 7,000 men who were too badly wounded to make the journey and had to be left to the care of Union surgeons.

The rain continued all night and the next day, as the wagons continued lumbering over the muddy roads. In spite of harassing attacks by small parties of Union cavalry, the wagons started arriving at Williamsport on the afternoon of the 5th, where Imboden found that the swollen river made the ford impassable. Learning the next morning that 3,000 Union cavalrymen were approaching, Imboden deployed the wagons in a semicircle, armed the drivers, and managed to repulse the Union attacks until nightfall, when a Rebel cavalry brigade arrived and drove away the Yankees.

Many of the injured soldiers remained in the homes and the field hospitals being cared for by the citizens of the city and the field surgeons. Tobias lies on a bed in the home of one of the citizens who found him outside of their door. He was transported to a field hospital where the bullet was removed from his leg. In the evening of July 4th, Zeke goes to the field hospital to find Tobias. He received word that he was transported there once it was evident that there was cease fire.

"The fighting here appears to be done," Zeke says walking into the large tent where Tobias lies with the other injured soldiers. Zeke sits on the edge of the bed and looks at his friend, "Maybe you should consider going home for a while, spend time with your wife and heal."

"What's happening? Where's Lee?" Tobias asks ignoring the previous comment.

"They are still sitting on Seminary Hill, apparently waiting to see if we are going to make a move toward them. Their forces are severely depleted and scouts have already seen wagon trains full of injured soldiers and large artillery leaving the area and heading south. The heavy rains are slowing them down, but they are moving out."

"Are we in pursuit?" Tobias asks.

"Your unit is being led by Major Briggs, they are moving out in the morning to push the Rebs further south."

Tobias sits up. Pain shoots through his leg as he throws them over the side of the bed and attempts to stand.

"What do you think you're doing?" Zeke asks.

"I need to be with my men, Briggs can't command them like I can," Tobias says. "They have no respect for Briggs."

"Well, you can't go. You can't even stand yet."

"I don't need to stand, I need to mount Bronte and be on my way."

Zeke scowls at his friend, "You can't be serious. You could go home and be with your bride. You could…"

Tobias looks at him pointedly, "What would you do?"

Zeke sighs exasperated, he knows he wouldn't leave. He knows he would never let someone else lead his men into a possible fight. As much as he loves Shauna, his men are also just as important to them. They all have lives and families outside of this war and he and Tobias have both made it their mission in life to get as many of their men home with their families as they can.

"Fine, stay here for the night though, they leave at first light."

* * *

Early the next morning Tobias limps his way out of the field hospital and to the brilliant steed being held outside of the tent waiting for him. Bronte nuzzled his rider as Tobias approached him and offered him an apple. One of Tobias' soldiers helped him to mount his steed, the pressure off of his leg and the feel of the magnificent beast beneath him, made the pain of his wound dissipate as he steered Bronte to the front of his troops. Without a word, his soldiers looks upon him in awe of his dedication, loyalty, and persistence. They fell behind him, Tobias' soldiers would always follow him because they all know that he would willingly lie down his life for each and every one of them and they respect that.

Zeke watches from his vantage point as Tobias leads his troops south in pursuit of the Rebel forces leaving the area. They received word that there was another huge victory for the Union in Vicksburg where a major Rebel base was surrendered to the Union. These victories came consecutively and have proven to give the Union the current upper hand in this war. With any luck, the war would come to fruition soon and Zeke and Tobias will be able to return to their wives and their homes.

Although the Union won the battle of Gettysburg, it has come with heavy losses and much destruction. Zeke looks out into the early morning light on July 5th and although the morning brings beautiful hues of pink, orange, purples, and blues following the torrential downpours of the day before, it also brings light to the devastation left behind after such a horrific battle.

The farms and surrounding fields have been raped of their vegetation, burned out from days of cannon and musket fire all around. The fields are covered with the remnants of the battles littering every inch of the once beautiful countryside.

Most of his unit has moved on, Tobias and his unit are already marching toward Maryland in pursuit of the Rebel forces that left this place in shambles. Tobias' wound, although bad, didn't stop him from mounting Bronte and following the severely damaged Rebel forces into Maryland toward Virginia.

In Gettysburg, Zeke moves from house to house in town taking inventory of wounded Union soldiers being cared for and Rebels being held as prisoners of war. The wounded Rebels that were left behind by their retreating comrades will be taken into custody and remanded and tried as traitors.

Many of the Rebel wounded were collected throughout the night and are being taken out of the area by the Rebels, however many of the more critically wounded have been left behind to be taken care of in the Union field hospitals.

Zeke enters the home of a Gettysburg citizen and finds her caring for a wounded soldier. On first glance he recognizes the soldier so he immediately assumes the soldier is a Unions soldier. But when Zeke approaches him and looks more closely, he's shocked to see his brown eyes reflected back at him.

"Uriah?" Zeke asks.

Uriah looks up and immediately scowls at the sight of his older brother standing before him. He's in too much pain and too close to death to speak. But the look on his face is enough to send a message to Zeke.

Zeke ignores the look and looks at the woman caring for his wounded brother.

"He's lost a lot of blood colonel. I've been doing the best I can for him, but he needs a doctor."

"Thank you mam, I'll send for a group of soldiers to transport him to one of the field hospitals that have been set up for wounded soldiers. Thank you for caring for him."

She smiles sadly and nods. Zeke then leans in and addresses his brother. "Uriah, I know that you hate me and that's okay but I'm not going to allow you to die here."

Uriah grunts at his brother, obviously annoyed about being at the mercy of his brother and the Yankees. He always knew that they would eventually confront each other in this war, but he never expected it to happen this way. Uriah watches as his once beloved brother leaves the house, scowling at the prospect of owing something to the man that betrayed him.

Zeke takes leave of the house and continues his rounds through the town looking for wounded.

* * *

July 7, 1863

Shauna goes outside on the warm July morning to collect the newspaper to see if there is any news of the battles in Gettysburg. It's only been days since Zeke and Tobias left the safety of their home and joined their troops to lead them into battle. No word has come from the colonels, but the battles have been raging and they only got word yesterday that the fighting in Gettysburg ceased but not without huge causalities to both sides. It was a Union victory, which the women were happy to hear, but no word about the condition of their husbands has been released thus far.

**_Special Dispatches to the New-York Times._**

**_BATTLE-FIELD NEAR GETTYSBURGH, Thursday 4:30 P.M._**

**_Via BALTIMORE, Friday A.M._**

**_The day has been quiet up to the present moment. The enemy are now massing a heavy force on our left, and have just began the attack with artillery. The probability is that a severe battle will be fought before dark._**

**_The rebel sharpshooters have been annoying our batteries and men all day from the steeples of the churches in Gettysburgh._**

**_We hold the Emmettsburgh and Baltimore roads. L.L. CROUNSE._**

**_BATTLE-FIELD NEAR GETTYSBURGH. Friday morning July 3, - three A.M._**

**_via BALTIMORE, one P.M._**

**_At the close of my last dispatch at 4 1/2 P.M. yesterday, the enemy had just opened a heavy attack by artillery on our left and centre. The tactics of the enemy were soon apparent - a massing of their main strength on our left flank, which covered the Frederick road, with the determination to crush it. So intent were the enemy on this purpose, that every other part of the lines was left alone._**

**_The fighting was of the most desperate description on both sides. Our gallant men fought as they never fought before. We had against this great onslaught of the enemy three corps - the Second, Third and Filth. The Third and Fifth joined hands, and fought heroically. The Second ably supported them, and at the same time held its own position. One division of the First was also engaged._**

**_The fighting was so furious that neither party took many prisoners. We captured about 600 in one or two charges._**

**_The hisses, considering the duration of the conflict, are more than usually heavy on both sides. Many of our most gallant officers have fallen. Gen. SICKLES' right leg was shot off below the knee. Amputation has been performed, and he is doing well._**

**_Late in the evening, Gen. MEADE called a council of his corps commanders, and it was re-olved to continue the fight so long as there was any one left to fight. L.L. CROUNSE._**

**_BALTIMORE. Friday, July 3. Via WASHINGTON, Friday, July 3._**

**_Our correspondent has just arrived from the battle-field at Gettysburgh, having left there at 3 o'clock this morning. The reports of the occurrences in that vicinity, as thus far rendered in the Philadelphia and Baltimore papers, are almost totally incorrect. A brief and candid statement of the situation up to this morning is this:_**

**_In Wednesday's fight we were repulsed, simply because we were overpowered and outflanked. We fell back to the rear of Gettysburgh, and held that position. The action was not general, and was not intended to be by Gen. MEADE. It was brought on by Gen. REYNOLDS, under the impression that his force exceeded that of the enemy._**

**_There was no fighting yesterday until 4 1/2 o'clock, P.M. A bloody engagement was then fought, lasting until dark, resulting in a substantial success to our forces, the enemy being repulsed with great loss. The particulars I have already sent you by a special courier._**

**_The total number of prisoners taken up to this morning was about fifteen hundred - eight hundred and fifty on Wednesday, and six hundred on Thursday. This is reliable._**

**_The enemy made the attack yesterday. It was terrific, and they threw their whole force into it, but they were finally repulsed with great slaughter._**

**_At daylight this morning the battle was renewed, the cannonading being rapid and heavy. It was the determination of our Generals to fight to the bitter end. L.L. CROUNSE._**

**_WASHINGTON, Friday, July 3._**

**_An official dispatch was received this afternoon from Maj. -Gen. MEADE, dated Headquarters Army of the Potomac, July 2. 11 o'clock P.M., which says:_**

**_"The enemy attacked me about 4 P.M. this day, and, alter one of the severest contests of the war, was repulsed at all points. We have suffered considerably in killed and wounded. Among the former are Brig.-Gens. PAUL and ZOOK, and among the wounded Gens. SICKLES, BARLOW, GRAHAM and WARREN, slightly. We have taken a large number of prisoners."_**

**_SECOND DISPATCH._**

**_WASHINGTON, Friday, July 3._**

**_A later dispatch has been received from Maj.-Gen. MEADE, dated 8 o'clock this morning, which says:_**

**_"The action commenced again at early daylight upon various parts of the line. The enemy thus far have made no impression upon my position. All accounts agree in placing their whole army here. Prisoners report that LONGESTREET'S and A.P. HILL'S forces were much injured yesterday, and had many general officers killed. Gen. BARKSDALE, of Mississippi, is dead. His body is within our lines. We bare thus far about 1,600 prisoners, and a small number yet to be started._**

**_Special Dispatch to the New-York Times._**

**_Among the casualties in yesterday's engagement were the following:_**

**_Lieut. Bayard Wilkison, commanding battery G, Fourth regular artillery, son of saml. Wilkison, Washington Correspondent of the TIMES, right leg shot off below the knee while gallantly fighting his battery against an eight gun battery of the enemy enfilading his position; believed to be prisoner._**

**_Col. Stone, One hundred and Forty-ninth Pennsylvania, commanding brigade, badly wounded._**

**_Col. Root, Ninety-fourth New-York, wounded and prisoner._**

**_Col. Tilden, Sixteenth Maine, taken prisoner._**

**_Capts. Hovey and Thomas of Gen. Robinson's Staff, wounded._**

**_Col. Eaton, Seventy-fifth Pennsylvania, wounded._**

**_Col. Lockman, One Hundred and Nineteenth New-York, wounded._**

**_Adjt. Dodge, One Hundred and Nineteenth New-York, wounded and captured._**

**_Lieut.-Col. Arrowsmith, One Hundred and Fifty-seventh New-York, killed._**

Shauna's heart sinks as she read through the dead and wounded Union soldiers. Although she's relieved that Zeke's name isn't among the dead or injured, she's distraught that Tobias' is. It doesn't say anything about his condition, but now she's going to have to tell Tris that her husband was wounded. Maybe she should just show her the paper and allow Tris to find the name herself. She doesn't know how to soften the blow and she doesn't know how Tris is going to handle this. It's been all she and Christina could do to keep Tris here and safe over the past few days. It wouldn't surprise Shauna if this news made Tris immediately suit up and become James again.

She turns to enter the house when a courier arrives in front of the house. He dismounts and approaches Shauna. Her heart leaps into her throat at the sight of the young man in navy blue. With what she's already learned, she's terrified that he's coming to deliver news of Tobias' death.

She stands and waits as the man approaches her.

"Mrs. Ezekiel Monroe?"

"Yes?"

"I have correspondence for you. Also is Mrs. Tobias Eaton at this residence as well?"

"Yes, she is. But I first must ask you, the newspaper says that Colonel Eaton was wounded in the battle, does he live?"

"Yes mam, Colonel Eaton left Gettysburg the morning of July 4th to lead his unit in pursuit of the Rebs. It is my understanding that he was shot in the leg, but he insisted on leading his men."

"Where does this news come from?" Shauna asks.

"Colonel Monroe mam. He said that if you were to ask about Colonel Eaton, I was to explain what I just told you since he didn't have opportunity to write it in his letter to you."

"Thank you, soldier."

"Shall I wait for correspondence from you and Mrs. Eaton?"

"Yes, and please come in and have something to eat."

"Thank you mam."

* * *

**One thousand miles southwest on the same day, July 4, 1863, Union general Ulysses S. Grant accepted the surrender of Vicksburg, a major Confederate stronghold that was a lynchpin to controlling the Mississippi River. After hearing the good news from both fronts, Abraham Lincoln spoke to a crowd of Independence Day well-wishers in Washington, trying out some words that he would later make famous at Gettysburg: "How long is it — 80 odd years — since on the Fourth of July for the first time in the history of the world a nation, by its representatives, assembled and declared as a self-evident truth that 'all men are created equal.'"**

* * *

**AN:**

**This story was apparently nominated for Most Original Story on an awards that Sunni96 is having. Go and check out the people who are nominated and go to Sunni96's profile to vote for one of us. It is very nice that someone is taking the time to acknowledge the writers here. **


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

There are times in your life when you are confronted with decisions that will change your life either for the better or the worse. Most times people don't notice when they are confronted with those kinds of decisions because almost every time they are the minutest choices that they don't even give it a second thought. That was what happened to Beatrice when she decided to trust Tobias. Her decision to allow him to write her, or to trust him in the cave while they were on their scouting mission, her decision to allow him into her life was just so easy and natural that she never gave that decision a second thought. Even the decision to marry him was an easy one, even after only knowing him for a short period of time. She never questioned those decisions, nor has she ever thought those decisions were wrong.

But then there are times in life that the decision is much more difficult. Those are the times when people second guess themselves because they recognize that the decision they make can ultimately change their lives either for the better or worse. Those are the decisions that people mull over and dread, because they know that the wrong move can have a devastating effect on their lives. Beatrice has had plenty of those also, her decision to become an Underground Railroad conductor, her decision to steal Abraxas from her father and runaway to the north, and especially her decision to become a Union soldier. These are decisions that didn't come easily to her. No matter how bad things in the south were for her, she had a hard time leaving her home and her mother knowing that she would never see her again. She had a hard time deciding to be a soldier because she knew that she was in just as much danger as the men that were fighting, maybe even more because if they found out about her, she could be put to death. Now she finds that she's once again confronted with a decision that will change her life forever.

In the moments after the courier arrived with letters from Tobias and Zeke it seemed that all would be well. The battle in Gettysburg was over and the Union forced the Rebels back into the south. With two major battles won within days of each other, the south was buckling under the might of the northern armies. She had hoped that the soldiers might get a reprieve, but she didn't expect what she found out.

The first thing Shauna did was to show Beatrice the newspaper with Tobias' name and his injury. The courier went on to explain that his injury was not mortal and that he had mounted his horse and moved his troops in pursuit of the Rebel army. As she read the newspaper and listened to the courier's words, tears streamed down her face, furious at his stubbornness and that he didn't come home when he could have, proud of the strong and dedicated soldier that he is, and terrified for his life because everyone knows that infection kills more soldiers than bullets, bayonets, or cannon balls.

It was then through her tears that Shauna handed her the letter addresses to her in Tobias' handwriting. She quickly opened the letter and took in her husband's words…

My Love,

I take this opportunity to inform you that I am well at present and hoping that these few lines may find you in the same state of health. The fighting seems to have stopped and the Rebs are moving south back into Virginia. I know you will find out that I've been injured, please don't fret however as I am fine and moving out with my unit at first light. I hope you are still allowing yourself to heal as bullet wounds are nothing to ignore, a lesson I have only recently learned from personal experience. I worry for your wellbeing and the wellbeing of my dearest friend, Shauna. In spite of my injury, I won't get home and I pray that you keep your promise and remain in our home and wait for my return. I must ready myself to move out, Zeke promises that this letter will be sent soon, so know my love for you travels with me as I move across the countryside.

Your Dear Husband,

Tobias

She reads the letter over and over, he's been injured and there's nothing that she can do about it. According to the courier he was shot in the leg, an injury that would send most any soldier home to their family to heal. Surely he isn't able to really walk well, but yet he's still there, fighting and traveling. She doesn't know why she keeps reading the letter, is it that it comes from her beloved? Is it because he's injured? Thoughts swarm in her head about returning, about staying as he's asked, about going and finding him to see for herself that he's doing fine, but none of these thoughts seem to make her focus on anything in particular.

Shauna clears her throat behind Tris as if to remind her that she and Christina are still here and so is the courier.

"Tris, if you want to send a reply, you must write it now. The courier must be on his way, we've held him here long enough," Shauna pushes gently.

Tris simply nods and takes paper and quill and begins to write…

My Dearest Husband,

It is with a heavy heart that I write this letter. I miss you dreadfully and the news of your injury and the fact that you will not be returning to me just yet has caused a wretched feeling to settle within my gut. Everything within me tells me to put my uniform on once again and return to the battlefield to be with you, but I try to be an obedient wife and do as you ask. I must admit however, that I don't know how much longer I will be able to keep up the pretense of a dutiful wife before James returns to the field of battle with Abraxas. Everything within me is fighting itself at the moment. Please know that you are in my heart and if James does return, please don't be angry, just know that your wife can't live without you and she needs to be with you no matter the consequences.

All my Love,

Beatrice

She seals the letter and hands it over to the courier to be delivered. He informs her that since Colonel Eaton is no longer in Gettysburg, her letter will be sent along to Virginia at the first opportunity.

Knowing how the couriers work, she simply nods her head in agreement and turns to retire to her room. It is here that she sits upon her bed staring at the Union soldier's uniform hanging battered and worn in her closet. The holes have been mended, but it is obviously a uniform that has seen lots of action in the Virginia wilderness.

It is also here where she makes a decision that she knows will once again change her life either for the better or worse…

* * *

Uriah wakes in the shadow of a familiar face. He was moved from the home of the woman that had been caring for him in town to the Union field hospital. Zeke had insisted that the doctors do everything in their power to mend Uriah's injuries. After hours of surgery and days in a coma, this is the first time that Uriah is opening his eyes.

At first he isn't sure if the person in front of him is real or if it is the hallucination of a dying man. Then he realized that the pain he had felt for the days after he was shot was not nearly as terrible as it had been.

He tries to sit up, realizing that he is no longer in that house, he's somewhere else… A tent.

"Shh… Don't move, you'll hurt yourself. I'm so glad you're finally awake," she says smiling warmly at him.

He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. He looks to the woman in horror.

"Don't worry. When Colonel Monroe had you moved from that house, you had lost your ability to speak and you were on death's door. He forced the doctors to mend your injuries. The injuries weren't as bad as they originally thought, but the infection spread throughout your body and effected your vocal chords. The doctors believe that you should make a full recovery after some rest."

He gestures to her, wanting to know where she came from and how she got here.

"Me? Oh your brother sent for me. One of your dying soldiers saw you brought in and saw how horrified your brother was to lose you. The soldier told him about me, so your brother sent a courier under a white flag to ask that I be brought to Gettysburg so that I might be by your side through your recovery."

Uriah looks upon Marlene, his beloved wife and nurse in shock. They were secretly married only a few months ago and they had yet to be able to spend any real time together. Although he's still furious with his brother and he's angry with the dead soldier that told him about Marlene, he's happy to have her here with him.

"Your brother knows that we were married recently, he promised that he wouldn't let anyone else know. He's told everyone that I am a Rebel nurse, sent to look after one of my own soldiers. You know, he's not as bad as you think he is. I know he hurt you, but you really should listen to what he has to say."

Uriah scowls at her. He would love to tell her to mind her business, but he can't, so he continues to scowl at her.

"Alright, I get it, mind my business…"

He smirks knowing that she read his facial expression. That's what he's always loved about her, she always knows what he is thinking but she also tries to be a voice of reason. The sad thing is, she's usually right and he knows it. But in this case, he isn't ready to let down his defenses.

Just then the curtain moves and Zeke enters the space where his brother lies, weak but awake.

"Colonel Monroe, Uriah has woken," Marlene says smiling.

"Marlene, I've asked you to please call me Zeke. Colonel Monroe is far too formal for family," he says while looking past her at his brother.

"How are you feeling?" Zeke asks looking directly at Uriah.

Uriah scowls. He looks to Marlene then away from both of them toward the white curtain surrounding them.

"Well he's awake. He still isn't able to talk, which was expected."

"Indeed," Zeke says sadly. "Does he seem to be in pain or does he need anything?"

"Not now. But I have a question, when can I take him home?"

"I'm afraid that won't be for quite some time. The doctors say that to travel back to South Carolina would most likely kill him. I did have a thought that I'm sure Uriah would ignore, but the home that my wife is staying in isn't far from here. My wife, her cousin, and some help live there. They would be able to help you with restoring Uriah to health and he would be safe from harm there."

Hearing this, Uriah turns his head first to Zeke then to Marlene. He's shocked to hear such an offer from his brother. His father had him convinced that Zeke no longer cared for any of them, especially Uriah.

Marlene looks between Zeke and Uriah, wishing she could read her husband's thoughts. The fact is, they have nowhere to stay that is anywhere close and she would love to be around people that would be willing to help her care for him.

Zeke crouches in front of his brother and looks into his warm brown eyes. He used to see affection and loyalty there, now he sees confusion and maybe even some hatred. It saddens him to see these emotions in his brother's eyes. "I know our father made it seem as though I abandoned you, but I didn't. I wanted to bring you with me so that you could go to university and make something out of your life that didn't require you to put your life in peril. Father wouldn't hear of it. I never wanted to leave you behind, but he threatened my life if I were to ever return, that is the reason that I left. Think back to the day that I left town for good, he and I argued in the town square. You were the reason we were fighting. Please, try to believe me."

Uriah looks at his brother and thinks back six years ago, when he was only fourteen years old. He remembers his father and Zeke arguing. He remembers Zeke storming off, mounting his horse and leaving town without another word. He was so sad and completely livid at his brother for leaving him and not looking back that he believed every word that his father had to say. One time, two years later, Zeke did attempt to return but his father shot at him and instructed the slaves to chase Zeke off of his property. It was then that his father told him that Zeke didn't believe the things that they believe. He didn't believe that the south should be their own country. Uriah believed every word his father ever said, just like a good son should. But now, hearing Zeke's pleading words and his account of what happened, he can remember some of the details that Zeke so desperately wants him to remember.

The thing that Uriah has to decide here and how is, does he still believe that the southern way of life is the right way? Does he believe that black men and women should be treated like animals while women are only treated as good as their worth? Does he want his wife looked upon as if she is his possession as opposed to his equal? Does he believe that Marlene is his equal?

He turns his attention to his beautiful bride and realization hits him, she is his equal. She always has been. She's kept him healthy and safe in so many ways. She's been his crutch when he thought the death and destruction he saw and personally inflicted weighed him down so much that he would almost collapse under the weight of it. But if he takes her home and the south secedes from the Union, would she ever be treated like she should?

He looks back to his brother and gives him a curt nod, acknowledging that he would go to the home that Zeke's wife and cousin are currently occupying.

"Oh, and don't worry, Phobos has been taken care of. He'll be making the trip to Philadelphia with us," Zeke assures him.

* * *

Two days after the courier took the letters, two days after she stopped eating and drinking unless she was forced, Beatrice makes her way out of the house in the darkest part of the early morning, before the sun rises bringing the first light of the day. Her decision to return to her unit was not an easy decision. It is one that she knows will anger her husband, her cousin, and Zeke. But it is time for James to return. She has to know if Tobias is okay. She has to be near him. Being separated from him has been the most difficult thing that she's ever endured. She doesn't know exactly when her feelings for Tobias became so strong, but now that she feels this way for him, she can no longer stomach the separation.

She quickly makes her way to the stables to find Abraxas waiting for her. He looks at her as if he's angry at her for leaving him with these other lesser horses.

"Hey boy, you miss me?" she asks, offering him a sugar cube. He nuzzles her with his snout and takes the sugar from her hand. She smiles and sets to work placing his mount on his back and strapping his bridle on. When he's ready to go, he looks as daunting as ever, an intimidating creature, indeed.

* * *

The morning of July 14, 1863, Zeke arrives at the Eaton residence. He opens the door to find Shauna, Christina, and Johanna sitting in the dining room. Shauna is crying and Christina and Johanna are both trying to console her.

When she looks up and sees the warm brown eyes of her husband, full of concern, she begins to sob even more.

"What happened?"

Shauna tries to respond but the sobs wracking her body make it impossible for her to respond.

"Tris is gone and so is Abraxas. She got the news about Colonel Eaton being shot and she didn't take it well," Christina explains.

Zeke scowls, he knows where she is headed, hes actually surprised that they didn't see her on their way here. Then he remembers seeing a soldier on horseback at dusk.

He looks at Uriah and Marlene, "I have to go and find her, she could be in trouble. This is Shauna, my wife, Christina, she is a nurse, and Johanna, Colonel Eaton's housekeeper. They will help you until you are well." He then turns his attention to Christina, "Christina this is my brother Uriah, he was shot several times in the back. He had a collapsed lung and a blood infection. He is currently unable to speak, but the doctors believe that he will regain his ability to speak. This is his wife and nurse Marlene, they will be staying here so that Uriah can recuperate."

"I can show you to a room Captain and Mrs. Monroe. Are you able to walk Captain?"

"Yes, he can walk. And please Christina, call me Marlene," the three of them get up and move toward the stairs.

When they are out of earshot, Zeke turns to Shauna and Johanna, "Did Beatrice leave or did James?" He knows the answer to this question, but he has to hear it from them.

"James, sir," Johanna says sadly. "After the courier left with the letters two days ago, she locked herself in her room and refused to come out. I brought her food and water, she would eat very little and would hardly speak. She was in a horrible depression. Then this morning she was just gone. I was up by five this morning and she and Abraxas were gone."

"Alright," he says. He turns to Shauna and pulls her into his embrace, "I'm sorry my love. I had looked forward to spending time here with you for a while but it appears that I must go and find our missing soldier."

Shauna smirks through her tears, "I know, I love you so much." She presses her lips to his and hugs him tightly.

"I love you too. I'll see you soon."

With that, he turns and rushes out the door.

* * *

**Sorry for the long wait, I hope this chapter is worth the wait. **


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

July 17, 1863

Diary Entry

I'm not sure when or why I decided to keep this journal, but it is currently my only means of keeping my thoughts from driving me mad. It seems that placing my thoughts on paper is helping me to manage my worries and fears. To keep them in check, like a good soldier should.

It's been a week since I left the comfort of my home and returned to my life as a soldier. In the month that I've been away, things have changed severely. I used to know where to find the units that I was searching out as a courier. In the week since I left my home, I have yet to encounter a single Union unit in my travels. I don't know where Tobias is, I don't know where Zeke is. I only know that I'm alone and suddenly questioning my decision to bring James back.

News of my departure must have reached Zeke by now, therefore Tobias must know also. I wonder if he will be angry with me for leaving on my own knowing what could be out there waiting for me. Uriah could still be pursuing me, I could fall into the clutches of the Rebs at any moment. Yet I don't go back. I know my way home. I do. But I can't bring myself to go back there, not to Tobias' house, not without him.

I never once expected to fall in love, especially as a soldier. I never expected to become so enthralled with another person that their very presence could change my mood completely. And the absence of them makes my body physically ache from the longing to be near them. I never even knew that kind of love would even exist for me. But now that I've found it, there's no way that I'm going to let it slip away from me.

I can't keep riding with no destination, no purpose, so instead of going home I've decided that it would be best to return to Bethesda. To return to the place that I first felt like a whole person. I know that there is nothing there for me right now, but something about returning there feels right.

* * *

July 20, 1863

The thunderous sound of hooves rumble through the forests of Virginia as the group of Union soldiers make their way back toward Maryland. Two weeks after the Battle of Gettysburg, and already the fight is being considered one of the bloodiest of the war so far. The fighting has slowed drastically as both southern and northern armies try to recoup their losses and strengthen their ranks.

Tobias received two letters that morning before turning back toward Maryland. One from his beloved wife just after Gettysburg and one from Zeke telling him that James left Philadelphia on July 14th and hasn't been seen since.

As soon as Tobias found out that Beatrice did indeed reincarnate James, he turned his legion around and began pushing Bronte as hard as he could back toward Maryland where Zeke said he would be stationed until Tobias' return.

After two days of almost endless riding, Tobias trots into camp with his troops in tow. They are exhausted and ready for a break. None of them knows what forced their colonel to push them so hard to return so quickly, and none of them questions. They know better than to question the orders of their colonel.

Tobias dismounts Bronte and rushes to Zeke's tent. He bursts in to find Zeke sitting there, head in his hands, looking exhausted and beaten.

"Where is she? Is there any word?" Tobias asked worried.

"I don't know. I've sent soldiers everywhere from Philadelphia to Gettysburg and as far south as Fairfax. No one has seen hide nor hair of Abraxas or Beatrice."

"I don't understand, she knows these woods better than almost any other. Where could she be? Do you think Uriah found her?"

"Impossible, Uriah is at your house with his wife, Shauna, and the others. He was severely wounded in Gettysburg, he's healing and in no shape to go anywhere on his own. He may never be able to leave the confines of the north again. His doctors don't believe that he will ever recover enough to safely make the journey back to South Carolina."

"What about the rest of his troops. They all know Abraxas."

"Most of his troops lost their lives in Gettysburg and those remaining took rank with the Rebel regulars and went south with everyone else."

"Where the hell did she go? Why did she leave in the first place?"

"She did not take the news of your injury well from what Shauna told me. And one morning when Johanna woke, Tris was gone along with Abraxas and her uniform."

Tobias drops on the cot next to Zeke and stares at the wall of the tent before him. He feels like his world is crashing around him. Beatrice is his world. She's the reason he fights so hard, to make sure he makes it back to her safely. Without her, he has nothing worth fighting for anymore. Before he met her, he was just going through the motions. All he had were his soldiers and his rank. He was weary of it all, just worn out from the constant cat and mouse chase that the war has become. But then this beautiful creature entered his life and she had all of the fire and determination that Tobias had lost so long ago. She understood what was truly at stake in this war and she knew that it was all worth fighting for. She showed him how important it all was and helped him to find his own passion and purpose again and she did all of that before he really knew her. Before he followed her to Shauna's house, before he saw her in Bethesda. Suddenly a thought comes to him.

"How about west? Have you sent anyone to Bethesda, to your home there?"

"No, why would she go there?"

"Because she once told me that was the first place that she felt real safety and love. First the love of family from you and Shauna, then romantic love from me."

"But why would she go there?"

"I don't know exactly, I just have a feeling that is where she ended up. Maybe she hopes I'll find her there."

"Well then, let's go."

"No, I'm going without you. I'll take a courier with me to send word back if I find her or not, but right now you need to be here. Besides I think it might be time to let our men have a leave. You can go to Shauna and your brother and hopefully Beatrice and I will be close behind."

"We need to talk to Meade about a leave," Zeke says.

"Well let's go then, I want to get on my way."

* * *

The next day Zeke arrives in front of Tobias' Philadelphia home, both nervous and relieved. He hasn't received word from Tobias yet to know if he found Tris or not. He knows that Shauna is going to want to know where she is and if she is well or not. He's also worried about what has been happening with his brother over the past week since he left him here.

He enters the house to the sounds of conversation in the dining room. He quietly enters and stands in the doorway taking in the sight before him. Shauna, Uriah, Marlene, Christina, and Johanna all sit around the table eating dinner and talking. Christina and Marlene are discussing what it's like to be a nurse for armies, Shauna and Johanna are discussing what it's like to be on the outside of the war looking in, and Uriah is sitting there quietly taking it all in.

Zeke clears his throat and everyone in the room turns to see him smiling from the doorway.

"Zeke," Shauna squeals. She runs across the room and launches herself into his arms. "Where's Beatrice?"

"I don't know. Tobias thinks he might have an idea, so he went to look for her. We've given our troops a short leave."

"So your home with us for a while?" Shauna asks.

"Yes," he turns his attention to Marlene and Uriah. "How are you healing?"

"Alright," Uriah whispers.

"His voice is returning slowly," Marlene explains. "He's still weak and Christina and I are monitoring him for infection."

"I would like to speak with you alone, Zeke," Uriah whispers.

"Absolutely, let's go into the study," Zeke says. He turns and walks out of the dining room with Uriah following behind him.

When they enter the study, Zeke turns to his brother as he closes the door. He looks at him curiously but doesn't speak, waiting for Uriah.

"I've hated you for so long, I don't know if I know how to not hate you anymore," Uriah whispers.

"Brother, I understand that. But you must know that I tried to take you with me the first time. Then two years later I returned and tried again. Once I was established I returned, but father shot at me the moment he saw me enter the property. He said I was dead to him and to you. He said that you hated me for becoming a Yankee. He had me run out of town by the sheriff."

"That's not true. I heard you came back but he said that it was just to show off your Yankee uniform," Uriah whispers angrily.

"I didn't even return in uniform," Zeke defends. "I didn't even tell him that I was in the Union army. Uriah, think about it, we were brothers, best friends, why would I leave you behind with that monster? He was cruel and abusive. He beat us almost as much as he beat his slaves, and he seemed to enjoy it almost as much. I promised that I wouldn't leave you behind. I tried, I promise I did."

Uriah scowls at his brother. Although he's a hardened killer. He's made a name for himself through his cruelty and bravery in battle, he's still only twenty years old and still very much the young man that felt so betrayed and left behind all those years ago.

"Uriah, the doctors say you may never be able to return to the south, not in your condition. I would love nothing more than for you to move into my home in Maryland. There is plenty of room there for you and Marlene. I also have a guest house on the premises that you are welcome to make your own."

"I'll think about it. But one thing I must know first, Ezekiel, who is the ghost rider? The scout that wielded that magnificent white steed."

Zeke looks at him skeptically, "The 'ghost rider' as you call him is confidential information. Maybe someday, after some time, I might share that information with you. But today is not that day." Zeke knows that it will more than likely be much sooner than later that he's going to have to explain Beatrice to Uriah. When Tobias finds her and returns her, Uriah is surely going to see her horse and put two and two together. But right now he has to know that she is safe and Uriah isn't going to try to pass on the information to the Rebs somehow. He wants to trust his brother. But that trust is going to have to be earned, on both sides.

* * *

July 22, 1863

Diary Entry

I entered the home of my cousin and the house seemed so different than last I was here. The curtains are all drawn, the air is musty and stale. But it still feels like home to me. The first place that I truly felt safe.

I decided to move quietly up the stairs to the room that was mine. There's no one here to disturb, the need to be quiet is all mine. Like I might be disturbing the specters of the past that currently occupy the space. I entered the room, my room, sat upon my neatly made bed. I feel safe here, I could stay here in this place, quiet and untouched forever. Far away from the war and pain and heartbreak, but I couldn't do that. My husband is out there somewhere. Possibly dying of infection, disease, or in the midst of another great battle that could wound or kill him. What am I doing here? I should be out there, trying to find him. I should be out there by his side, living and dying right next to him. When I said the words 'til death do us part' I meant them with every ounce of my being.

Tonight I'll remain in the safety of this house and in the morning, I'll return to the wilderness to find my beloved.

* * *

Tobias moves Bronte into the courtyard of the Bethesda home of his friend. The house looks undisturbed, but something inside of him tells him that she is here. He feels her close to him, like he has every time she was near since the day they met. It is like she is his missing piece. She's connected to him in a way that no other woman that he has ever encountered.

"Stay here, guard the front. I'm going in to see if there is anyone here," Tobias instructs the courier.

But instead of entering through the front door, he moves around the back of the house to the stables. If Abraxas is here, he will know for certain that she is here also. It is no surprise when the familiar whinny of the snow white steed sounds when the door to the stable is opened. Tobias smiles inwardly knowing that she would never leave him here alone.

Tobias returns to the courier and Bronte, "Travel to Philadelphia to my home and inform Colonel Monroe that his cousin has been located."

The soldier solutes, "Yes sir." He turns his horse and gallops out of the gate and down the street.

Tobias takes Bronte's reigns and guides him into the back of the house to the stables. There he removes the reigns and his saddle. He guides him into the stall next to Abraxas so that they can be close to one another.

He moves back to the front of the house where he quietly opens the front door and enters the dark and musty foyer. This house used to be so full of color and life. Today it is but a shadow of its former glory.

He hears rustling coming from a room upstairs. He quietly makes his way up the stairs when he hears the sounds of bath water running and light splashing. He gently opens the door as not to startle or disturb the occupant.

His heart fill with relief, joy, love, and desire upon seeing his bride washing in the tub of clean water. She's so focused on scrubbing away the weeks of dirt and grime that she's accumulated since she left that she doesn't notice his presence in the room.

Instead of calling out to her, he decides to move to her quietly and begin to wash her back. Being this close to her after almost a month of separation leaves him weak with the need to be near her. To feel her body against his, her lips pressed to his.

When she feels a hand touch her back she's startled and quickly turns around to find the piercing blue eyes of her darling husband.

"Tobias? Is that really you?" she asks with tears forming in her eyes.

"Yes my love, thank God I've found you."

She launches herself out of the water and into the waiting arms of her husband. "Tobias, I was so worried about you. I couldn't just sit there and wait to hear about your wellbeing. I needed to find you, to be with you. I rode for days and could find neither you nor Zeke. I'm not sure what brought you here, but I'm so happy to see you."

Tobias presses his lips to hers, an action that they have both longed for over the past month of separation. He gathers her into his arms and takes her into the bedroom where he covers her with a robe.

"Tris, what are you doing here? When you couldn't find me why didn't you go home?"

"I don't know. I just couldn't go back there without you. I knew I'd be safe here for the night. How did you find me?"

"You once said this was the first place you felt safe and loved. For some reason, I just knew you'd be here."

"I've missed you so much, I love you Tobias."

"I love you too."

* * *

July 23, 1863

The courier arrives at the home of Colonel Eaton and knocks on the door. He's greeting with the smiling face of an American Indian woman with a long scar down the right side of her face.

"Colonel Monroe, mam. I have news from Colonel Eaton."

Johanna's heart beats faster as she invites the courier in and hurries off to find Colonel Monroe among the others in the sitting room.

"Colonel Monroe, a courier is here to see you. He says he has news from Colonel Eaton, sir."

Zeke quickly gets up and moves out of the sitting room and toward the foyer where the familiar courier stands waiting for his colonel. He solutes and nods to Zeke reassuringly. "Colonel Eaton has located your cousin, sir. They are currently in Bethesda."

"Thank you soldier. Our units are on leave for one week. You may return to your home. We will be meeting here in Philadelphia in a weeks time."

The soldier solutes again, "Thank you, sir." He quickly turns and leaves.

Zeke turns and sees Shauna standing in the doorway with tears streaking down her cheeks. "She's fine Shauna. Tobias is with her and they are both fine."

Shauna simply nods and launches herself into his arms. She's so happy that Tris is okay, that Tobias is with her and that her husband is here with her that she can't control her emotions.

Zeke looks down at her, she's never been one to cry so much but over the past week she has been extremely emotional. It could be the war and everything with Tris but he's also always been very perceptive when it comes to his wife.

"Shauna would you come with me please?" he takes her hand and leads her up the stairs to their bedroom. He sits her down on the bed and pulls a chair across the room so he is seated right in front of her. "Shauna, is there something going on? I know things have been stressful, but you are much more emotional than usual."

"I didn't want to tell you with everything going on. Until we knew that Tris was safe."

Zeke looks at her expectantly. Worry and confusion etched across his face. Then realization.

"Zeke, I'm pregnant. I went to the doctor yesterday, I'm pregnant. We're going to have a baby."

He pulls her from the bed and into his lap where he presses his lips to hers with all of the passion and joy that he feels in this moment. When he pulls away and looks into her eyes, she's smiling for the first time in days. "Shauna, I love you so much. You have made me so happy," he says placing his hand at her abdomen. He kisses her again and holds her tight to his body. "Should we tell our family down stairs?" he asks.

"No, let's wait for Tobias and Tris to return. I don't want anyone else to know before Tris."

Zeke simply nods and kisses her once again.

* * *

Tris wakes the next morning in the arms of her husband and she couldn't be happier. They spent the entire night in each other's arms caressing and loving each other. She hasn't felt this content and happy since their wedding night. Like the world has finally come together for her and has brought her love back to her. She looks upon the sleeping form of her handsome husband and smiles to herself. She's not sure what she has done in this life to deserve the love and devotion of this man, but now that she has it she is never again letting it get away from her.

She nuzzles her body closer to his. The warmth radiating from him warms her to her very core. He tightens his grip on her body and pulls her closer so there is no space between them at all.

"Good morning my love," he whispers. "Did you sleep well?"

"Better than I have since you left me," she responds into his chest.

The warmth of her breath on his bare skin sends tingles through his skin. He's missed her so much he can barely control his desire to be closer to her. He leans in and kisses her deeply, expressing all of his love and desire for her in this kiss. "I love you Beatrice," he whispers into her ear then begins to kiss her neck and down to her shoulder. "From now on, we're together, no matter what," he whispers again.

His words and the feel of his hot breath on her ear sends chills throughout her body. Their desire for one another takes them over once again.

* * *

When Tobias and Beatrice ride up to the front of his Philadelphia home the next morning, both are lighter and happier than either of them has been since he left her a month ago.

On the porch sits the familiar forms of Shauna and Zeke having their morning tea, along with two other figures.

When Uriah looks up and sees the ghost white horse approaching the house with a woman on its back and Tobias Eaton next to them, he's confused and somewhat angry. He looks to his brother expecting answers, but is interrupted by the sound of Shauna squealing with delight at the sight of her cousin.

Zeke sees the look in his brother's eyes, but this conversation isn't going to happen here and now. He knew that it wouldn't be long before Tris would return with Abraxas and he would have to explain James to Uriah. But the excitement that sounds when Shauna sees them arriving through the gates is good enough to make it clear that an explanation isn't coming just yet.

"Tris, I've been so worried," Shauna says as she rushes up to the horse as Tris is dismounting.

Tobias gathers the reigns of both horses and leads him to the stable hand waiting at a respectable distance from the reunion.

He returns and gathers his wife into his arms and kisses the top of her head. When he said they would never be separated again, he meant it.

"I'm so sorry Shauna. I was just in a really bad place and I had to get out of here," Tris says. She knows that isn't a good enough explanation, but it's all she has right now. She turns her attention to Zeke who walks up to her and scowls.

"And James?" he asks.

"Not retired just yet," she assures him.

Zeke looks at her and scowls more. He turns his attention to Uriah and Marlene who are slowly making their way over to the group. He sees Tris' uneasiness when she realized who is standing before her.

"Beatrice, Tobias, this is my brother Uriah and his wife Marlene. They will be staying here with us for the time while Uriah heals."

"It's nice to meet you," Marlene smiles warmly.

Uriah nods and keeps his eyes on the woman who dismounted from the ghost horse. She's the same stature as the intrepid scout that was the bane of his existence for so long. But she's a woman. There's no way a woman could be that cunning in battle, could there? He looks to Zeke who is keeping a close eye on this exchange and he suddenly is positive that this is the scout. A woman. He laughs inwardly at the realization that this woman managed to out run, out maneuver, and out think some of the most ruthless soldiers to ever wear the Rebel gray.

Uriah's glare pierces through Tris. She's positive that he knows who she is and she's terrified. She pushes further back into Tobias' chest, he wraps his arms more securely around her. He can feel the trepidation in the way she is holding herself right now. As James she may have been able to handle this situation better, but as Beatrice, she's unarmed and unprepared to look her adversary in the eyes.

"Let's take this inside, shall we?" Zeke prompts. Whatever happens next, he doesn't want it to happen here. "I'm sure there are others inside who would love to see Tris. Besides, a visitor arrived here two days ago looking for you Tris. I think you are going to want to see who it is."


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

They say that your past will come back to haunt you. That you are never safe from the specters that plagued you during your most vulnerable and troubled times. Sometimes these phantoms are simply images that inhabit your subconscious, sometimes they are wraiths that threaten to your very happiness, and then other times they are a presence that is full of possibility and happiness.

Tris has been troubled by the phantoms and wraiths of her past and the past of her family throughout her entire life. She has felt the screams and pain of the spirits of those that her family used, tortured, and abused to further their own prosperity for a hundred years. She's never once believed that she would ever be able to escape from the ghosts of the past. Even when she dared to believe that she could have a real future with a man that she loved, she always knew that menace hovered just behind the happiness ready to strike out and take it all away.

When she entered the house she believed that the past was finally here to condemn her to a life of sorrow and misery. Seeing him standing before her wearing a tremendous smile across his face almost seemed like it was just another nightmare that had come to her waking state to torment her with the mistakes of the past.

His bright blue eyes lit up when he saw her. His blond hair longer than it had been the last time he saw her. He tied his unruly locks back much like she did when she was being James. It had been years since they were last in each other's presence. He smiled warmly upon seeing the beautiful creature before him. She was exactly how he remembered her, but she was also so much more. She wore the experience and knowledge of the trials of war and suffering behind her beautiful blue-gray eyes.

Even though she was terrified at what his presence in her home meant, she was overjoyed that he was there. She gently pulled herself from Tobias' protective grasp and launched herself into his arms. When he wrapped his arms around her, she felt just like she had when she was twelve years old and had yet again gotten injured playing in the fields or climbing trees. He was always the one that took care of her, comforted her when she was hurt, sad, or lonely. Caleb was closer to her age and he had always been her protector but William was her parent. Three years her senior, William comforted her, made sure she was taken care of, and that she was loved. He was more her parent than her real parents had ever been. Their father too intent on power and control, their mother too drunk to notice.

Tobias took in the scene in front of him, worried about who this man was that stood there with his wife in his arms. He looked to Zeke and Shauna for some kind of indication of who this man was. But it was Christina who let him know that this man was not a threat in any way. Her tears of joy and her broad smile that stretched across her face let him know that there was nothing to dread.

Tobias watched as Tris pulled away from the man who was smiling down at her. He waited patiently hoping for some sort of explanation either from his wife, the stranger, or Christina.

Tris soon realized that everyone, especially Tobias was stood nearby watching and waiting for one of them to speak. She took her brother's hand in hers and lead him straight to the dark haired, ocean blue eyed man that was waiting for her.

"William I'd like for you to meet my husband, Colonel Tobias Eaton. Tobias, this is my older brother William."

Will smiled and stuck out his hand as a gesture of friendship and kindness. He'd received a letter from Christina weeks ago informing him that his sister had gotten married. Neither he nor Christina told anyone of their communication over the past year as it was inappropriate and in some places illegal for a black woman and a white man to communicate in the manner in which they communicated. Will had been courting her for years, and it was only once they found each other in Philadelphia once more that he began to pursue her again.

"Tobias, it is an honor to meet the man that my sister has deemed worthy of her affection," Will smiled warmly at Tobias.

Tobias shook the man's hand, trying desperately to bury the worry and resentment he had felt toward this man upon seeing the reaction of his wife to Will's presence. Now only realizing that it was her excitement to see her brother for the first time in years and nothing more.

"The pleasure is mine, William."

"Please call me Will as you are now my brother," Will smiled at the man.

"What brings you to Philadelphia and how did you know that I was here?" Tris asked.

"I live here. I'm a lawyer in the city. I came across Christina and she told me that you were living here and that you recently got married."

Tris looks to Christina then to her brother and sees that they have indeed been back in contact. She knows how the two of them feel for each other, but she also knows that it's a relationship that is doomed. He would never be able to show her as his wife or partner. They could certainly be together, but never in the way that Tris is with Tobias or Shauna is with Zeke. Will and Christina would always have to hide the relationship, because even in the north where people are fighting against slavery most don't believe that there should be equality between the races and even more don't believe that there should be interracial relations.

Tris loves that Will and Christina are back in touch, she's never seen either of them happier than they are when they are together. She smiles between the two, hoping for a day when they can be together and happy without breaking the law.

"Well, I guess you've met everyone else," Tris says smiling.

"Yes, they have been quite hospitable since my arrival two days ago." Will takes his sister's hand, "Can we talk privately for a moment? Please bring your husband as well."

Tris nods and looks to Tobias to follow. Once they reach the outside, Tris guides them to the stables. This is her favorite place, especially since Abraxas is in there.

"Abraxas? You stole Abraxas from Dad?" Will asks shocked.

"He was always more my horse than anyone else's. No one but me could ride him so it was only right that he came with me," Tris justifies.

Will smiles as he approaches the enormous steed and rubs his snout. "I remember the first time you climbed on this horse. He was only a year or two old and you were only ten years old and so tiny. Up until that point he had thrown every rider that had ever tried to ride him. He would buck up and down until the rider was flying through the air. We all stood by and watched as you climbed on his back, too afraid to approach and have him rear-up in fear and throw you. But he never did. He was so gentle with you. The young steed and his young rider. From then on, you were the only one to ever really ride him."

Tobias smiles at the story. He's always known this woman to be audacious, but he never imagined that trait was one she's had since she was very young. And no wonder she and the horse move as one unit when they ride, they are basically one unit. They trusted each other and that trust is one that was established long ago.

"What did you want to talk about?" Tris asks Will.

"I'm here to talk about the plantation. From what Christina told me, you managed to lead over half of their slaves to the Underground Railroad before you took off for the north yourself, is that correct?"

"Yes," she says hesitantly. She knows that there's nothing he could do about it even if he wanted to. He can't force her to go back to the south to face criminal charges but she wonders where this line of questioning is going.

Will smiles, "I always knew you would be someone who would fight the injustices that you saw around you and endured. I'm so impressed with my little sister." He pauses and looks between Tris and Tobias, "Caleb would be proud of you too. You know, while he was dying he told me to make sure that you were taken care of and that you didn't blame yourself for what happened. You didn't deserve what that man did to you and Caleb was happy to lay himself down to protect you.

Tears start to stream down Tris' face thinking about that time and everything that happened. It has been so long since then that it almost feels like a different lifetime or even a dream.

Will continues, "Look the reason that I'm here is to tell you that about a month or so ago the plantation was burned to the ground. No one knows if it was the Union, slaves, or an accident." He pauses and takes a deep breath, "Tris, Mom didn't make it out of the fire and Dad was severely burned. He's been in the hospital since and he's not expected to ever be able to leave. I know you can't go down there, as neither can I, but I thought you should know what happened to them."

Her gentle sobbing from remembering the loss of her brother and being told that he didn't blame her suddenly turned into a torrent of salty tears streaming down her cheeks. Wracked with regret and sorrow, she began to bawl at the thought of her parents having to face such horrible fortune at the hands of fate.

Tobias took her trembling form into his arms and held her tight to him, trying to comfort the normally poised woman. Through war and battles there have only been two times that he's seen her look so vulnerable, when he found her just yesterday when she believed him to be terribly injured and now knowing that she will never again see her parents. She probably knew that deep down, but now the finality of death separates her from those people that she once loved.

"I'm sorry to bring such horrible news with our first reunion," Will says sadly. He looks as though he's already come to grips with what happened and is now only saddened by it, not overcome by the sorrow that Tris is now feeling. "If it means anything to you, Mom was spending more time intoxicated than not. That is why she couldn't get out. She didn't suffer, she simply never woke up. Dad tried to save her and when he couldn't get up the stairs, he tried to save some of his belongings. That is how he got so horribly burned, he wouldn't stop going back in to retrieve his belongings." Will says the last part with venom dripping from every word.

The reality of what he was telling Tris suddenly hit her. She was crying over the horrible misfortune of her father, losing both sons, one of his daughters, now his wife and his home. It was too much to bear. But now the realization that he didn't try that hard to save his wife, but he almost killed himself to save his possessions infuriated her.

She glared toward Will and whispered fiercely, "Please tell me that you are joking. That what you said isn't true." But she could see by the fury in his eyes that what he said was the horrific truth. Even when faced with life and death, their father still was more worried about his belongings and his stature and his greed than his family.

Tobias stood by watching brother and sister come to grips with the monster that was their father. Knowing what he's been told about her father basically selling her at the age of sixteen to a man twice her age, disowning her after she was brutally raped and beaten almost to death because now the deal that he had made for more land, slaves, and money could never happen, this development just was not a surprise to him.

Tris looks from Will to Tobias. The sad and woeful expression is now gone, replaced with a look of resentment and rage. Then she smiles at her husband, a real smile that both makes his heart flutter and terrifies him at the same time.

"Tell me one thing," she says to Will, "will our father ever be able to hurt another person ever again?"

"Tris, I'd be surprised if he lasts the month. The horrors of Andrew Prior are over," Will says firmly. "He can never hurt another living thing again, especially you."

Suddenly realization hits Tobias, the sadness was directed specifically for their mother. The woman, who before she became an alcoholic and addicted laudanum had been a loving and caring woman. Only after she was forced to sit by and watch as her daughters were abused physically and sexually by their father, and then she was physically abused by the same man had she found solace in her pain medicine and alcohol. He realized that neither brother nor sister were mourning their father, they only were mourning the loss of a mother that they only knew from childhood.

Tris nodded to her brother then turned to Tobias, "Perhaps we should return to the house. Everyone will be waiting and I have a feeling that it will be time to explain Abraxas and James."

Will looks at Tris and Tobias confused, "James? Who's James?"

* * *

Uriah sits across from his brother in the study, staring out the window toward the stables. He knows that horse and he knows that woman is his illusive foe. The realization both angers him beyond belief but it also amuses him that he was bested by a woman.

"Who is she?" Uriah whispers. His voice is healing, but he is still barely able to speak above a whisper.

"That is Tobias' wife and Shauna's cousin, Beatrice," Zeke says simply.

"She's also the scout that I've been trying to kill for months now," Uriah whispers accusingly. "How?"

Zeke thinks about this, he knew Uriah would quickly be able to figure this out and he doesn't know how to handle it. Does he tell him about Beatrice or does he deny the entire claim? Just as he starts to speak, Tris walks into the room with Tobias and Will behind her.

"His name is James," she says simply, "and he and I are indeed one and the same."

Uriah looks upon the woman standing before him and he's astounded at the realization that she is indeed the same soldier. The one thing that he can't figure out is how he never realized it before now. She's a beautiful woman, he's seen the soldier up close. He can see the resemblance, but never once saw the beauty that lied beneath the uniform. "How?" Uriah asks her, glaring into her eyes.

"I was to just be a courier for Zeke. I convinced him that I could be an asset. The first time I came across your camp by mistake and overheard your men talking, I went back and told Zeke. Soon I started seeking out your camp to bring back intelligences to the Union. Your men were quite the chatterboxes."

Uriah snarled realizing that if his men hadn't been so loose lipped, then she would have never been able to thwart his attacks the way she did. "And the horse?" he whispered.

"Abraxas, he's my horse. I've had him since I was a child."

"How were you able to maneuver the Virginian countryside like you belonged there?"

"I was schooled in Virginia," she explained. "I spent many years wandering those woods, learning the paths and how to navigate."

Uriah still looked angrily at the woman standing before him, flanked by her intimidating colonel of a husband and her somewhat less intimidating brother. Uriah then turned his attention to Zeke. "You allowed a woman to fight under you?" he whispered in an angry tone.

"Beatrice or James or whatever you want to call her is by far the most obstinate and insolent soldier that I have ever had under my command. She ignores direct orders, she places herself into impossible situations, and she manages to get through every time because of her intelligence and audaciousness. Be angered all you want about the soldier that bested you numerous times Uriah, but don't be angered because she is a woman."

Uriah turned his attention to the other colonel in the room and whispered, "And you met her where, as a civilian or as a soldier?"

Tobias scowled, he didn't like having this conversation with Uriah. "I don't think that is any of your business. Besides what difference does it make?"

Uriah scowls and turns his attention back to the woman standing before him, "You are a child of the south? How are you fighting for the north?"

"Slavery is wrong, Captain," she says. "I've seen more horrors in my life than most of your soldiers. Some of it dealt directly with me, some I only witnessed, but the subjugation of another race or gender is wrong and I will do everything in my power to fight against those who believe they are superior because of the way they look."

"What kinds of horrors could a southern belle such as yourself have seen?" Uriah whispers accusingly. "You are just another child of the south acting out against mommy and daddy."

"You son of a bitch," Will says angrily. "You don't know anything about our lives, especially hers. You want to believe that you are superior? I've seen the way you act with your wife, you don't believe for one moment that you are superior."

Uriah scowls at the man who was speaking, "How would you even begin to know what I think?"

"Because you don't abuse her, you don't beat her or rape her to exert your dominance over her. She doesn't fear you or your wrath. That is what I grew up with," Tris says before Will could answer. "You think you know something about being a child of the south, you know nothing of the horrors that most of the plantation owners inflicted on their families, servants, and slaves. You understand nothing."

"I think this conversation is over," Tobias says taking his wife's hand in his own.

"Just one more thing," Tris says looking at Uriah, "before you sit here and accuse Zeke, Will, or myself of being a traitor, why don't you first try to see what horrors we saw. I know what your father did to Zeke, do you?"

Zeke looks at her in shock. That was a conversation that he hadn't intended on having with Uriah. Zeke scowls at her, "Beatrice."

"I'm sorry Zeke, but he needs to completely understand or you will always be the evil one."

Uriah looks from Beatrice to his brother questioningly. His father beat them both, but it was nothing horrific and she makes it sound as though what Zeke endured was horrific.

"What is she talking about?" Uriah demands in his whisper.

"Your father beat you, yes. But what he did to Zeke was both horrific and evil," Tris says. She looks to Zeke to continue.

"He used to whip me with the horse whip in the stables while he," he paused for a long time. He looked to Tris and Tobias, both of them knew the story, but Will didn't and he wasn't sure if he wanted to share this with Will standing there.

"I'll take my leave," Will says, understanding the look on Zeke's face.

Once he's gone, Zeke looks to his friends for strength, then he turns back to his brother, "while he had his way with me. He… He seemed to enjoy doing things to me that no man should ever do to another man, let alone a child. The only reason he left you be was because I would… give myself over to him so he wouldn't do the same to you."

Uriah looked at his brother in disbelief. But somewhere deep down he knew that what his brother said was the truth. Suddenly his whole world, everything he ever believed started to crash around him as childhood traumas of the past started to flood his memory. The memory of seeing his father alone in a room with the young son of the house servants, the way his father looked at Zeke and then spoke of hi once he was gone. Everything began to make sense and he was sickened by it all. The lies, the deception, and the secrets that were so prominent in the home that he had once felt so safe.

"What about mom?" Uriah whispers.

"Mom? Things didn't start until after mom died," Zeke says. "She never had to bear witness to the monster that her husband had become, but somehow I think she had already known who he was when she overdosed on laudanum."

Uriah was saddened and totally outraged that something so horrific had been going on and he did nothing to stop it. Zeke was always there for him and he allowed himself to believe that Zeke abandoned him like his father told him. When in actuality, his father felt like Zeke had abandoned him.

The sick reality of their childhood was almost too much for Uriah to stand. He sat there in shock looking to the three people who surrounded him. This woman and her husband knew more about his brother and his family than he ever did. They stood by his brother when he refused to see the truth, they became the family that his brother needed and they helped him to overcome it all.

"How?" Uriah asked, "How were you able to deal with this?"

"Tris, after knowing what happened to her and seeing her fight to regain her life gave me strength to fight too," Zeke said smiling at the woman.

Uriah wondered what horrors this woman must have endured for it to so inspire his brother to fight against their father, and everything that happened to him. He's found a new respect for his foe, and it makes him wonder how much more he's going to change as the realities of the past and of the war continue to make themselves apparent to him.

* * *

When Tris emerged from the room where she left Zeke and Uriah to talk, she found her brother sitting on the porch alone.

"Is it true? Have you been fighting as a man?" he asks her.

"Yes, I have," she says. "That is how I met Tobias. Zeke sent me to deliver a letter to his unit. Zeke felt that it was necessary for someone else to know about me so that if something happened to him, I would be protected."

"And are you done fighting?"

"No, when Tobias returns, I'm returning with him," she explains.

"Why?"

"For the first time in my life I have found someone other than you and Caleb that loves me. I love him too and I can't be apart from him, it's not in my nature to sit back and do nothing while my husband fights. I have to fight by his side, it's the only way I now how to be."

"And if you're killed fighting?" he asks.

"Then I will have died a noble death, fighting for what I believe in."

Will sighs, exasperated. He knows his sister and this does not surprise him at all. But he worries for her and he can only hope that this bloody war will end soon so that she can live the life that she deserves.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Our past is what we remember it to be. Sometimes our memories are accurate and sometimes our memories are skewed by our perception of what was happening at the time. Perception often clouds even the simplest memories. We see what we want to see and we remember what we want to remember, we take what we want from every experience, what our brains can handle, and the rest is either forgotten or completely changed by our twisted view of what happened.

Uriah sits and stares out at the stars from the porch of the Philadelphia home trying to make sense of what he learned about what his father supposedly did to his brother, what his father said happened, and what he actually remembers. Zeke did show him some proof of the whippings that he endured at the end of his father's horse whip. The evidence of scars on the backs of his arms and the top part of his back where there were once open raw lash marks. He had flashes of finding his father in a compromising position with one of the young slaves that worked in the stables. He also had flashes of hearing his brother crying out in pain and begging his father to stop what he was doing. But in both of those situations he'd convinced himself that he was having a nightmare or that he hadn't seen or heard what he thought. 'The mind is such a fickle thing' he thinks to himself. He'd managed to convince himself that they were all just the horror-filled dreams of a child who lost his mother and a young man who then lost his brother. But then again, there were always younger men working around the house and in the stables. They never had women working inside of the home cleaning and cooking, they were always young men doing the cleaning and cooking.

The nightmares, or memories, only got worse once his brother left him for the north. Uriah's father convinced him that Zeke was nothing but a traitor who deserved to be killed. His father convinced him that it was his duty to fight for the south and to fight for their way of life. By the time Uriah left his home to join the Confederate army, he was convinced that it was his responsibility to kill his brother. It was like this entire war was about Uriah and Zeke being on opposing sides and it was Uriah's burden to kill his brother by whatever means necessary.

Now he sits here, among people who should be his enemies, and he's never felt more at home. Zeke treats him as though no time has passed and they are still as close as they were before. Shauna and Marlene get along well and became fast friends, Johanna who lives in the house on the grounds is friendly and helpful, and Christina is nothing like the slaves that he remembers from his father's plantation. She's intelligent, well spoken, and she is not submissive in any way. The slaves he remembers were always so obedient, they were even `compliant toward Uriah when he was a child. But now he realizes that it wasn't that they wanted to be compliant, they wanted to stay alive and they knew that if they questioned or acted out in any way they would have been beaten, possibly to death. But now he wonders if they were also worried about what his father would do to them in other ways.

All of the back and forth going on in his head starts to give him a headache. For every memory he has of the perfect childhood, there are horror-filled memories of the sounds of beatings and what he now believes to be the rape of his brother and other young men on the plantation.

But could they just be trying to brainwash him in his addled state? Using their connection to one another and to him to confuse him and convince him that the man that he's been loyal to his whole life was actually evil. Is it possible that he could be so wrong about so much?

He continues to stare up into the heavens, taking in the enormity of the cosmos, and thinking about his past, his present, and his future. Everything used to be so clear. He's a son of the south, it's his duty to defend it but now he's not so sure about that. Out of the corner of his eye he sees a figure make its way from the house to the barn. It's too small to be Zeke or Tobias so it must be one of the women. He decides to get up and follow to see who is there and what they are doing. Maybe whoever it is will be able to help him clear some things up that are jumbled and confusing.

When he arrives in the barn he sees Beatrice standing in front of the four enormous beasts that occupy the stables. These horses are larger and more muscular than normal horses, having seen their fair share of warfare has caused them to become more daunting. The largest of the beasts is the snow white steed belonging to the infamous ghost rider.

He remembers the first night he saw that steed thundering through the Virginian forests. There was a full moon that night and the light of the moon and the shadows cast by the trees seemed to make the pure white steed glow, making him appear to be an apparition moving through the forest. The rider moved as one with the steed through the forest like they were one being instead of two. He remembers being in awe of this horse and its rider even if the rider constantly disrupted his plans.

Uriah watches as Beatrice feeds each of the four horses and brushes them briefly. She's so gentle and loving with each of them that he finds it difficult to believe that she was really the ghost steed's rider.

"You know, you could help brush them instead of hiding in the shadows," Tris announces. She's known that he was there the entire time. She tried to wait for him to come out of the shadows and announce himself, but when she realized that he wasn't going to, she decided to call him out.

Uriah emerges from the shadows looking curiously at her.

"How did you know?" he whispers.

"I heard you follow me in here, also your horse turned in your direction when you got in here. He really is beautiful, what is his name?"

"Phobos," Uriah responds in his whisper voice. "What about the others?"

"This is Abraxas," she says gesturing to the white steed. "This is Bronte," gesturing toward Tobias' black steed. "And this is Skylla," gesturing toward Zeke's caramel colored mare.

"All names of immortal Greek horses," Uriah whispers.

"Impressive. Bronte and Abraxas were horses that pulled Apollo's chariot across the sky, Phobos was a fire breathing horse that belonged to Ares, and Skylla was a horse that belonged to Poseidon," Tris muses.

"Tell me how you came to be a Union soldier," Uriah prompted.

Tris looked wearily toward the man who had tried to kill her several times. She doesn't like talking about her past but in this case she wonders if it is necessary.

"I don't believe anyone should be forced into servitude for any reason. After years of watching abuse and being abused, I felt it was time to do something to help stop it from happening."

"I've been trying to piece together some things in my past. You said you've seen more horrors in your life than I care to know. I was wondering if you would be willing to share some of that information with me. I thought it might help…"

"Help you decide if we are truthful or not?" Tris cuts him off. She takes a deep breath and focuses on the horse that she's brushing. She begins talking without looking up into Uriah's eyes. "My father was an abusive man who used his three daughters as sex toys and my mother was a weak woman who couldn't defend us. He drove one of my sisters to her grave, she killed herself after a particularly brutal evening with him. My other sister was basically sold to another plantation owner who forced her to marry him. She died shortly after when he beat her to death upon finding out she was pregnant. My father tried to give my hand to a man that was twice my age who on the night that it was announced that I would marry him, raped me more times than I care to remember and beat me almost to death. My brothers came to save me and the man killed my brother Caleb after Caleb stabbed him in the stomach. My father never forgave me, even though he continued the sexual abuse. After William left for university in the north I stole Abraxas and traveled north to be with my cousin Shauna. I wanted to do something to help so I begged Zeke to let me be a courier. It was purely accidental that I happened upon your camp."

Uriah scowled remembering what she said earlier about his troops running their mouths without regard to their surroundings.

Tris stands there and continues to brush the horses, she glances up and looks at her adversary with consternation. She can't seem to figure this man out. She's so confused about his intentions that she can't seem to let her guard down when he's around.

"I know you don't trust me," he whispers. "I'm just as confused as you are though. I didn't know about those things that Zeke talked about earlier. I didn't know what kind of man my father is until he forced me to remember. That's what I was doing, I was sorting through my memories trying to find the truth."

"And have you found that truth, Captain?"

"I think I'm arriving at the truth and it's not a happy truth, not like I once thought it was," he whispers. "And please, call me Uriah."

She nods, "You may call me Tris." She pauses and looks to the man who has moved to Phobos and started brushing him. "And what about my alter ego, James. What will you do about that?"

"There is nothing for me to do about James. He is nonexistent, I don't care how involved in the war you are, it would be wrong to kill a woman. Even if she is the best rider I have ever seen in either army."

Tris smiles and nods again as she moves toward Skylla to brush her.

:::

Inside Tobias sits with Zeke in the study looking over some intelligence that arrived by courier earlier that day. It shows the Rebel army moving further into the south to Georgia.

"We are going to need to sure up our lines here in the north while the others march south to engage the Rebs," Zeke says.

"There are already several units marching south as we speak," Tobias says. "Our orders are to remain in the Maryland/ Virginia area to protect our lines."

"Several units have also been sent north to New York to put a stop to the riots up there," Tobias says.

Zeke looks at him and takes the paper from his grasp, "They've enacted the draft and people are rioting because of it?"

"Apparently they are protesting the draft," Tobias grumbles. The losses have been so heavy that if they don't get more men to fight, the Union could legitimately lose the war. "Maybe we should let a Reb army march into New York and let them see how they like fighting the real enemy instead of rioting."

Zeke doesn't respond, he simply nods his agreement.

A knock sounds at the door and Marlene pokes her head into the room, "I'm sorry to interrupt Colonels, but have you seen Uriah? I can't seem to find him."

"No, I'm sorry," Zeke says.

"We are also missing Beatrice," Marlene says a bit nervous.

Tobias looks up at her and he can see the worry in the woman's face. Uriah and Tris were enemies for so long that Uriah might not be able to turn that off.

"Marlene, please check upstairs, I'm going to check the grounds," Tobias says.

Zeke rises and exits the house behind Tobias. As soon as they step off of the porch, they can see the door to the stables open and a light glowing inside. They move across the grounds toward the stables, both hoping that there are no problems that will be to be resolved.

:::

Uriah and Tris stand and brush the horses for a long time in silence.

"Will you ever return to your family's plantation?" Uriah asks in a whisper.

"There is nothing to return to. That is why my brother came to find me. Our family's plantation burnt to the ground killing our mother and mortally wounding our father," Tris explains with a tear glistening in her eye.

"I'm sorry," Uriah says sadly. "No one deserves…"

Tris cuts him off, "Thank you, but as far as I'm concerned my father got what he deserved."

Uriah nods and is about to respond but is cut off by his brother and Tobias entering the stables.

"Uriah, Marlene is looking for you," Zeke says. "What are you two doing out here?"

"Talking and brushing horses," Uriah whispers simply.

"We are clearing the air and trying to learn a little about one another," Tris responds.

Tobias moves toward his wife who is perched on a stepstool at Bronte's side brushing him. He lifts her down and kisses the top of her head, "It's late. Are you ready to turn in?"

Tris smiles and nods to her husband. She turns her attention to the brothers, "Goodnight Zeke, Goodnight Uriah. Sleep well."

Tobias nods to the other men and he and Tris take their leave of the stables.

Zeke looks to his brother for an explanation, "What was that?"

"I was sitting outside going through my memories, trying to figure out what was real and what was not when I saw her enter the stables. We discussed some things about herself and… James." Uriah whispers.

"What about James?" Zeke asks.

"As far as I'm concerned, James doesn't exist. I may be a lot of things Ezekiel, but I would never kill a woman, even if she's the best rider in either army."

Zeke smirks, "She is quite impressive."

Uriah nods, "Tobias certainly has his hands full with that one. She's entirely too fiery and unpredictable for my liking."

Zeke nods, "Try being her colonel. She almost never followed the orders that I gave her."

Uriah smirks. Then he realizes that this is the first time since Zeke left all of those years ago that he feels like he really does still have a brother. Then anther flashback hits him of the day that Zeke tried telling him about when their father chased Zeke from the plantation.

Uriah remembers seeing his brother from the second floor balcony talking to his father, demanding to be allowed to see Uriah. He doesn't know why but he's sure that this is not a nightmare, but a memory. Some of the other memories seemed like they could be figments of his overactive imagination. But this one, it seemed more real, he's sure of it.

Uriah looks to his brother curiously, "When you say you returned for me, what exactly happened?"

Zeke thinks for a moment and responds, "I arrived at the plantation and asked one of the slaves where you were and just as they were ready to answer father emerged from the house, shotgun in hand, threatening me. We argued because when I asked to see you, he insisted that you didn't want to ever see me again. He said you were furious with me for leaving which I could understand, I knew father pumped you full of lies about me.

I continued to argue with him until I saw you standing on that balcony looking at me with fury in your eyes. You looked like you hated me and I knew that whatever father had been telling you had corrupted your thinking. I believed that you were lost to me, so I mounted Skylla and began my journey back to my home in Maryland never again to return."

Uriah thinks hard about that day. Everything that Zeke just told him is exactly what he remembers, the only difference is Uriah's feeling toward his brother. He doesn't remember hating his brother at that point, but watching him walk away never to return made that hatred shine through.

"I didn't hate you," Uriah whispers to his brother. "I didn't understand what was happening. But watching you walk away without me and the fact that you never came back made it easier for me to believe what father was telling me."

Zeke nods his head, "I was wrong to walk away and allow father to win. I was young and still intimidated by the man that took my innocence."

Uriah looks at his brother, the turmoil of the memories and his newly acquired information contradicting everything he thought he knew about his life. But all of the memories and new information make more sense to him than his apparently manufactured memories. What kind of son of the south was he? The first time someone contradicts what he always thought to be true, he starts to change his mind. How could he fight for anything at this point, he's not even sure what he believes anymore.

Uriah sits on the stool he had been standing on to brush Phobos and places his head in his hands. "I just don't know who I am anymore," he says quietly. Part of him hopes that Zeke didn't hear him, but he knows that he wasn't that quiet.

"You are Uriah Monroe, husband of Marlene Monroe, brother of Ezekiel Monroe, and you are an injured soldier. None of the rest of it matters anymore. You can be whatever and whoever you want at this point. You can retire from the United States army and become whatever you want. You could join the Union army and fight alongside your brother, or you could move south of the Mason Dixon and return to the life you once knew. The point is, now it's your choice and not what someone else expects or forces on you."

"Do you really believe that I could assimilate myself into your ranks?" Uriah asks. "I'm far too well known among the Yanks for that."

"True," Zeke says. "But you are my brother. If that's what you want, that's what will happen. Whatever you choose I'll stand behind you. I didn't fight for you once, I'm not going to make that same mistake again."

Uriah takes a deep breath. He's even more confused now than he was before. He's always had someone tell him what to believe and what to do. Now his brother stands before him and tells him that he can do whatever he wants and Zeke will still stand behind him no matter his decision. Uriah doesn't know what he wants, he's never tried to make a decision on his own before.


	21. Chapter 21

Family isn't always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what.

Uriah thinks about this saying as he sits among the people in the Philadelphia home. They have been nursing him back to health, treating him as though he belongs with them, and they never bring up the things he's done against the Union army. He's been beginning to wonder if it would be okay to make a place for himself and Marlene in the north. To become a new man with new priorities and a new family that cares for him more than his parents ever did. A smile finds his face as he thinks about starting anew. The thought sends a thrill through him that he never knew. A new life where he could make a real difference in something, to use his skills, and even start a family with his wife. A new life where his children could grow up with his brother's children like they had always planned.

Zeke smiles at his brother from across the table when he notices the look of happiness and contentment on his brother's face. The fact that Uriah's still here astounds Zeke more than he wants to admit. He thought for sure that the moment Uriah could act on his own accord, he would have been on the first stage coach back to the Carolinas. It thrills him that Uriah is still here but more than anything the fact that Uriah seems content and happy makes Zeke ecstatic.

The conversation around the table is light and congenial, even when Beatrice and Tobias enter the room, the mood does not change. Zeke worried that when Uriah found out about Beatrice that he would immediately call them all traitors and attempt to kill her. Instead he decided that James never existed and there was no way he could ever harm a woman, even if she's the infamous ghost rider.

Zeke is pulled out of his thoughts when Shauna stands and clicks her fork on her water glass. They still haven't told anyone about the baby yet, it just never seemed like the right time. But apparently now Shauna's decided that this is the time to make the announcement. Zeke smiles at her as everyone else silences and looks at Shauna expectantly.

"I just wanted to say that I am so happy that all of the people that I care so deeply for are here with us right now," Shauna begins. "You see, I never had many friends growing up because of the way we moved around. I was always happiest visiting with Tris' and Will's family because I felt closest to them. But now, I have extended that family to all of you." Shauna smiles at all of the people in front of her. Her heart begins to flutter a little, this has been something that has only belonged to her for a while now, she of course shared it with Zeke, but now it's time to share with everyone else.

"Zeke and I have an announcement to make," she pauses for a moment, then smiles. "We are going to have a baby."

Tris, Marlene, and Christina all squeal in delight, happy for their friend. All three women envelop Shauna in a hug. Tobias, Will, and Uriah all shake Zeke's hand and offer him congratulations.

Uriah looks at the scene in front of him. How happy is wife looks among these people and how happy is brother is both with his life and having Uriah near. Uriah suddenly realizes that he does not necessarily agree with everything that these people say or do. His political views are still that of a plantation owner, but fundamentally, he believes in family, love, and happiness, three things that have eluded him for most of his life. He feels more fulfilled here, than he ever has on the plantation with his family or as a soldier.

Marlene breaks away from the rest of the women and returns to Uriah's side. He smiles at the beaming woman next to him and realizes that she's never seemed happier or more beautiful to him than she does in this moment. Marlene has always had a carefree, upbeat attitude about her. She never seems to see the negatives around her, she always makes the best out of whatever situation she's in and she makes fast friends almost everywhere she goes. But even through that, she's never seemed more carefree or upbeat than she has recently.

Uriah leans in and whispers into her ear, for only her to hear, "Can we go talk somewhere?"

She looks at him and he can see the nervousness in her eyes, so he gives her a huge smile. One of those smiles that he reserves only for her. She smiles back and nods.

"I think we are going to turn in," Marlene announces.

Uriah nods toward everyone while they all give him their goodnights. He takes his wife's hand and leads her away to their room.

Once inside, Marlene looks over at him expectantly. Uriah just smiles at her, a smile that makes her heart flutter every time.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"Where do you want to live?" he whispers simply. His voice is coming back a little more, but the doctors now believe that the damage to his voice may be more permanent than they originally believed. "I'm healing quickly you know. I may not be able to return to South Carolina, but we could head back south if you wanted to."

She looks at him and a feeling of nervousness and sadness overwhelm her. She likes it here among these people. But she believes that he wants to return to the south.

"My place is with you, Uriah. I go where you go. If you want to return to the south, then that is where I'll be, right by your side."

Uriah shakes his head. Sometimes he hates the submissiveness of southern women. He thinks that's why he decided that pursuing Tris as James and making her pay for doing her job was a bad idea. He respects her for her abilities and her quick thinking. He also respects her for confessing to him, for being brave enough to leave the social norms behind and following her own path.

"Mar, you don't understand. I want to know what you want. I'm asking if you like it here, if you prefer it here or if you would prefer to return to be closer to your family."

She looks at him skeptically. No man has ever really asked her what she wanted before. She was always expected to follow her father's and brothers' directions. Her marriage to Uriah was the first thing she ever did just because she wanted to. Even joining the Confederate army as a nurse was an order from her father. She has never actually considered what she wanted, she just assumed that at some point they would move south of the Mason-Dixon again.

"I really like it here, Uriah. I've never had real friends before or a real family. I only had my father and brothers who ordered me around like I was their personal servant. I like being around these people. They accept me for who I am and don't look down on me just because I'm a woman."

Uriah nods, he suspected this. He smiles hugely at her. "Then I believe it is time for us to start finding a home of our own. Do we want to live here in Philadelphia or do we want to move near Zeke and Shauna in Bethesda?"

Marlene launches herself into her husband's arms, excited to actually be able to be somewhere that she wants to be and not where she's told she has to be.

"I don't know. I love it here, but it would probably be nice to be near Shauna during her pregnancy," she pauses for a moment then smiles. "Well, they did offer to allow us to stay in their guest house on the grounds. You can't get any closer than that."

"I don't know Mar, that might not be the best idea."

She looks at him sadly, a face that he can't handle looking at. He sighs, knowing that she is going to get what he wants because no matter what others think of his cruelty and ruthlessness in battle, his ultimate goal in life is to make this woman if front of him happy. If she's not happy then neither is he.

"Fine," Uriah says. "We will take them up on their offer, but it's going to be temporary. After the birth of the baby, we move to our own home."

Marlene smiles hugely and hugs her husband tighter. "Maybe we could even consider a baby of our own?"

Uriah looks at her, a bit of shock and nervousness flashing through him. A baby? He's thought about this as something that would be sometime down the line in the future, not something that they would consider now. "I guess we could consider that," he says with some trepidation.

Marlene picks up on his nervousness, but she doesn't back down. She would love nothing more than to have a baby with this man in front of her. The thought sends a thrill through her. Someday soon, she could be a mother.

:::

Tobias and Tris move to the stables hand in hand in the dark of the waning moon. Since they returned, they have had very little time alone together with so many people in the house so Tobias has decided to take her somewhere special to him. They mount Abraxas and Bronte and immediately thunder through the streets of Philadelphia, hooves echoing down the uninhabited cobblestone streets.

Tobias takes the lead and guides them down a dirt road on the other side of town. The sound of the hoof-falls of the two mammoth beasts, absorbed into the soft earth.

Everything between the two of them has been a whirlwind. Their short courtship, their engagement, and their marriage all happening within two months of meeting. Tobias looks at the beautiful creature riding alongside him and wonders what he ever did in his life to deserve such a passionate woman in his life. All he ever did was accept her for who she is and love her for that reason. She had no reason to trust him or love him, but she clearly does love him. She was devastated at the thought of his injury and being separated from him. She did everything she could to find him so that she could be with him. And even now, when he and Zeke return she is returning as James once more so that she can be with him.

He slows in front of a large weeping willow tree in the middle of the vast field of wild flowers and grass. The branches of the willow in full bloom and most of the tendrils reaching the ground, creating a secret, private space within the braches. He found this place as a young man, before he became a soldier, in the days of living in one room with multiple bunkmates and working several odd jobs to get through the day. He needed a place where he could have silence so that he could think, and this place provided him with that sanctuary.

Tobias dismounts and guides Bronte toward Abraxas. He takes the blanket and small basket from the horse and smiles at his bride. Tris smiles back and his heart hammers at the sight of her wonderful smile. She dismounts and they release the horses to graze in the field around them. He takes her small hand in his and guides her between the branches of the tree to his personal private place.

It has been years since he was here, the branches and leaves have all grown and thickened over the years. He smiles at the look in her eyes when they pass into another world of their very own.

"I thought we could use some private time," he says to her smiling. He spreads the blanket on the ground and sets the basket down. He then moves to the center of the blanket and pulls her down with him.

"This place is beautiful," Tris says smiling. "It's like another world, like we've moved into another realm that belongs only to us."

Tobias smiles, "I'm glad you like it here. With so many people in our home, I thought we could use some private time, just the two of us."

He leans in and kisses her deeply, maneuvering the two of them into a lying position. When he pulls away and looks at the beautiful woman in front of him, a deep sadness passes over him. Soon she will be hidden beneath dirt and grime, and the bulk of the heavy navy blue Union uniform. She will yet again place herself in danger to fight the Rebs. Even though Uriah has decided that this situation is one not worth pursuing, the other Rebs won't back down. To them she's a man who has thwarted many of their best plans to attack the Union. He will always see the beauty underneath it all, but he will have to treat her like any other soldier as opposed to the beautiful, graceful woman that she is and he hates it.

"What's wrong?" she asks him concerned.

"I was just thinking that soon we will be back in the midst of this horrific war and we will no longer be able to have these moments. Your beauty will be hidden behind the dirt and grime of war and I will no longer be able to hold you in my arms as I do now. I wish you would reconsider bringing James back and consider becoming a field nurse for our unit or even staying home to help Shauna with her pregnancy. You know she is going to need all of the help and guidance that she can get."

Tris smiles at him. She knows he loves her and for that reason, she has given this request a lot of thought. "Shauna has Christina, Johanna, and Marlene to look after her. What more could I possibly do for her." She sees Tobias visibly deflate at her words. "However, I know how it pains you to have James return to battle once more. And although I believe that James is the best answer, for now, I will become a field nurse for your unit. I can't guarantee how long that will last. I may reach a point that James must make a return, but if that point does arise, I will surely warn you of his approach."

Tobias smiles at the small blond woman in front of him. He wraps his arms tightly around her and presses his lips to hers once more. There is not another word spoken between the two lovers as they enjoy their time together in solitude. For now, the horrors of war and death are far from their thoughts and worries. For now, it's just the two of them, enjoying one another beneath the vast night sky and the thick branches of their makeshift hideaway.

:::

Will and Christina sit on the porch of the Philadelphia home, enjoying the silence. In the south, it would have been illegal for the two of them to sit alone together like this. When they were together in the south, they were always at risk of getting caught, but that never stopped them. When Caleb died, Will blamed himself for his death. He couldn't live with the fact that he stood by and did nothing as his brother bled out from the knife wound inflicted by the crazy man that had brutally raped and beat his sister. In his rational mind, he knew that it wasn't his fault but that didn't stop the guilt that he felt. It was only in minutes like this that he allowed himself to feel something other than remorse and despair.

Christina looked over at the man that she's loved since she was a child. He was always so kind to her and her family. He never made her feel like she was a slave and he was her superior. He challenged her to learn, he taught her to read and write. He taught her math and science and about the history of their country. He always told her, _'History repeats itself. The best way to fix the mistakes of the past is to learn from them and avoid making the same mistakes again.'_ She truly believes those words, because he said it and because she could see it for herself. It was because of him that she learned and became a nurse.

Christina takes a deep breath, taking in the night air. She tries to steady her thoughts and her nervousness. She doesn't know why she's suddenly so nervous to be sitting here with her friend. It's nothing new for them to be seated near one another for some reason. But now, in this place there is more possibility for them than there ever has been before. The still can't marry, but they can be together in their own way, out of the view of others, which would be quite fine by her.

"Christina, I wanted to talk to you about something," Will begins. Will's thought are streaming quickly through his mind as he goes over all of the possibilities of this conversation and this relationship in him head. This is the woman that he always saw himself with. When he imagined his life as a child, she was always there. He denied his feelings for this woman when they were children, in the south they both would have been punished if anything happened between them. She certainly would have been put to death, probably accused of bewitching him or something ridiculous. But now, in this place he could have something with her without fear of such repercussions.

Those words frighten Christina more than she would ever have imagined. She automatically assumes that he's going to tell her about his wonderful fiancé and their perfect life together or something like that. Although she wants him to have everything he's ever dreamed of, she wishes those things were with her.

She looks over to Will expectantly, waiting for him to continue. She smiles nervously to encourage him to proceed.

"Now that you are living in Philadelphia, I was wondering what your intentions are for your future," he says to her.

She smiles to herself a little, thinking about how proper he's always been with his speech and his mannerisms. "My intentions? Like what do I intend to do with myself?"

He nods and smiles, "Yes, precisely."

"Well, now that Tris no longer seems to need me, I'm not sure actually. She and Tobias invited me to stay here and live with them, but they are newlyweds and should have some privacy at some point. I guess I never considered what I would do once the war concluded."

Will thinks about her words for a moment, "You know, I live here in Philadelphia also."

Christina nods.

"If you didn't have anywhere to go… I mean, if you would like…" he grumbles in frustration. He can't seem to get the right words to come out.

"William, are you asking if I would like to live in your home?"

He nods vigorously, "That is exactly what I'm asking."

"In what capacity? I'm not a housekeeper," Christina says.

He shakes his head, "No! It's not like that. Not at all. I meant as my friend, or maybe…"

Suddenly a warm feeling spreads through Christina, she realizes now what he's asking her. Does she want to live with the only man she's ever loved? This is the man she's compared every other man that has ever tried to court her to. They can never be married, they can't live that kind of life together, but what happens in their home behind closed doors is their business and no one else's. She asks herself if she is alright with keeping that part of her a secret, can she handle it? Then she realizes that so long as this man loves her, she would do anything to be with him, including keeping their relationship a secret from the rest of the world.

"It would make me happy to move into your home with you, Will."

Will smiles hugely at the beautiful woman. He dreams of the day that he is free to love her the way he wants to, the way she deserves. This woman has endured slavery, life as a runaway slave, a field nurse, a personal nurse, and now she will finally be able to relax a little and not have to worry about life as much. She will be with him, and he will take care of her forever.

:::

Tris and Tobias lie motionlessly within the solitude of their hideaway. Tris unable to hide the smile that continuously creeps onto her face. She loves this man, she really does. He is the one thing that this bloody war has given her. His love and devotion are things that she doesn't believe she would have ever have found if she weren't being James at the time.

She rolls to her side and looks at the handsome man next to her. He is dozing in the comfort of her embrace. "Tobias," she says. "I love you, you know that right?"

He looks to her and smiles, "I love you too."

"You must understand, this is a big deal to me. I have never loved anyone other than my brothers before. I never imagined that my life would turn out this way and I never expected to meet a man that keeps me this happy and makes me feel this safe."

He smiles at this beautiful creature next to him and realizes that she is pouring her heart out to him. He's known she loves him but hearing this and the depth of her devotion to him makes his heart swell with more love than he ever imagined.

He leans in until he is just about lying on top of her tiny frame, and looks into her eyes. "Beatrice Prior, I love you more than anything. You make me happier than I ever believed I could be." Then he kisses her firmly on her lips. He pours all of his emotion and feelings into this kiss. She deserves to know just how important she is to him and he feels that the best way for her to know is for him to show her through his kisses, his touch, and his attention to her every need and desire.


End file.
